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Muslim Mamas 2010 - Page 5

post #81 of 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nabbe View Post
We have a box in our masjid, where we leave our hijabs (my idea) and take those we like from others. Now people started dropping clothes in that box too lol and books, but thats fine by me hehe....
Oh that's a great idea Nabbe. I'm going to ask the masjid President if I can put a box in the Sister's Lounge/bathroom.

ljooj... That's neat. I wonder if they'd be willing to put in a clothing rack too. I have a few abayas and galabayas that I can't see myself wearing again. I'd love to give them directly to a Sister rather than just hoping some Muslimah finds them at the Goodwill. Actually, a lot of my hijabs are Al-Amirahs... so if they say no to my idea, I'd be glad to mail them to you to donate.
post #82 of 227
I love your generous spirit! And I seriously doubt the president will refuse.
post #83 of 227
Yeah I don't think the Imam should have a problem with it, and it sounds like a good idea. Still here still pregnant and now 41 weeks. I've just started hiding from people because everyone keeps asking when, when, when. And I keep thinking it's not my schedule here folks. This is helping me to work on my patience thats for sure.
post #84 of 227
Thread Starter 
As-salamu 'alaikom~

Since I said somewhere up-thread or in the old thread that I haven't personally heard any good travelling while Muslim stories lately, I would just like to report that for my family this time around it was completely hassle free. Even with carrying way more luggage than could realistically be justified by the length of our trip.

Also? The clothes horse in me is jealous of those of you who have amassed hundreds of scarves.
post #85 of 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
As-salamu 'alaikom~

Since I said somewhere up-thread or in the old thread that I haven't personally heard any good travelling while Muslim stories lately, I would just like to report that for my family this time around it was completely hassle free. Even with carrying way more luggage than could realistically be justified by the length of our trip.

Also? The clothes horse in me is jealous of those of you who have amassed hundreds of scarves.
I'm very glad to hear your trip went better than expected. I hope that your time with family was enjoyable.

as for scarves, the change of season provides me an excuse to browse. I began regularly attending masjid just this winter, and am realizing that most of my appropriate clothes are much to warm for spring. now I am working on the challenge of pulling summer-weight clothes out of thin air....and not spending my skirt $ on scarves.
post #86 of 227
i thought some of you might be interested in this book:

"In her new book, entitled Visibly Muslim: Fashion, Politics, Faith, Emma Tarlo captures the diversity in the way that Islam is practiced against the backdrop of multicultural Britain. Refreshingly, the book did not aim to answer whether or not covering was a part of Islam, and neither did it represent the views of Muslim women as a monolithic body."

rest of the review may be read here
post #87 of 227

first aqiqah

assalamu alaykum ladies,
soon i will be attending my first aqiqah. i am wondering what is customary (if it is even possible to generalize) as a gift. wanting to follow etiquette. i figured i would ask here, in case i am not at the masjid before the date arrives.

thank you.
post #88 of 227
Thread Starter 
Wa 'alaikom as-salam~

I'm not sure there really are traditional gifts (?), or if there are they may be more culture specific than faith wide. (? again though.) Perhaps something for the baby? For my own son's I'm pretty sure most people just brought food or nothing at all, and (no commentary on her, just on the circumstances) I didn't really pay much attention to my daughter's.
post #89 of 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by kangamitroo View Post
assalamu alaykum ladies,
soon i will be attending my first aqiqah. i am wondering what is customary (if it is even possible to generalize) as a gift. wanting to follow etiquette. i figured i would ask here, in case i am not at the masjid before the date arrives.

thank you.
Wa'alaikum Assalam:

At the aqiqahs I've gone to, the good friends of my husband and myself tend to give gifts... usually an outfit or something. Other people ask to make du'a for the baby and for us as parents. I don't know what's typical, though.

Your presence is definitely enough, though.
post #90 of 227
For the alqiqahs I had for my children most people didn't bring anything. Of the people who did bring a gift, it was almost always clothes for the baby and/or a card. My husband did receive some cash from some people which Arabs tend to give for weddings and sometimes the birth of a baby apparently, but I doubt that would be at all expected of you. I just thought I would throw that in there for extra information.

Me personally, I would probably bring a simple gift for the baby (toy, clothes, blanket) or nothing at all. Both would probably be perfectly acceptable.
post #91 of 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
As-salamu 'alaikom~

Since I said somewhere up-thread or in the old thread that I haven't personally heard any good travelling while Muslim stories lately, I would just like to report that for my family this time around it was completely hassle free. Even with carrying way more luggage than could realistically be justified by the length of our trip.

Also? The clothes horse in me is jealous of those of you who have amassed hundreds of scarves.
wa alaikum asslam wa rahmatullah,

Glad you had a good trip. You went to Egypt, right? Did you enjoy it? My husband is also from Egypt.

For my flying story it went okay. I had to be patted down both times after the metal detector because my clothing was loose. The first time they also swabbed my hands for explosives. While waiting for the female security guard a male guard did make a comment to another guard he shouldn't have. They also selected my husband and I for a "random check" right before boarding the plan in front of all of the passengers getting on. I actually didn't mind that because one of my fears was all the passengers being freaked out by us so at least this way they already saw us get patted down before their eyes....

The return flight was very nice and no hassles.
post #92 of 227
Wow, reading about the pat-downs gave me a mini anxiety attack. I'm getting the kids their new passports this weekend, and just starting to stress about the trip we're trying to plan. Ah, well. No sense in wasting energy.

For aqiqas, I like to buy outfits for baby, usually something for a bigger size, like 9 or 12 months. Like the other sisters have posted, though, not everyone gives (or expects) gifts.
post #93 of 227
They might be more relaxed about international flights if you are in an area where there are a lot of Muslims flying back and forth to their home countries. They are used to that and so used to Muslims and Islamic dress.

We flew from a very major airport, but it was a domestic flight. Actually the comment the gaurd made which I referred to in my previous post was "This isn't terminal 5. We do things right." Terminal five is the international terminal.
post #94 of 227
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by chimomma View Post
wa alaikum asslam wa rahmatullah,

Glad you had a good trip. You went to Egypt, right? Did you enjoy it? My husband is also from Egypt.

For my flying story it went okay. I had to be patted down both times after the metal detector because my clothing was loose. The first time they also swabbed my hands for explosives. While waiting for the female security guard a male guard did make a comment to another guard he shouldn't have. They also selected my husband and I for a "random check" right before boarding the plan in front of all of the passengers getting on. I actually didn't mind that because one of my fears was all the passengers being freaked out by us so at least this way they already saw us get patted down before their eyes....

The return flight was very nice and no hassles.
Yes ... Alexandria. It was just a domestic kind of trip though, not really one for going out and about much, and I have a bit of a history there which made the whole matter of being there a bit awkward ........ but all things considered it went well enough.

1jooj, the airport was really a breeze for us. I think part of it was, like chimomma said, that it was an international flight, and also I think having kids crawling all over us kind of put a dent in any inclination to profile. But there was no being selected out for additional screening, no pat-downs, no poking around in our bags, and while they did test my water to make sure it was water, on the other hand they also let me through with it in the first place.

I suppose you never can know what to expect, but I was really pleased all around this time.
post #95 of 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by kangamitroo View Post
assalamu alaykum ladies,
soon i will be attending my first aqiqah. i am wondering what is customary (if it is even possible to generalize) as a gift. wanting to follow etiquette. i figured i would ask here, in case i am not at the masjid before the date arrives.

thank you.
At my son's, people gave cash. I was suprised really because DH would bring him back to me from the men's section, and my baby would have money hanging out of his baby pockets and baby hands.
I always give cash because never know what they need, and they may even need to buy food for the family or something like that.
post #96 of 227
Salam,
I am wonderring if any of you could tell me how you feel about things like dance classes for kids. My kids have been taking dance for a year or so, and 2 show real talent, but of course dance is frowned upon in Islam. So, I feel like I am at a loss as to what to do as my kids get older. I have talked to other sisters who have kids in dance classes and they say they plan on taking their kids out when they get older, but if the kid has real talent, isn't that a gift from Allah? Shouldn't we be encouraging these gifts? This is also complicated by the fact that the child who shows the most talent is a boy, which means he would have lots more male/female interactions than are generally considerred Islamically acceptable. I am not particularly scrict in terms of Islamic rules, I don't cover my hair, I have been entirely too lax on prayer, etc, but I am working on it. What are your thoughts on this?

Another stupid question, how do you feel about sisters who cover part time, like some days covered, and some not? I do this, but I feel weird about it. For whatever reason, (probably lack of family support) I just can't seem to fully commit. I feel like I am being playing dress up when I cover, but feel ashamed to even say salam to fellow sisters when I don't. maybe i sm overthinking things, but how would you feel about a sister who only covered sometimes, and how did you decide to cover full time or feel okay about not coverring?

one more thing, lol, can anyone recommend any daily devotion type books?
post #97 of 227
Wa'alaikum Assalam:

What type of dance do your kids like? If it were me, I'd probably try and introduce them to tap dance (especially my son)--as the outfits are usually more modest, and it's not like they're partnered up like ballroom or ballet (although for ballet, partnering usually doesn't occur until the late teens.)

Honestly, kids interests change so quickly--that I would probably encourage them to pursue whatever talents they are. I would also trust that should the need arise, I could make adjustments to make things more modest and Islamically acceptable.

As for part-time covering... not covering... or full-time covering for that matter, to me it's all between a Sister and Allah(swt). I think anybody who goes through the hassles of wearing hijab anytime in the West deserves my respect. Even if you're just covering on Fridays on the way to the masjid, you can still get a lot of grief...and you're still being visibly Muslim. Something that guys usually do not have to deal with. I remember a long long time ago... I want to say in 1999 or 2000... I was on the metro in DC and saw a teenage/young 20s sister wearing hijab and she had short sleeves on as well. I remember thinking at first... (and get this, I don't think I was covering at the time)... "Oh, she shouldn't be wearing hijab and short sleeves..." And then it hit me, to every single other person on that train, she was proclaiming that she was a Muslim...and proud to be so. It was a form of dawa. I had no right whatsoever to judge her... and I really think I have no right to judge any Muslim. Everybody has different things that they struggle with... some things are visible to the outside... others are not.
post #98 of 227
Thread Starter 
I would not start children in a class with the intentions of telling them at a certain age they're no longer permitted to participate. It seems as though parents taking that course of action aren't really considering the likely feelings of their kids should it turn out to be something they enjoy, an activity through which they make friends, etc. There are other activities out there from which to choose.

That said, I probably wouldn't stick my kids in dance classes just randomly, but if they asked I wouldn't refuse. There are a lot of kinds of dance out there, a lot of ways of participating in dance, and when a child comes of age if they prefer adhere to rules of gender segregation doing so would not be a death blow to continued participation in dance. A male dancer is probably never going to be a professional ballet dancer without physical interaction with women, but he might well succeed in modern dance, various ethnic dances, hip hop or breakdance forms, etc, etc, etc. It would just be up to them to set their own priorities and follow their heart at that point. (One of my own friends is a -- Muslim -- African tribal dance instructor. I don't know if he does mixed gender classes or not, but I do know he doesn't have any great perception of conflict between what he believes and what he does.)
post #99 of 227
Thread Starter 
P.S. - For books, I like The Accepted Whispers, personally.
post #100 of 227
Thread Starter 
As-salamu 'alaikom~

I was just googling around for different perspectives on family planning in Islam, and came across this brief old NYT article on the subject in Iran, which I found interesting. (Or rather I find the entire theocratic system in Iran interesting, but since FP is the subject I was on I thought it made for a interesting little window.)
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