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Muslim Mamas 2010 - Page 12

post #221 of 227
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Originally Posted by kangamitroo View Post


 

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Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post



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Originally Posted by kangamitroo View Post

lately wrestling a bit:  feeling that, for me, to wear a headscarf outside of prayer feels like vanity—i think it looks so beautiful, and i like how it makes me feel.  but these are not reasons to cover


I disagree with this, really.  But I am not big on considering clothes in any great higher, spiritual sense ... for me a person wearing what pleases them to wear is an excellent reason for their choices of dress.

 

on many days, i am right there with you.  perhaps because this process (of coming to religion, and all that is related to that) still feels very new to me.  that and all of my family and any friends outside the masjid have a very different idea of what looks beautiful.  i have struggled with that over the years in various ways.  it should by now, when i am in my (ahem) 30s, be a non-issue—it is embarrassing to think family/peer pressure can still be so strong.

 

my (nonreligious) dh teases me good naturedly and tells me the scarf is cute.  he is not exactly sure what to make of it, but wants me to be happy.  however, around totally nonreligious friends i have not felt comfortable to wear a scarf—because even if i wore a scarf because i think its beautiful, for nonreligious friends it is perceived as part of my religiosity, and that makes me squirm.  maybe i need to just do it, get it over with, let it become no big deal.

 

that said, clearly all of my overthinking complicates things unnecessarily.  i remember taking a scarf from around my neck, making a loose headband out of it—i loved this for years, even before immersing myself in this faith.  i think i have self-consciousness, because to dress a certain way in the US does give a public religious identity, to an extent.  to say i just like the clothes....that feels like only part of the story.

 

Jo, your story makes sense to me and is a good reminder hat this all an unfolding.  also, i tend to take things too seriously, and need to lighten up on myself!

 

YSM, thanks for your comments.  i understand what you mean, that feeling beautiful when covered is a kind of gift and baraka.
 

tomorrow i can pick up my Arabic cds from the library inshaAllah.  than you all again for the support and friendship here. salaams.



I do understand ... I mean, I keep hanging on this pendulum that has gone from boho chic to all-black ninjette niqabi to at the moment bordering on all the way back to boho chic, covering various shades in between, and while some of that is me just doing what I want to do, an awful lot of it is tied up in how I want to be perceived in particular times/places/circumstances.

 

Since I don't proselytize for religious dress, but I'm generally all too happy to proselytize for feeling good about one's appearance, may I suggest that a lot of more bun-style and other "up-do" headwraps tend to be read in a less religious (and generally entirely non-Islamic) light, and therefore might work without quite the same discomfort?  Because they don't read as "hey, look, Muslim woman, right here!" they also tend to be a little more comfortable to wear one day and skip the next ... there's not that sense of having committed to a thing attached.

post #222 of 227
Quote:

Since I don't proselytize for religious dress, but I'm generally all too happy to proselytize for feeling good about one's appearance, may I suggest that a lot of more bun-style and other "up-do" headwraps tend to be read in a less religious (and generally entirely non-Islamic) light, and therefore might work without quite the same discomfort?  Because they don't read as "hey, look, Muslim woman, right here!" they also tend to be a little more comfortable to wear one day and skip the next ... there's not that sense of having committed to a thing attached.


thank you for this very sensible and clever suggestion, liquesce.

post #223 of 227

happy new year, mamas.  may each of you find much joy in 2011 inshallah.

 

my resolution is to make fajr on time each day in January.  if i can do it for the whole month, maybe i'll make it for the whole year?

post #224 of 227

Salamu Alaykum and Happy New Year, Sisters. love.gif

 

kanga, I like your resolution. I am looking at potentially huge changes ahead for my family...and if not, then likely there will be a series of smaller changes, but either way I think we are, as a family, going to make some changes in our direction toward long-term goals. Because it is nothing but uncertainty right now, I am just trying to accept life as it comes and be calm and accepting, so that I can be the example for my children. Life is an adventure and I married a nomad, so who knows where we'll end up, or if we'll even end up anywhere at all? So I am trying to focus on ensuring good physical health, a tranquil household and peaceful, effective communication within our home.

 

And also stay engaged in dhikr throughout my days, and stay connected to the spiritual expression of my faith.

post #225 of 227

Assalamu Alaikum Mamas:

 

Happy New Year :)

  

 

Should we start a new thread for 2011?

 

I'm hoping that as a family we can spend 5 minutes per day memorizing *or* talking about Qur'an.  Originally, I wanted 5 minutes of each, but I've decided that doing either or would still be good for our family.  

 

I like your plan for fajr Kanga.  It's much easier in the winter too. :)   I seem to remember a quote from a Sufi source (maybe Rumi) about the power of praying fajr on time for 40 days.  

post #226 of 227

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kangamitroo View Post

happy new year, mamas.  may each of you find much joy in 2011 inshallah.

 

my resolution is to make fajr on time each day in January.  if i can do it for the whole month, maybe i'll make it for the whole year?


I love this! Can I steal it?

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1jooj

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 So I am trying to focus on ensuring good physical health, a tranquil household and peaceful, effective communication within our home.

And also stay engaged in dhikr throughout my days, and stay connected to the spiritual expression of my faith.


I also love this. Just the image of good physical health plus a peaceful household makes me feel serene! I, too, am trying to do more dhikr.

 

Another quick thing that we could all try to do is make wudu/have wudu before we go to bed. There is a hadith about this -- that the angels stroke your hair and pray for you while you are asleep if you have wudu. I also believe that your soul can have dreams that are much more in touch with God if your body has wudu.

 

Wishing you all a year filled with baraka and rahma.

 

post #227 of 227

Assalamu Alaikum Mamas:

 

I started a 2011 thread for us at http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1289602/muslim-mamas-2011#post_16163631

 

Inspired by Kanga's goal of praying fajr, I posted the question on what your goals for your deen were for 2011.

 

:)

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