Originally Posted by 1jooj
I think the book idea is splendid. I have a few ideas for kids' books I'd like to work on, and there is clearly a need for nicely produced books for Muslim kids. But a handmade book is a lovely idea for a gift.
Oh, sisters, what a gift is this month! I hope you have all had a month filled with blessings.
This has been a difficult month in some ways, but the blessings--and these are just the ones I have recognized--are almost bewildering. I have felt heavy veils lifted from my heart. I have found a home in Salat this month. I have found the love for the Prophet (sws) that I had been lacking before, astaghfirullah. My ds has fasted almost the entire month. (He's only 9, so we are requiring him now to break his fasting for school days.) I have witnessed the small miracles of a person becoming a believer. There is a new longing to set aside the attachments to the dunya and experience the love of Allah through all things. Subhanallah, I feel electrically charged and the best moments are the time before fajr to sunrise.
And I feel as though I have recognized a spiritual family here, and the path to Allah where I belong. I have cried so many tears and felt so moved. It's impossible for me to describe, I suppose, without sounding like I've lost my mind...but in the sense that my mind is the nafs that struggles against Shaytan, I hope that I am losing it. kwim?
I also had a wonderful experience at our local mosque. We do Iftars where women are divided into weekly "teams," and I was assigned to the last Saturday team. I usually begrudgingly cook/make what I am told to cook, and it is often salad or dessert, based on the idea that the white-girl converts can't cook.
This time, I told the team I would cook the Moroccan soup (harira). It was a hit! People love to break their fast with soup, and it is such a lovely soup to break fast with, and so many of the ladies were shocked that I had cooked it
I had no leftovers to bring home from my 2 huge stockpots. Alhamdulillah. And it was something that everyone liked--from the Bosnians to the Pakistanis.
A dear friend is hosting a girls/ladies henna night for Eid this week, and I am looking forward to taking dd. I have already prepped the food I will bring for the Eid brunch after prayer. I have small gifts for my dh and kids. I am ready for Eid!--even though we are still in the Nights of Qadr.
I hope all my sisters here feel refreshed by this month of mercy, forgiveness and grace, insha-Allah!
Sister, mashallah I am so happy for you. Thank you for sharing your wonderful Ramadan. (I especially like the part about prepping the Eid food early -- lol I could use a little of that energy) It sounds like you have broken through the atmosphere so to speak, out of the muggy air and into the quiet realm of space and peace and God!
This has happened to me in the past. It is the sweetness of this month. And it CAN last all year
if you stay focused inshallah
Now...I said I have experienced this spiritual renewal before in my life, but this year I haven't. And I am desperately craving it...but unfortunately I only got a small taste of it this Ramadan.
In fact, this Ramadan has been much more of a test for me and some other sisters here rather than a relief. One of my good friends is down right praying for Ramadan to come to an end faster -- her husband goes to the mosque every night leaving her with a 2 year old and a 6 month old --- craziness! As for me, my hubby is out of town this last week, and with a toddler all to myself plus nursing while fasting...I'm downright exhausted. And I get so crabby, which makes me feel dissapointed in myself! I'm also sad and upset because I have been dying to wake up to pray in the last 10 nights, and have completely slept through them. I feel spiritually bummed, like I am not strong enough to overcome my nafs to be able to feel the way you are feeling mashallah!
I really wanted my heart to "break" (in a good way) this Ramadan but I haven't cried to God except once during taraweeh. At that moment, I looked to see all the beautiful women praying around me in their beautiful scarves, and as a convert I felt so honored and blessed that God picked me to be among Muslim women. I felt so happy to be one of them, because I used to not be. So I cried then. Just for a moment. Alhamdulillah.
Please please share with me any tips for how you worked to increase your love of the Prophet (s) or how/through what means you feel the veils were lifted from your heart. I only ask this because I am in desperate need of a spiritual transformation and I feel sooooooo STUCK!
In fact, I have felt this way ever since I became a mom. I converted first, then met my husband, then married, then comes the baby in the baby carrage. But since I have had my baby, it seems my life has been about parenting, housework, cooking, chores, and while I try to squeeze in some spirituality, what you are talking about seems, to me, like a distant memory of the past. How can I get back there --- as a mom, wife, etc.???
Thanks a milion, may God bless you, and Love and Happy Eid (to be) to you all.