Music lessons question

[PGTlatte]

Do you sit in on your child's music lessons ?

Our 6.5 yo will be starting violin lessons as soon as I get him set up with an instructor. Since he is homeschooled, we could do this during the day, and that is what I want, because the evenings are already set up to be pretty busy through the winter, and once baseball starts in the spring, our evening/weekend schedule will be very unpredictable anyway (different every week for two months) and that would not work well for regularly scheduled, prepaid evening or weekend music lessons. So, daytime lessons...

I will have to have his 4 yo little brother with me. I do not have any childcare available for him. If I have to sit in on the lessons, I am concerned that the 4 yo will disrupt them.

When I was taking lessons as a child, I was dropped off in the driveway and picked up after the lesson. I realize probably nobody does that these days. I know I will need to at least be on the premises with him. But do I need to be in the room the whole time ? I would like to be able to step out with DS2 if he is being disruptive.

Also - when I was taking lessons of any kind - I would not have wanted my parents around. I was extremely independent and didn't want them involved in the process. I liked that it was my own thing. Also when I'm around my mom I feel all locked down, always have, and I would never have been able to focus in a lesson if she had been there. Are there still kids like that today ?

I am feeling really stressed out about how I am going to fit this into our schedule, and manage our younger child so the older one can have his lesson. The idea that I might have to be in the room every minute of every lesson.....uh...I don't know if I can swing that.

I came back to add - 4 yo is pretty wild. There is not much that keeps him settled down.

[jake&zaxmom]

I stay for my homeschooled 9.5 year old's piano lesson but his teacher and I grew up together and both her and my son want me there. Since September, my younger son (6.5) has been taking lessons too but before that I took him with me often. I made sure that he had a snack and something quiet to do. I *did* take him out if he was distracting. I also help wrangle the piano teacher's 11 month old from time to time.

Another benefit is that I am hearing her instructions to him and his assignments and can remind him,"Remember? Ms. Julie said..."

[noobmom]

When I took piano lessons, the teacher had a separate room where parents and siblings could wait (esp since with multiple kids you often have back-to-back lessons). There were no toys in there, but there the door was shut to block out some of the noise.

In your case, if your 4 yo is very active/noisy, I'd probably wait in the car in the driveway. I don't think you'll have enough time to go anywhere since lessons at that age are usually 30 minutes or less.

[kristenok18]

My ds will be starting violin next week, and I'm not sure how his teacher will do things. However, he is taking piano right now, and the lessons are parent-free for 3 weeks, then the parents sit in on the 4th week. It's important to show the parents what new things are happening, and find out technique issues to watch for (especially if the parent does not play themselves).

[lindberg99]

Unless you're doing Suzuki (where I think parents are required to stay at lessons), I don't think the teacher will care if you leave. Given your younger child, he might prefer it. Younger siblings can be pretty distracting!

My 2 older kids were taking piano back to back, so one hour total, and my youngest was 4 at the time and not the quietest child. Their teacher was a former elem. music teacher and she seemed to have a realy high tolerance for kids, which was a big plus! I would either sit there and play a game with him or take him outside if it was nice. Sometimes we would run to the store or something but like someone said, I can't see doing that for 30 min.

When just my oldest was taking lessons (from a diff teacher), my two younger ones were 5 and 1. We would either walk up to the rec center, hang out for 15 - 20 min and then walk back or else wait in the car/front yard. 30 min really isn't that long.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Can you find a teacher that will come to you? My DS's guitar lessons take place inour living room -- we all stay in other parts of the house to give them space and quiet, but it doesn't disrupt our lives and your younger child could play or whatever. Also since I am "around" I don't fear anything inappropriate happening. Not that I would -- this is a good friend of ours, but I might if it were a strange teacher.

[pianojazzgirl]

My 5 yr old dd has been taking Suzuki violin lessons since Sept. It's part of the Suzuki method that parents participate in the lesson, so yes, we do go to the lesson with her (actually it's dh who goes with her). I also have a wild 2 yr old and can't imagine having to bring him to the lesson. If I did because of an emergency or something I'd probably bring our portable DVD player and pop in a movie. Not necessarily something I'd want to do every week, and of course this wouldn't even guarantee that he'd stay quiet the whole time (in fact I guarantee that he wouldn't stay quiet the whole time!).

I also taught piano lessons for years and never had the parents stay for the lessons - but then again I went to their houses so it wasn't really necessary.

It's a bit of a tough call IMO. Seeing dd learning violin I can see how important reinforcing proper technique is, and for that reason I feel it's really valuable for dh to be at the lessons. However, if you're just going to be distracted and stressed out keeping the little one from going nuts then it would probably be better to just drop your ds off. And I imagine if it's not the Suzuki method then the teacher would be accustomed to teaching the kids without the parents present. I guess it's something to ask when you're phoning around looking for a teacher.

[PGTlatte]

Thank you all !!!

Here is what I've done: I decided I really don't want to have to manage our 4 yo, and I do want to be there for the lessons, and I want my own lesson as well. So......swimming was going to be Tuesdays and Thursdays at 4 pm. I have moved swimming to Saturday mornings. The swimming term will be over before baseball begins, so no conflict there. Freeing up two late afternoons will make it much easier to schedule violin as an early evening activity, so I can leave DS2 home with DH sometime after 5 pm and not be stressed and distracted by him. I also want to be able to have my own lesson, so now if I can find a teacher who can do back to back lessons starting at 6 pm, that will work. The only downside is with baseball, if there is a game on the evening we have violin, he will have to miss that game. But they play two games a week (one weeknight, one Saturday) for 2.5 months, and it does get to be baseball overload, so missing a game every once in a while is not that bad.

I was watching strings videos on youtube last night, and I'm excited to start learning this ! So hopefully it will all be worked out soon

[ebethmom]

That sounds like a great plan! Have you looked on the Suzuki Association website for a teacher? www.suzukiassociation.org There is a teacher locater feature. Not every teacher is listed, only those who request the service.