Ideas for first b-day party

[haurelia]

Hi all!
I'm sure this isn't the first thread about a 1 year old's birthday, but I wanted to get some feedback about my party thoughts.
DS is turning one in about a month.
We want to have a family party, with maybe a few close family friends. I'm thinking about 25-30 folks will be invited (mostly adults, and a handful of kids aged 2-8). I'm just going to send Evites to save some paper. We're not planning to have any specific "theme" and will just use our own dishes, silverware, etc. I may have to get some paper plates as backup, or get some cheap dishes at the thrift store. I'm going to make him a crown out of felt and forgo any balloons or disposable decorations. Any ideas on decorations that are re-usable?

Food wise, I'm thinking about just making a big crock-pot of sloppy joes. We try to follow traditional foods eating, and this is one I can make TF friendly with some spouted buns and our pastured beef. An alternative would be chili with corn muffins. Homemade hummus with veggies and pita to dip, maybe some cheese and crackers. I'm going to make mulled apple cider, I think, and just have that in one of those big coffee urns for folks to drink rather than soda, and maybe a pitcher of lemonade or juice for the kiddos, along with water of course. I'm planning to do a carrot cake, with a small version for DS in case he's interested in smashing.

Because he got SO MUCH stuff as Christmas gifts from his grandparents, I'm toying with the idea of "no gifts" on the invite. While most of the gifts he got for xmas were chosen with some of our preferences in mind (wood toys, books), some were plastic monstrosities and polyester clothes. He has more toys now than he'll actually play with (he prefers pots, lids and my whisk). Is is rude to ask for no gifts? Will folks just bring stuff anyway? What about putting something along the lines of "no gifts are expected, but please feel free to hand down kid stuff that you're finished using"?
I'd love a second Britax car seat for DH's vehicle, and a long underwear suit for the boy in a natural fiber, but I'm hoping that the g-parents will check in for gifting outside of the party. I know, it seems petty, but the stuff cannot take over our tiny house!

Thanks for reading my long post...what do you think?

[haurelia]

Wow, 18 views and not even one response? Even "sounds good" or "sounds bad?"
The crickets are singing pretty loud over here!

[Bea]

I think it sounds a little overwhelming for a 12 month old. That's a lot of people and a lot attention aimed at one little person.

Is he good with crowds?

[Lacrymosa]

Wow! That's quite a party for a 1 year old! It all sounds good to me... I don't think it's rude to say no gifts. If people want to bring gifts they can but then they know they aren't obligated to do so. You could say something like gifts are optional..

[Ruthla]

I never did the "first birthday parties" at all with my kids.

My mom threw a b-day party for DD1 and it didn't go over so well. I'd come into town for Thanksgiving weekend (her birthday is about a week later) and my mom got a cake and everything. But the party was on Sunday afternoon, and DD was ready for her nap by the time everybody arrived and they were ready to serve the cake. (The mistake was waiting for a specific cousin who couldn't come until later, rather than going by DD's nap schedule and letting the cousin arrive late.) All total, I think we had about a dozen people there, including 3 other kids (2 toddlers and a grade schooler.)

She did OK with the crowd, but she really didn't know the difference either way. When DD2 turned 1, we just had the local grandparents over for cake with "just us", and we did the same thing with DS (only that we'd moved from MD to NY and the "local" grandparents were mine, not his.) The grandparents bought the same gifts either way.

Another first birthday party I attended was the birthday boy, his mom, and 3 other toddler/mom pairs (the dads and older siblings were all at work or school.) That was a fun party for the babies. And another one I went to was a catered affaire for about 100 people- I didn't even get to see the birthday girl at all during the party, so I have no clue if she did OK with that or not. That party was obviously for the parents, not the baby, and probably cost more than my wedding!

[haurelia]

Good point on the number of guests...we'll likely be inviting the grandparents, aunts and uncles and their kiddos, most of whom are local (we have 2 sibs each, all with spouses and kids, and 6 grandparents when you add in the step-grandparents).
He's fine with big crowds of them, or at least, he was doing well over the Christmas parties/visits. But, all the attention toward him was rather diffuse as compared to what I imagine it would be at his birthday party.

It doesn't seem like a big party to me, as it would just be food out on the counter, and singing a birthday song, eating cake, etc. in an open-house type setting; no games, events, or whatever. I guess we're rather used to big family things, just given each of our large family gatherings for b-days and holidays. It's also really common in our family to have 1st bday parties; usually they're just family and low-key hanging out. Maybe I'm just going with the family norm...I never thought about not having a party!
I agree, they're definitely not for the kid, but for the family.

Thanks for the feedback.

[tracymom1]

When DS turned one, we had a big party. It was late summer so we could set up some tables outside and everyone just roamed about. I am not sure I would want to have 25-30 people in my house for a one year birthday party, though. DS was definitely overwhelmed at the party and I had to wear him the whole time to keep him happy. His 2nd birthday was much more fun for him!!

As far as gifts go, I have found that it can be quite difficult to stop people from buying things. Gift-giving is something that makes people feel good - the one time I said "no gifts" I got a lot of flack for it because its what people WANTED to do. Maybe you could just try to have the grandparents or aunts "spread the word" about some things you would like to receive so everyone has a good understanding of what might be a welcome gift.

Good luck with the planning!

[GreenGranolaMama]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

And another one I went to was a catered affaire for about 100 people- I didn't even get to see the birthday girl at all during the party, so I have no clue if she did OK with that or not. That party was obviously for the parents, not the baby, and probably cost more than my wedding!

Woah, that's quite the party! I've already been thinking about what we might do... mostly because I got a cupcake cookbook for Christmas and can't wait to make monster cupcakes...so I am thinking the theme will be monsters and we will have a few friends (most of our friends have babies around the same age as DS) and family

[violets8]

we rented a community center and had 45 guests and about 10 kids of varying ages. We also did my sons universal baptism as part of the party. we set up a corner with toys so the kiddos could play. you are smart to keep the food simple we did this as well. we also used evites to save on paper as well. it was a blast and orion did well but man he was so tired when the fun was done. i would suggest that if people do bring gifts have a gift table and open them after the party that way the focus stays as intended and not on gifts. have fun takes lots of pictures you and your baby deserve a party. surviving the first year is a big deal. having a baby is wonderful but it is hard work. celebrate you and your sweet baby! congrats mama! My tradition is to take a shot or to have a glass of wine at the time my son was born!

[Carhootel]

I'm starting to think about my ds's upcoming birthday as well so I'll be subbing to this. Just a note about decorations.. I'm also making a little felt crown for ds and I'm also sewing a few of this style banners, and one says 'Happy Birthday'

If you felt, I'm amazed with these banners

[lotus.blossom]

Sounds like my ds1's first birthday! My family is a crowd when we get together. 25-30 people. His second birthday ended up being just a little friend party. But why not go all out!? The food sounds great. The no decorations sounds great! We did balloons though because he LOVES them and used them for a long time afterwards (the ones he didn't pop anyway)

The gift thing: You may want to hold off on telling people not to. Gifts optional is a nice way of putting it, but no gifts would be rude, IMO. He'll most likely be excited to open presents and if you are lucky you can take them, box them up and put them away. Maybe get them out later on when you need something new to entertain him. I found that my DS didn't really get into toys till this year at 3.

Goodluck and have fun!

[Hoopin' Mama]

The food sounds great!

We had about 25-30 guests for ds' 1st birthday. It started at 5 and we served food and cake, and actually I fully anticipated people staying late into the evening. I put ds to bed at about 7:30. It went great.

On the invite, instead of gifts I requested everyone bring a small item to put in a time capsule to be opened on ds' 18th birthday. I worded it very politely. People brought really fun things.