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*~*'~* January 2010 - New Year - New Love - New DATING ADVENTURES *~*'~* - Page 3

post #41 of 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflymom View Post
Men are full of such crap.

yes they are. unfortunately. most of them? some of them? I don't know.


I have to say....I'm surprised at some of the familiar faces I'm seeing on POF ( maybe I shouldn't be, considering what a small city I live in)....I'm wondering, has anyone ever messaged an aquaintance on a dating site? I'm not talking about beautiful dangerous guy, but there is a guy who was a friend of a guy I dated briefly a couple of years ago....and I remember meeting him at a couple of get togethers and thinking he was much more my type....anyhow....would it be inapropiate for me to message him? like, what could I say...." hey, you may or not remember me dating your friend? "
post #42 of 225
Well chatted on fb with countryboy again last night, I didn't really ask for anymore info about the "nervous breakdown". I think I will do that in person. We chatted for a few hours again last night. We talked about ice fishing ( hey I'm from northern Ontario, it's a big thing here!) and I said maybe he could take me sometime, he replied he'd love to, he'd be honored to! Cute but I don't know I'm not thatspecial! Just a normal girl! Is there such a thing as being to nice? I think we are most likely going to get together in person, maybe this weekend coming? I want to be persued so I will wait for him to ask for now.

Butterfly- Sounds like you have lots of prospects to keep you busy while in London! Soothing Southerner doesn't know what he's missing, his loss!

Mumblemama- I feel the same kind of weird draw to my neighbour HH, I haven't know him as long but I think he has a wall up for sure and I really don't know that much about him. As much of a uva he's been lately I still feel a strong draw to him! MEN!! Have fun with your OKC prospects!!

Brittanyscott- Rodeo man sounds interesting! Bull riders are usually pretty hot!

Monkeysmom- My dads family is french and catholic as well, maybe thats why I am drawn to it? This mans parents are very religeous , father gets up at 4 am to pray! They are caretakers of their church and cemetary etc. My Grandmother would surely approve! He doesn't attend church regularly though. I love the close knit family aspect I guess. My x's family is very much every man for themselves type.
The dangerous guy putting up a sweet POF profile is weird! Men put such bs on their profiles it seems though, to lure you in I guess!!
post #43 of 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by momanderson View Post
Cute but I don't know I'm not that special! Just a normal girl! Is there such a thing as being to nice?
I think that has more to do with how YOU feel about yourself than his being too nice.

I know for darn certain I am not just a "normal girl." I also know I want a man that recognizes that I am that special.
post #44 of 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkey'smom View Post
yes they are. unfortunately. most of them? some of them? I don't know.

I don't know... I know an awful lot of women that are equally full of crap! Full of crappiness isn't a gender-specific quality.
post #45 of 225
Oops, double post
post #46 of 225
Thread Starter 

§

Soothing southerner was tracked down today by calling his work number. He swears it was just his phone not working and after he checked, it seems my emails were going to spam, and we have a lunch date for thurs. But if he doesn't pursue me hot n heavy after that, it's gonna die immediately becaus i'm so underwhelmed by his lack of effort in being in touch with me when he knew I was in town , despite the technical difficulties.
post #47 of 225
Butterflymom.. that seems such a lame excuse. If he knew you were in town why didn't HE call? Bleh.
post #48 of 225
Keep us updated on all the happenings in London butterflymom. It doesn't seem like any of us are having much luck dating right now. Maybe after the new year sparks wear out things will return to normal. I'm definitely looking for a boost in dating now.
post #49 of 225
Butterfly: Do update us ASAP. We are dying to know all about your dates

Here I have been surfing around a couple of dating sites in the past days. I even paid for one of them, as it seemed to have a better representation of - ahem - good men. Most of the others have way too many - unserious - profiles.
I wrote a few short letters and got a very sweet and intelligent "No-thank-you" letter back from one of them but havent heard from the others. I am not writing the best ones on my possibles list just yet, as I am really not quite ready for much more than a coffee-date at most. But so far it doesnt seem anyone is interested at all. I bet it is the three kids making the difference as many of them are "I-love-fitness-it-makes-me-relax-and-then-I-like-to-travel-and-experience-other-countries"-type men.. Boring stereotypes most of them..
I am still fighting the urge to call my lost love up and beg and argue for him to take me back. I'm pathetic.
post #50 of 225
Seie,

Are there any single parent groups out there where you live? That might be a nice way to meet up with some nice people who 'get it', male or female. It might be nice to have a support group and build up some friendships.
Who knows where those might lead to......
post #51 of 225
I've been reading hard to catch up! I'm not certain I have.

My 2010 is going great. Spent the week in Orange with TG. Very funny; his ex-girlfriend texted him on NYE. He was the best thing to happen to her in 2009, you know, and she really wishes they could be friends. : She treated him like crap. We both figure whoever she left him for left her.

We spent a LOT of time talking while I was there. Remember the topic of abuse we touched on a couple of months ago here? He and I discussed that, and also hit on his Big Scary Thing. Poor guy was really afraid I would leave him over it, but like I told him--it was on his blog, so I knew about it before getting involved with him.

Went over to his parents' again and his mom asked me if I could have any more kids. Then if he wanted any. I think she likes me...

I'll check in again when I have more time, but Momanderson ITA with Holland--you are that special.l
post #52 of 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seie View Post
as many of them are "I-love-fitness-it-makes-me-relax-and-then-I-like-to-travel-and-experience-other-countries"-type men.. Boring stereotypes most of them..
Seie... are you saying that I am a "boring stereotype"??? Because, in all honesty, I DO love run, it does make me relax (in addition to keeping me sane) and traveling and experiencing other countries is one of my greatest passions?
post #53 of 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland73 View Post
Seie... are you saying that I am a "boring stereotype"??? Because, in all honesty, I DO love run, it does make me relax (in addition to keeping me sane) and traveling and experiencing other countries is one of my greatest passions?
No. There is nothing wrong with those things, it's just what they all write. I don't think it defines ones personality. My objection is mainly that they all write the same thing - the profiles are very alike and I would really like a person with more to him that just that. Also ofcourse I like to travel. I mean - most people do. I certainly do. But knowing that a man likes that too really doesn't do anything for me. I don't have the money or the opportunity to just travel around all the time, and if a man is looking for someone who can just pull 6 months from their calender to travel around then that is not me. I have responsibilities to other people than myself and really I would like a man who acknowledges that wanting to travel isn't a personal quality. Hey - I like chocolate, but it doesn't define me as a person. So I guess essentially my objection is that if a man defines himself as a "person who likes to travel and do fitness" - if those are the things he feels are most importent to communicate about his personality - then I'd really rather keep looking. Do I make sense?
post #54 of 225
I had an email this morning from that guy, the overbearing one. One in which he called me a liar, because he had asked me awhile ago, if I was on POF still ( that's originally how we met, three years ago) and I said no. I said no, because my profile had been hidden for over a year, and hadn't logged in and didn't even remember my password. Anyhow, I sent a request for my password a few days ago, unhid my profile, and made some changes. He obviously found my profile. I did not mean as it an outright lie...I explained to him the situation ( because really, I don't like to lie, and maybe I did, I don't know, I guess?) and apologized. He emailed me back, and said, sorry, your a liar.

And then I thought about it, and I still don't think I was in the wrong for saying no when he asked. And I realize what he is doing right now, and that is, even if it's a negative back and forth, it's still a back and forth, and that's what he wants, for me to respond to it.

So, I sent him a message that just basically said, I am cutting off all ties with you, because this is an unbalanced friendship in which you want more than I can give. I also did some soul searching and realized that I did know he had had feelings for me all this time, so even though I chose not to acknowledge them, and he didn't say anything until recently, I did allow him to do things for me that were outside the normal bounds of friendship ( like drive me to work when I was stuck, go out his way to drop things off for me, and really, used him as a self esteem booster, just things that I had taken advantage of, and apologized to him for that) I then told him I was blocking him from my email, despite enjoying our friendship while it lasted, but it's taken a turn that's beyond the point of repair. so....that's that.

I just REALLY don't arguing with people, so waking up to those kind of things kind of put a downer on my day.

Seie- I know exactly what your talking about, when I look through profiles, and they talk about running, enjoying travel, reading, friends ( anything that everyone enjoys)....I'm like, yes, everyone likes those things! what are you all about?

MomAnderson- that's exactly what it is, the family thing ( about why I like the catholic). I think of my extended family, and they are all large and close knit. so even though they don't need to go hand in hand, that's automatically what I picture. And, any guy who's close with his family, I find that attractive.

Mumblemam-what happened with the ladies off of OKcupid? I'm curious...haha.
post #55 of 225
Monkeysmom- I'm glad you ended things with the overbearing guy. He sounds like a huge energy drain!

Seie- I agree a lot of guys on my local POF write the same stuff! I actually saw 2 profiles that were exactly the same, word for word! It was a really cheesey profile the first time around, not really worth copy and pasting!

Butterfly- any updates??

Sagesgirl- yes I need to remember I am that special!

I think part of my problem is that I am at a crossroads of sorts. Between who I became while I was married vs how I could have lived life, the experiences I was afforded as a child. Does that make sense? I married at 19. In reflecting lately, I don't know why I am affraid of persuing the 45 year old.(mudpuppy) I go back and forth between thinking we couldn't possibly have anything in common to thinking we'd have much more in common than my x and I.
I did grow up with culture in my life, that has been totally lacking in the 12 years I was married though. I used to go to shows, live music, museums etc. I grew up being taken to dinner parties, nice vacations, time shares etc.
I am interested in environmental concerns, I find public health interesting, love old houses and antiques ( he's renovating an old house, doing lathe and plaster himself) I think I am going to take a bit of a step back and focus on finding things I enjoy doing, take a yoga class, look into going back to school, drink wine, maybe get a part time job to get out of the house a bit more.
I think things with the neighbour are done I guess, I returned his movies last night while he was at work. I don't think I will hear from him again. if I do it would be nice, but I'm not holding my breath!
I sent countryboy a message last night saying I am going to take a step back from dating to focus on the kids and going to school or work. He was just way to intense for me right now. He was nice, but almost like he wanted to move me and the kid into his place like next week! No thanks I do like my freedom!
Mudpuppy is still in the running, he messaged me on POF the other night and gave me his #. I haven't called yet though, bad me! My 2 year old has been staying up late and I have to lay with him until he falls asleep. I somehow doubt he wants me to call at 11pm! I am going to message him shortly and see if he is on fb or msm so we could chat at least.
No other prospects but thats ok I think I need to work on me a bit before giving this dating thing a serious go
post #56 of 225
good lord...I just received a facebook message in which he found two people on my friends list that he also found on POF ( I can't even begin to think about how much effort or time that took.....like, to even take the pictures and do all that sorting through and putting faces to profiles and what not. the stupid thing is, neither of them, did I meet off of POF) in his words " well, I couldn't sleep last night so I did some browsing, and this is why I don't believe you. I'm mad at you for thinking I'm so stupid that I can't put two and two together". ummmmmm. whoah. blocked and deleted from facebook.

I'm starting to rethink having a profile that is up on POF, I wasn't expecting that kind of drama from it.
post #57 of 225
Wow Monkeysmom that is pretty crazy! I'd have blocked and deleted him too! That is way to stalkerish for me!!
post #58 of 225
monkey'smom - whoa. That is beyond freaky. I hope you do NOT respond to him any further. I've dealt with way too many stalkers in the past... I understand allowing people to do things outside of normal bounds of friendship when they have a thing for you.. but in the end, it's their choice and no promises were made.

As for the girls from okc, I haven't yet had time to meet them. Planning to meet at least one of them sometime this weekend, but the other one stopped responding to me. Not sure why. I've been busy w/ my kids, though now I've got several days ahead to fill.

Gonna hang out w/ Artsy P tonight, possibly go hiking. Just kind of a stress free thing.

Shy Guitarist is curious. He texted me out of the blue *again* which seems so unlike him, an just said "Lets hang out soon". We had last left it up in the air and that I'd let him know when I have time, but that was about a week ago. It's nice having even remote interest from him shown when we're not in person, even though it's likely just a booty call.

momanderson
, I think finding things you enjoy is great. It took me a long time to merge "me" and "mom" together.
post #59 of 225
monkey'smom. Ugh. Sorry you are dealing with this. Glad you've got him blocked. My ex was stalking my online profile for a while (sent me a message, even) and what I did was put up a very minimal profile, with no picture, and limited information (but hopefully conveying a bit of my personality/sense of humor). I knew that it was very unlikely that I would get anyone contacting me with that profile, but at least I had a presence on the site in order to initate contact with people. In my first note I explained that I was uneasy about being recognizable online (I live in a very small, rural state, so lots of people feel this way, even without a stalker) and gave more info and offered to send pics if they wrote back. This is how I met ATG.

Butterfly...hoping to hear that at least one of these guys was worth a flip. Update us when you can!

Sabra... So happy things are going so well for you!

Seie. You sound a bit better . Don't push yourself to date though, if you don't want to. I know what you mean about the profiles. I look for tone/writing style (and skill, cause that matters to me) more than content in an initial profile...something that shows a bit of personality!

momanderson....you SHOULD pursue a meeting with mudpuppy. Seriously. You and I sound so much alike, I think, and it did me a WORLD of good to just GO on dates with the men who contacted me, and recognize that I AM someone interesting and attractive -- hard to remember after many years in a crummy marriage and many years being no one but mommy to many little children. For a while, I pledged to myself that I would agree to a coffee date with anyone who asked me (barring total weirdos, of course) and it was such good practice and really boosted my sense of who I was and who I was looking for.

Brittneyscott
...glad you're back! We were worried about you!

mumblemama....looking forward to your updates as well. And just reiterating what everyone else has said, OF COURSE we want to hear about dates with women as well as men. Ceinwen used to hang around here, and she came out, got up the courage to ask out her dd's daycare provider and now is happily coupled! I also have dated women in the past, and am certainly open to it in the future. I have the same problem you do though, in that "real" lesbians are generally skeptical/wary of women who are bisexual/"experimenting" which is definitely the category I fall into.

I know I'm forgetting to respond to some of you, but I am at work and should probably get some work done!

Things continue to be good with ATG. There are a few little things that I'm wondering about, as I consider (to myself, of course) if I'd want to be with him long term, but they are all things that are "in progress" for him, so it just depends on how they play out, and what he does to take action in his own life. And in the meantime, I really really like him and he makes me feel great, so ....
post #60 of 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seie View Post
No. There is nothing wrong with those things, it's just what they all write. I don't think it defines ones personality. My objection is mainly that they all write the same thing - the profiles are very alike and I would really like a person with more to him that just that. Also ofcourse I like to travel. I mean - most people do. I certainly do. But knowing that a man likes that too really doesn't do anything for me. I don't have the money or the opportunity to just travel around all the time, and if a man is looking for someone who can just pull 6 months from their calender to travel around then that is not me. I have responsibilities to other people than myself and really I would like a man who acknowledges that wanting to travel isn't a personal quality. Hey - I like chocolate, but it doesn't define me as a person. So I guess essentially my objection is that if a man defines himself as a "person who likes to travel and do fitness" - if those are the things he feels are most importent to communicate about his personality - then I'd really rather keep looking. Do I make sense?
Seie: I was playing with you, hence the smilies at the end of my post!

I understood exactly what you were saying.
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