My 4 year-old developed intense separation anxiety after feeling traumatized from an allergen exposure. (Long story. She has life-threatening food allergies.) She had not had separation anxiety before that incident, but it was so bad that I ended up taking her to a medical psychologist who assist kids with anxiety regarding asthma and food allergies.
Treatment worked beautifully. In a very short time, she attended school without anxiety - - and without me staying in the room.
She had started dance classes at the same time as preschool. I did not implement the psychologist's rotocol for managing the separation at dance class because it seemed impractical. The psychologist's plan depended heavily on the teacher taking over distracting and giving my daughter extra attention and asssistance. That extra attention seemed impractical to ask of a dance teacher with many children in the class.
Long story short, I ended up staying and watching my daughter during class. The teachers were accommodating, and it worked because both my children were taking the class.
My son will NOT be taking this dance class next session. Let's just say it wasn't for him. From a practical standpoint, as a single parent with limited funds and no family in the area, I have to take my son with me when I take my daughter to dance class.
I really cannot stay in the classroom this time with my son who is not taking hte class. Trust me. He will be totally disruptive -- a big reason he is not taking hte class this time.
My daughter LOVED the class. She dances all the time. I think it's good for her and a good fit. The teachers are wonderful. They have early childhood backgrounds and are just fabulous with the children.
My daughter, however, is threatening that she will kick and scream and cry if I do not stay in the room with her. She is saying she will not take hte class if I don't stay in the room.
I have told her that I will stay right outside the room, and indeed, must because of her food allergies and asthma. (I have her epi pen and inhaler). I have told her I don't even use the bathroom during that time because i have her medication. I have told her that her brother is taking a class by himself, which she isn't taking, and I would like her to take the dance class by herself, without her brother.
She is managing preschool wonderfully now. She is excited to go. Has lots of friends and no issues with me not being there.
She loves her dance teachers.
How do I handle this? I really don't want her caving to "I'm scared. I don't want to do it" especially when I know she has taken the class before and knows everything to expect, absolutely loves the class, and knows nad loves the teachers, and is navigating preschool wonderfully. The refusal to take the class without me seems more manipulative than a true terror-stricken anxiety in that I think she would really like me to be there but doesn't have the same baseline need for me to be there as she did in the throes of hte separation anxiety. I also think it's more of a "learned behavior."
Incidentally, the intense separation anxiety did not last a very long time. I sought psychological guidance pretty quickly after she developed such intense anxiety upon separating.
Suggestions? Thoughts?
Treatment worked beautifully. In a very short time, she attended school without anxiety - - and without me staying in the room.
She had started dance classes at the same time as preschool. I did not implement the psychologist's rotocol for managing the separation at dance class because it seemed impractical. The psychologist's plan depended heavily on the teacher taking over distracting and giving my daughter extra attention and asssistance. That extra attention seemed impractical to ask of a dance teacher with many children in the class.
Long story short, I ended up staying and watching my daughter during class. The teachers were accommodating, and it worked because both my children were taking the class.
My son will NOT be taking this dance class next session. Let's just say it wasn't for him. From a practical standpoint, as a single parent with limited funds and no family in the area, I have to take my son with me when I take my daughter to dance class.
I really cannot stay in the classroom this time with my son who is not taking hte class. Trust me. He will be totally disruptive -- a big reason he is not taking hte class this time.
My daughter LOVED the class. She dances all the time. I think it's good for her and a good fit. The teachers are wonderful. They have early childhood backgrounds and are just fabulous with the children.
My daughter, however, is threatening that she will kick and scream and cry if I do not stay in the room with her. She is saying she will not take hte class if I don't stay in the room.
I have told her that I will stay right outside the room, and indeed, must because of her food allergies and asthma. (I have her epi pen and inhaler). I have told her I don't even use the bathroom during that time because i have her medication. I have told her that her brother is taking a class by himself, which she isn't taking, and I would like her to take the dance class by herself, without her brother.
She is managing preschool wonderfully now. She is excited to go. Has lots of friends and no issues with me not being there.
She loves her dance teachers.
How do I handle this? I really don't want her caving to "I'm scared. I don't want to do it" especially when I know she has taken the class before and knows everything to expect, absolutely loves the class, and knows nad loves the teachers, and is navigating preschool wonderfully. The refusal to take the class without me seems more manipulative than a true terror-stricken anxiety in that I think she would really like me to be there but doesn't have the same baseline need for me to be there as she did in the throes of hte separation anxiety. I also think it's more of a "learned behavior."
Incidentally, the intense separation anxiety did not last a very long time. I sought psychological guidance pretty quickly after she developed such intense anxiety upon separating.
Suggestions? Thoughts?
