*~*'~* January 2010 - New Year - New Love - New DATING ADVENTURES *~*'~* - Page 12

[MsChatsAlot]

Dating, love, relationships...it's all about the journey.

The "destination" is merely the culmination of all the moments along the way...so just be in the moment, take things step by step and everything comes clearer along the way.

We don't need to know immediately if there's a 'future'. Some of the best relationships begin slowly, as friends and somewhere in those moments, it morphs into a beautiful relationship/

Being in the moment, focusing on & appreciating all the things we like most about the person is the best way to see how we really feel and it will either develop into more or not...but it won't matter because you've been present and enjoying each moment along the way.

[Butterflymom]

Seie, you do NOT Have to decide. You know what to do....put the brakes on, but keep enjoying his company.

muse, I don't think that meeting face to face is taking a huge step. Why does he? I don't get it. I can see being careful about an emotional investment and a emotionally intense, serious relationship, but it sounds like you guys are doing that for nearly a year now, minus any face-to-face time to determine if you guys enjoy each other's company live. If i were you, I'd tell him that you are fine with taking things slow and carefully and not rushing in crazily, but at this point, sitting together and sharing a cup of tea and talking with eye contact is not the same thing as blindly rushing in, and kind of an important part of human interaction, not to be postponed until years down the line of these intense phone marathons. I'm sorry, although I'm happy for you that you found someone with whom you share such synergy, the scenario you guys have managed to mangle yourselves into is just..... weird. Just meet already and then figure out from there. YOu'll probably both wonder why on earth you thought it was such a big darned deal when you do. Meet someplace in the middle perhaps? Just a 24 hour thing? after a year of build-up, the expense shouldn't be an issue. Or he can pay for half of your ticket or you pay for half of his.

[muse]

Originally Posted by Butterflymom

Meet someplace in the middle perhaps? Just a 24 hour thing? after a year of build-up, the expense shouldn't be an issue. Or he can pay for half of your ticket or you pay for half of his.

not a year! only 4 months, and for a month of that we didn't talk at all...
still, yeah of course if we were in the same town, or even a few hrs away we would have met. but i looked into flights and it was *expensive*. plus hotel, plus car....anyway he offered to come here because of the expense involved, me being a single mom...it's all just a matter of timing...and it's going to be up to him. i can't force that. all i can do is know my own limits. i would have met him in the first month, happily. he told me he's flown to meet a woman (or women?) in the past and got there to discover there was no deep connection between them. so he's trying to find that out first.
yeah, i *know* that's impossible, and besides the connection between us is pretty undeniable....he says over and over, "this is the kind of connection i've yearned for, this is too good to be true", etc etc...c'mon already!

hmm he just texted asking to chat tonite.

[monkey'smom]

whoah, that took a while to catch up. I'll post a longer reply later, but I just wanted to give a quick update.

There's not a whole lot going on with me, which I'm fine with. I have made the decision to focus on myself for a while and get things back on track before I attempt dating again. However, that doesn't mean that I'm against um, some action ,from time to time.

Anyhow, there's this guy I know, we've been friendly for about a year now, we met at a party, I play the cello and he's in a band, and they were looking for someone to play cello for a song at that time. So since then, we've gotten together on our own a few times to play music, or to go to shows together, since we have similar taste in music.

We usually end up in bed together at the end of the night, and I was pleased with the situation, just because we were always clear with what it was, not relationship material, but that we could still hang out and be cool. Also, he was always seemed very considerate, and like a nice guy.

I have this weird thing about phones, I do not like to talk on them. If I can communicate online with someone, I will do that. Like, even my girlfriends tease me and always tell people, no really, don't call her, she won't answer her phone. When someone ask for my #, I usually just tell them to add me to msn or facebook and we can talk there. So, I had never spoken on the phone with this guy before, but that's not unusual at all with me.

However, a couple of weekends ago, I had tickets to a show, he asked me if I was going, and we made plans to go together. We were discussing it on msn the afternoon of, and he said "message me when you're ready to go and I'll come pick you up." and I replied that I was going offline to get ready, and what was his #, I would just call . And he was like, " I'd rather you just msg me". I didn't say anything, but I went to the show on my own and didn't message him. Just because, I was like, ummmmmm, we've hung out at least 10 times, you've slept with me, and you don't want me to have your number? like, did he think I was going to start calling him around the clock just because I had his number? I don't know, maybe I overeacted, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. And then he was peeved with me when we ran into each other that night, and I explained why I was peeved, he said it wasn't a big deal, but I don't know. I still find it strange.

[muse]

monkey'smom, i may be way off, but any chance he's living with someone/married? that's the first thing i think if someone doesn't want to give their number out...