Would this even hit your radar?

[SunshineJ]

When we moved to WI, my dad and his wife kept the kids for 4 days during the whole move, transition and setup. They were taken aback by the way we do a few things (yeah what else is new, things have changed over the past 35 yrs!) and have accused me of ruining the kids and not allowing them to grow up. One of the main points of contention? Bathroom habits. Seriously.

DD is 5 yrs old, DS is 7. Now, before I go further, they are fully capable of and regularly use full size toilets outside the home with no difficulty. In other people's homes, school (not sure those are "full size" exactly), out and about, etc. But at home, DS still prefers to have the cushioned ring on the toilet if he's going to be there a while. DD still prefers to use the potty chair. She doesn't always, but does fairly regularly. Since there is NO problem or issue whatsoever with the normal use of facilities elsewhere, would this even hit your radar as a problem? It's the same with the flushable wipes. The kids prefer them to clean up with but can and will use toilet paper without issue. I personally have a "preferred" bathroom in the house, always have had. And I'm sure if you were to conduct a blind poll, there would be some who would say they prefer to have the cushioned toilet seats in their homes. However, I also don't know how "everyone else" does it, so would this be an issue you would feel needed to be addressed?

[zeldamomma]

I don't think it's in anyway detrimental, but if I was watching someone's 5 year old, I'd be unhappy to have to deal with a potty-chair. I hate having to empty and clean them, and prefer to have kids going directly into the toilet as soon as they are able. Generally, I think of potty-chairs as something for kids 3 and under.

The potty ring thing wouldn't be a big deal as long as he's not too big for it (my 7 year old isn't that big, but I think she's too big to use the potty ring we have, and "stuff" might get on it when she used it).

So, to answer your question, the potty-chair thing would hit my radar, but I don't think it's harmful, just extra icky work for the person who is watching your child.

[Anastasiya]

I agree with the PP - a potty chair for a 5 year old? Not here! I'm not going to be cleaning that thing!!!

The cushion? If he wants it, why not find him a regular sized cushioned seat so Grandpa can put it on the toilet for him? I agree that cushions are more comfy, though I won't buy them because they seem too unsanitary to me.

Wipes? That's all we use. Toilet paper is a rare thing here, so I have no issue with the wipes. It's easier to get cleaner that way, and how can that be a bad thing?

[redpajama]

Personally, both seem a little weird to me, but...whatever. I don't think you're "ruining" your kids or anything ridiculous like that--maybe just indulging some sort of weird habits...especially the potty chair thing.

Does your daughter clean up after herself with the potty chair? My daughter went through a brief potty-chair phase after her baby sister was born (don't ask ) when she was 2.75 years, and after peeing in it (which she did, maybe, 2-3 times) she would empty it into the toilet, wipe, flush, and pull her pants back up. She was really just making a lot of extra work for herself, and I suspect that's why she tired of it so quickly.

Anyway, to answer your question, I do happen to think your kids bathroom habits are rather strange, but I don't think you're doing any particular harm by indulging them, as long as they use normal toilets outside your home without issue.

[SunshineJ]

Point of clarification: dd doesn't expect to use a potty chair at gramps' house, nor do they expect or ask to use the ring. Most of the time (something like 90%) she cleans it herself unless she's just in the middle of something and forgets. What started this whole thing was when they were with my dad and I had forgotten to pack the wipes. DS asked me to mention it to dad, which I did, and I guess he went on a tear about how they can damn well use tp at their age and then I heard all about the whole thing. The kids weren't unwilling to use tp, ds had just asked me if it would be possible to have that there and I passed it on thinking they'd be willing to pick some up as I don't know, a courtesy for the kids since their whole lives were being upheaved and that's what they were used to? Due to other issues that occured, they won't be staying with dad without DH or I for probably another 5 yrs or so, but this did get me wondering if it's that far outside of normal that it may be detrimental.

[mamazee]

I wouldn't want my 5-year-old using a potty chair, but otherwise I wouldn't care about the rest. Well, I can't imagine my 7-year-old needing a ring but that isn't a big deal since there's no mess involved. My 7-year-old likes the wet flushable wipes too, though she doesn't use them all the time.

[staceychev]

My DH likes the wet, flushable wipes...

But I agree with previous sentiments about the potty chair and the ring. I also have to say that what does hit my radar is that they want to keep using these things. My DD (4.5) regularly makes sweeping judgments about things that she considers "babyish," and stopped using the ring about six months ago and was never a fan of the potty seat. Do I think it's detrimental to your kids that they're still using them? No, not at all. Do I think it's a little odd? Gently, yes.

[Alyantavid]

If I had to clean up the potty chair, yeah that would bother me. Whatever you do with your kids is your business, but if somebody else is caring for them, then that will affect them as well.

But we also never used potty chairs or the rings and I really can't imagine my 7 year old wanting to use either.

[bnhmama]

Wouldn't hit my radar in the slightest. Especially since they don't expect to use the potty chair/ring outside your own home. Personally, I never liked the potty chair so I wouldn't enjoy that aspect but it's not like you were asking them to do that their home so I'm not getting what the big deal is. Then again, I get a lot of flack that my almost 7 year old likes to sit down to pee.

And I'd be pretty upset that your dad threw a tantrum over the use of toilet paper vs. wipes. Really? It's THAT serious? My dad is like that which is precisely why my son has never stayed with them.

[limabean]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

Point of clarification: dd doesn't expect to use a potty chair at gramps' house, nor do they expect or ask to use the ring. Most of the time (something like 90%) she cleans it herself unless she's just in the middle of something and forgets. What started this whole thing was when they were with my dad and I had forgotten to pack the wipes. DS asked me to mention it to dad, which I did, and I guess he went on a tear about how they can damn well use tp at their age and then I heard all about the whole thing. The kids weren't unwilling to use tp, ds had just asked me if it would be possible to have that there and I passed it on thinking they'd be willing to pick some up as I don't know, a courtesy for the kids since their whole lives were being upheaved and that's what they were used to? Due to other issues that occured, they won't be staying with dad without DH or I for probably another 5 yrs or so, but this did get me wondering if it's that far outside of normal that it may be detrimental.

So the only potty issue your dad had to deal with was the flushable wipes? I would just explain to him that those aren't age-related at all, many many adults use them too, it's just a preference thing. The only reason that using plain TP is considered the "normal" way in the U.S. is because until recently it was all that was available. Does he think it's babyish for Europeans to have bidets in their bathrooms?

[laohaire]

Wouldn't hit my radar.

We (happily) transitioned DD from the potty chair to a child-sized potty seat (so she doesn't fall into the toilet... she's really little, and also needs a stool to get up on the toilet). I didn't want to deal with cleaning out the potty anymore. But it wouldn't WORRY me or anything. And I imagine DD will be using her potty seat (on the regular toilet) for quite some time to come.

[meemee]

no not at all. wouldnt hit my radar. however i am also the mom who is still wiping her 7 year olds bottom who is capable of doing it on her own. <shrug> to each his own.

in fact i think its a v. healthy thing. your children know that mommy will support them and go against the norm to be there for her children. come on its just a potty chair.

i wonder what your dad would say if he knew i still feed my dd. she loves it when i spoon feed her. of course she is fully capable of feeding herself but she loves it when i do it sometimes.

[mamatoablessing]

The potty chair would hit my radar only if the child insisted on using it 100% time. But if your daughter is comfortable using a regular commode at someone else's house or in public, I think it's fine. Oh, and also if I didn't have to clean it.

As for the cushion? Heck, I'd use one if there was one made big enough for my backside. I mean, what's the big deal?

And wipes? Has you dad ever seen a small child try to wipe their butt after a #2? I think the flushable wipes are fine at this age and even necessary. I certainly don't need to be making sure my 7 yo has a clean butt-the wipes let them do it themselves.

Heck, my brother in law who is almost 30, uses flushable wipes!

[Pepper44]

My 3 year old DD still wants to use her old potty chair, but I tell her no because I don't want to clean it.

I don't think it's that strange for a 5 year old to want to use one as long as they can use a regular toilet too. Every kid has quirks and preferences!

The cushy seat shouldn't be a big deal either, after all they make adult sized ones for when he outgrows the kiddie one...

The (completely developmentally normal) 5 year old down the street from us still prefers to wear diapers. I think I would draw the line there.

[zinemama]

That would definitely hit my radar. I would expect a 5yo to use a regular toilet and wipe herself. No way would I be willing to clean up a potty chair every day in my home.

[PuppyFluffer]

I've not read any of the replies beyond the OP.

I don't think you have any issues here that need to be addressed. We live in a culture that has little respect or regard for children and their perceptions or desires, let alone their genuine needs. I am sure your children will move beyond smaller potty seats/chairs and cushions when they are don't want them anymore. I think that accomodating their desire in this area is appropriate and sensitive to their smaller stature.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Well, let's see...

I enjoy the flushable wipes myself...leaves a nice "fresh" feeling.

I still occasionally wipe my DS's hiney (he's 5yo), but when I'm not around he's perfectly capable and willing to do it himself.

DS would love a padded ring seat. C'mon, their hineys are so small and they have to hold themselves up to eliminate....would you like it if you had to do that all the time?

I can understand why your DD enjoys her potty seat...see previous statement. A nice little potty that your hiney fits on perfectly??
And if you and she are fine cleaning it then who's to tell you to do otherwise?

I don't think you have any issues here that need to be addressed. We live in a culture that has little respect or regard for children and their perceptions or desires, let alone their genuine needs. I am sure your children will move beyond smaller potty seats/chairs and cushions when they are don't want them anymore. I think that accomodating their desire in this area is appropriate and sensitive to their smaller stature.

Yeah. That. They are just smaller people who have needs and desires just like you and me.

[eclipse]

I wouldn't care about the potty chair if I didn't have to clean it (ds2 turned 4 in september and would still be using it if I hadn't pushed the issue. He's been out of diapers for over two years, he just liked to make himself comfy on the little seat - he didn't clean it, though, so i put a stop to it!), I see nothing wrong with the ring if it makes it comfy for him, and I frequenly use wipes on myself after a #2. So no, nothing sets off my radar other than your dad's temper tantrum.

[pauletoy]

The flushable wipes clog our toilet. Was it possible he was concerned about that? If not, I don't know why he would care.

[metis]

A 5yo using a potty chair would hit my radar...it's kinda odd, and messy, and so much more work...and sorta ewww when it's a 5yo who can use a toilet!

The ring seems a little unsanitary, but meh, if he likes it