Is it really supposed to be this way?

[LCB]

Really?? My DD (16 mo) is a bad sleeper. We cosleep, she nurses frequently through the night, etc. etc. etc. I can't help myself from thinking....it just seems like it's not supposed to be this way. Am I really supposed to be exhausted and miserable? Am I really supposed to dread nighttime? Am I really supposed to dread having another child? Shouldn't this be fun????

[LadyCatherine185]

Mama. I often wonder the same thing.

[Maluhia]

each person has their own patterns and your DD's patterns are apparently tough vs. your fully grown adult pattern. Remember, these years will pass and you'll look back with love at the years when you got so many cuddles with your sweetheart.

[Kirsten]

My kids (all three of them) each slept awful if they were close enough to smell milk when they came to light periods of sleep. We didn't cosleep but did use a bassinette in our room for the first three months for each of them. Lots of waking and lots of nursing and tired parents. At three months each was moved to a crib in her own room. We all slept better. I don't usually come to this section of the boards but saw under new posts - and no, it isn't always fun but you shouldn't dread something that happens every day.

If what you are doing isn't working, try something different. It isn't only cosleeping or CIO. There are middle ground options.

[philomom]

Honestly, I had one that could not sleep in the bed with us. I tried and tried but none of us slept. I moved her into her own little crib nearby and we all slept 6 hours straight.

The other child was a sleeper who needed to have the physical touch. He slept with us a long time.

I think if you are "honoring" your small one's personality in this sleep thing, its okay.

[Italiamom]

Originally Posted by Kirsten

If what you are doing isn't working, try something different. It isn't only cosleeping or CIO. There are middle ground options.

Very well said. It's one thing to be miserable for a few months while LOs go through developmental stages. Every child has periods of rough sleep. But if your feelings are a longstanding pattern then try something new. What do you have to lose!? Worse comes to worse, you end up going back to your current arrangement. And new doesn't have to mean CIO in another room!

[rzberrymom]

I SOOO know what you mean about dreading having another child--my DD was an atrocious sleeper, and I often had trouble with the thought of going through that again (and it took me almost 5 years to be ready to have another one!) But, my second DD is completely different--easy as pie at night, sleeps through the night, naps like a dream. Don't be afraid of the next one--all kids are different when it comes to sleep and it may be a completely different experience next time (it definitely has been for us).

[s_kristina]

Sleep or lack of it for me is a big part of the reason my oldest 2 are close to 4 years apart. My dd will be 8 in 2 weeks and now needs less sleep a night than I need! She spent the fist 2.5 years of her life nursing every 1.5-2 hours around the clock. Trying to have her in a bedside sleeper or another room in a different bed did not change her waking pattern. My boys have thankfully have very different sleep patterns, but the sleep deprivation when dd was little has had a lasting negative effect on my mental status. If my dh had not been working on the road or someone had been around to watch her while I napped things may have been different.

[LCB]

Thank you everyone for your replies. It's great to hear that other people have the same issues and that I'm not the only one. I keep getting advice from other moms to try various methods and things and I just can't quite seem to communicate the fact that nothing works. She just likes to be awake. So thanks...it's nice to feel like I'm not alone.

[Drummer's Wife]

I hope it gets better for you. I agree that some LO's just don't like to co-sleep, or that being in bed w/mama makes them more restless, wake often, and nurse more frequently than if they were in their own room (or even own bed in their parents room). One of mine was like that for a while, so I followed his lead (he ended up back in our bed later on, though). I do think that there are also LO's, who even at 16 mos., wake up frequently to nurse or for comfort regardles of where they are sleeping - so if this is your DD's case, it might be easier that you are right there and don't have to fully awake yourself to nurse her back to sleep. Beats having to wake up and walk down the hall way, etc. I got really good at falling back asleep while nursing, even when I was tandeming for what seemed like all. night. long. Granted, I didn't get the best sleep, and I am a light sleeper as is -- but what got me through the harder times was knowing that it wouldn't be forever. Just a couple/few short years while they are little and need/want you at night. My older 3 kids now sleep through the night fine, and not in our bed... and it won't be long until our youngest is in his own room full-time and I can sleep more soundly. Hang in there.

[sunfish21]

It can be so hard! I recently night-weaned DD (21 mos) and instead of waking up 3-4 times a night she now wakes maybe once...they are all different but I had to make a change; I was going crazy! She hasn't been a good sleeper ever--now bedtime is our struggle. I am 7 mos pregnant and do believe that each child is different, and maybe this next one will sleep better. I would do anything I could to nap whenever you can...life is just harder when a person is so exhauted.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by Italiamom

Very well said. It's one thing to be miserable for a few months while LOs go through developmental stages. Every child has periods of rough sleep. But if your feelings are a longstanding pattern then try something new. What do you have to lose!? Worse comes to worse, you end up going back to your current arrangement. And new doesn't have to mean CIO in another room!

Please, share what "other" methods you and other PP's are reffering to. Because we have tried everything under the sun, and the only way we get the MOST sleep is bedsharing and side-nursing through the night....

[LCB]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

Please, share what "other" methods you and other PP's are reffering to. Because we have tried everything under the sun, and the only way we get the MOST sleep is bedsharing and side-nursing through the night....

you too, huh? it's so hard isn't it.

[RockStarMom]

It will get better! I wish I had a magic solution for you, but I never found one--I just had to accept that having a baby is not all bunnies and rainbows. My daughter is 4 now and those long, sleepless nights are just a distant memory. I promise it will get better!

[justKate]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

Please, share what "other" methods you and other PP's are reffering to. Because we have tried everything under the sun, and the only way we get the MOST sleep is bedsharing and side-nursing through the night....

[almadianna]

Is it supposed to be this way? Well for some kids yes it is, I learned that trying to make things different just led to exhaustion and tears on my part... but not all kids are like this and it does not last forever.

My second is nothing like this, it is almost like the universe gave me a break because of my first.