S/O bodily integrity/consenting to altering your child - Page 5

[MissRubyandKen]

OP- I was googling ear deformities because I was curious what it may look like and apparently my dd's ears could be considered deformed. They call it lop ear deformity. And there is cosmetic surgery to correct it done under GA. I seriously never would have never thought to consider it a deformity. I've always thought of them as elfin ears . Here are some older pics of her 1 2 3 4. Here are some more recent pics of her now that she has some hair 1 2 3 4.

I have to say, no way, no how would I consider surgery for her. Not saying others are wrong for doing so, but I absolutely would not. According to the sites I was looking at, the optimal age for cosmetic surgery of the ear for this would be 5. The ears are done growing and it is before the age most children would encounter teasing, they say. It made me aware of the flip side of the teasing issue that is brought up. It would need to be approached very delicately I think if surgery was done. I would be very mindful of the message cosmetic surgery could send to a kid this age if they were aware of the reason for altering their appearance was for societal reasons.

[lovemybubus]

Originally Posted by MissRubyandKen

OP- I was googling ear deformities because I was curious what it may look like and apparently my dd's ears could be considered deformed. They call it lop ear deformity. And there is cosmetic surgery to correct it done under GA. I seriously never would have never thought to consider it a deformity. I've always thought of them as elfin ears . Here are some older pics of her 1 2 3 4. Here are some more recent pics of her now that she has some hair 1 2 3 4.

I have to say, no way, no how would I consider surgery for her. Not saying others are wrong for doing so, but I absolutely would not. According to the sites I was looking at, the optimal age for cosmetic surgery of the ear for this would be 5. The ears are done growing and it is before the age most children would encounter teasing, they say. It made me aware of the flip side of the teasing issue that is brought up. It would need to be approached very delicately I think if surgery was done. I would be very mindful of the message cosmetic surgery could send to a kid this age if they were aware of the reason for altering their appearance was for societal reasons.

Your daughter is precious and the baby pics with her cute lil ears remind me of a baby fairy

[Frootloop]

Originally Posted by MissRubyandKen

OP- I was googling ear deformities because I was curious what it may look like and apparently my dd's ears could be considered deformed. They call it lop ear deformity. And there is cosmetic surgery to correct it done under GA. I seriously never would have never thought to consider it a deformity. I've always thought of them as elfin ears . Here are some older pics of her 1 2 3 4. Here are some more recent pics of her now that she has some hair 1 2 3 4.

I have to say, no way, no how would I consider surgery for her. Not saying others are wrong for doing so, but I absolutely would not. According to the sites I was looking at, the optimal age for cosmetic surgery of the ear for this would be 5. The ears are done growing and it is before the age most children would encounter teasing, they say. It made me aware of the flip side of the teasing issue that is brought up. It would need to be approached very delicately I think if surgery was done. I would be very mindful of the message cosmetic surgery could send to a kid this age if they were aware of the reason for altering their appearance was for societal reasons.

I agree very much with this post!
12 yr old DD has a few cosmetic issues (ears, teeth, the right side of her lower lip dips down when she smiles or cries, slight club foot, etc), but I've never considered fixing her up until she consented herself. When she was around 7 or 8, her dentist wanted me to take her to a pediatric orthodontist to have some teeth pulled because her permanent teeth were/are coming in all wonky. I asked DD then if she wanted to start working on her mouth at that time.. she refused. Everyone kept telling me (and still do) that I HAVE to do something or I would regret it later. I'm sorry, but as long as DD can chew adequately, it's just not my decision to make. If she wants to keep her crooked teeth, I feel that that is her decision. She is beginning to show some interest in getting them worked on, but until she gives me the final word, I'm not about to force the issue on her.

For me.. as far as physical deformities go, unless it is causing pain for my child or severely hindering their enjoyment of life, it's simply not my place to make that decision for them. They can almost always make a decision later on to remove things.



BTW, MissRubyandKen, your DD's ears look very much like my DD's when she was younger. When she was first born, hers were quite pointy and everyone jokingly said that I must have slept with Dr. Spock from Star Trek. By 6 months, they weren't as pointy (you can also see her lip issue well here), but definitely still had a bit of an elfish look to them. The older she gets, the less pointy they are. Her ears are definitely more rounded out now, but they do stick out a bit more. She has only complained once or twice about them, but tends to wear her hair down most days. She does complain about her crooked smile at times, but it's something that she has learned to deal with well by actively forcing the other side of her mouth down a bit more.. basically, she's learned to control it a bit better.

This is my gorgeous DD now.. crooked teeth and all.

[Ceinwen]

Originally Posted by Twocoolboys

Are hemangiomas the type that gradually shrink and go away on their own?

Hers unfortunately fell into the 2% group that continued to grow after the first year, and has shown zero signs of involuting on it's own. So it's super bright red, and while it's stopped growing at this point, it hasn't shown any sign of going away.

[MissRubyandKen]

Frootloop- I just wanted to say your little girl is gorgeous. I love the baby pic of her, too cute

[Frootloop]

Originally Posted by MissRubyandKen

Frootloop- I just wanted to say your little girl is gorgeous. I love the baby pic of her, too cute

Aww, thanks a lot!!
You're little one is a beauty, too!