convince me to nightwean my toddler... (xposted in pregnancy))

[sarahtdubb]

Hi mamas and mamas to be!

here are the facts:

I am 8 months pregnant (EDD Feb 6) and have a little boy who is 2 (27.5 months) and still loves his "mama milks." Around his 2nd bday he started miraculously sleeping through the night, which was a huge relief because I wasn't looking forward to nightweaning him before the baby came. Well, about 2 months ago that stopped, and he's now waking and nursing anywhere from 1-4 times a night.

This of itself is not a problem. I am waking up to pee ALL THE TIME anyway, and I generally just nurse him for a couple minutes before he rolls away back to sleep. I've had no nursing discomfort during the pregnancy and it's not bothering me at all.

But I have this nagging voice telling me in my head that I need to nightwean before the baby is born, for everyone's sanity. When he wakes at night and is denied the boob he gets mad, but calms down very quickly if my husband takes him out of the room. And while my hubby can get him to sleep in the daytime, if it is dark outside my son is quite stubborn about staying awake until he gets mama milk.

I know that our first night with our newborn is not going to be a fun time to be denying my son and struggling with him. I also don't want him to associate those changes with the new baby. But honestly, mamas, I am so unmotivated. I'm not the kind of person that can force change in my life when it doesn't FEEL immediately necessary, and because nothing is wrong right this minute, I don't feel motivated to change things.

But the nagging voice is probably right---I need to get my son ready for these changes, and I know I won't be able to meet these nighttime needs as much when there is a new little nursling in my lap.

Will you motivate me?

[anotherpeanut]

I will motivate you! But since you are due so soon I'm also not sure about how I feel about cutting him off now. If you would've asked this a couple months ago it would have been different but because new baby is coming soon my personal feeling is that first baby is going to feel a bit displaced (which they will regardless of EVERYTHING since there is a new kiddo coming into play). Maybe week by week cut him down, this week 2 times, next week 1 time, after that nothing...if you are okay with that. It sounds like your husband will help you out too so just pass off to him, you'll need his support even more with new baby anyways might as well start now! I'm completely weaning my just turned 2 year old right now so I am right there with you (he's been nightweaned for awhile thankfully). I'm not due until June but he's pretty attached to his nursing and my boobs are killing me so I'm done (I don't have the patience for nursing 2)...I know there are others that would stick it out but for my sanity and health I am moving on. Good luck and congrats!

[mum21andtwins]

Can I motivate you to reconsider?
I had three nurlings at night when the twins where born 2.5yrs ago an it all worked out for us.
nightweaning could seriously backfire with him wanting to nurse constantly during the day, being more needy/clingy etc.
Whatever you choose good luck!

[painefaria]

I can tell you that night weaning was a positive move for DS and I as well as moving him to his own bed (a twin in our room). He nurses to sleep and when he is soundly asleep I move him to his bed. He sleeps better, longer, and more soundly because he is not being bumped by me all night long. We went through a period not to long ago when I was not able to move him into his bed because he would wake. It was horrible, he was tired all day, grouchy, as was I. He even remarked about how he liked sleeping in his own bed with more room. Please don't get me wrong, I LOVE CO-SLEEPING, but for everyone involved night weaning and his own bed was an important step for our own sanity.

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by mum21andtwins

Can I motivate you to reconsider?
I had three nurlings at night when the twins where born 2.5yrs ago an it all worked out for us.
nightweaning could seriously backfire with him wanting to nurse constantly during the day, being more needy/clingy etc.
Whatever you choose good luck!

If you feel strongly that you should nightwean him, go for it. But two things to consider:
1) if you don't really think he *should* he will be able to read you (at least my kids could) and will be more likely to strongly refuse
2) it might not be as bad as you think it will. We did partially night wean DD while I was pg (so she would go one 4-5 hour segment at night most night) and when DS arrived the night nursing really worked itself out all on its own
3) Is he in your bed? If he is and you plan on having the new little one there too, you might give consideration to what you will do if he is woken by the baby in the night and you CAN'T nurse him back to sleep.

Good luck!

[etsdtm99]

i would not have been able to night wean my DD (when i was pg with DS) if i hadn't been miserable nursing all night and not sleeping (i had some serious pain and couldn't sleep while nursing)

if you can bring yourself to do it, i think your life would probably be easier when the baby comes, you at least want him to go to sleep for DH if you can't deal with him int he night.. i know when my DS was born if i had to deal with DD in the night it made me sooooo tired and frustrated where if i was just getting up with the newborn i was fine .. even now if they both wake up in the night even if it only totals 2-3 night wakings if one of those wakings is with my older child it drains all my energy.. at the same time, if you need to night wean once the baby is here, you could.. my DD was 26 months when DS was born and she totally understood that babies needed more milk than big kids and she didn't get resentful or jealous .. she didn't 'like' DS very much, but it was not directly related to him nursing more or getting to nurse when she didn't etc. i think she just didn't expect him to be so boring.. now that he is a toddler and can play with her, she wants another brother!