Revisited the NICU

[jingwen]

Moderator please move me to NICU Forum (I couldn't find it)......

I want to tell you all our story of what happened when my
22 mos ds and I revisited the NICU the other day.

Recently dh and i took our ds to revisit the NICU. I wasn't sure how my ds would react but i didn't expect this...

On the drive to the hospital, dh and i were discussing with ds how we are revisiting the hospital he was born at and say hi to all the nurses.

I took ds to the lobby of NICU and explained to him again we are at the nursery he was born at. He seemed quiet, i took him to the hallway of the NICU and he looked around kind of concerned but ds is normally quiet in new places anyway.

Then the nurses came out and said hi talking to ds and i and everything seemed ok, once again ds was quiet. Then we went inside the NICU and ds screamed. He cried and pointed to the door to get out. He was really distraught.

The nurses thought it was because he is associating the NICU with a doctor's visit but i said that he never cries at doctor visits.

I decided to leave and said our goodbyes. Later, i spoke to ds and said were you scared of the NICU? he said "uh huh". I asked do you remember that place? he said "uh huh". Do you remember mommy was there when you were born? He got quiet and cried.

I was floored. I know babies remember their births and their traumas but it didn't hit me until now. i am so hurt about what happened. I guess i was trying to deny that he would remember any of this and he will grow up unscarred emotionally. Now i feel so guilty and sad.

Anyone else revisted the NICU? Thanks for listening.

[khrisday]

We have been back to the hospital, but not up to the actual nursery. The nursery my dd was in is restricted, so we coudl only have gone to the reception desk, anyway. My dd had nightmares about her surgery when she was around 2 yrs old. It was traumatic for both of us, but I can say that she has worked through it on her own over time. I took her to a councelor once to see if there were thigns she needed to work on, and the counselor felt that she had supressed the memories as a way of working through them and that it was a healthy thing. She is now almost 5, and does not remember being in the hospital.

[mamaley]

that's really amazing!
eta that i'm sorry that your ds and you had to go through that though.

[spero]

We made a visit when DD was 13 months old. She seemed really happy to see her nurses and her neonatalogist, and even allowed them to hold her and cuddle her.

I'm sorry that your visit was so traumatic for your ds.

[charmarty]

my girls talk about the NICU alot.They havent been there since they were 2 weeks old.I have only gone back once,to visit my DBF baby. I never want to go back again.It was too hard all the way around.I dont want to bring back my girls there either.
I understand why you did.btu bc my girls remember thier traumatic birth I just cant do it.

to you and your ds.

[Piglet68]

Moving this to Birth and Beyond...

[Shenjall]

We've thought about going back but havent yet (3 .5 years ago..) but a friend of mine (whos dd was born at 25 weeks) had to get rid of anything that "beeped" in her house. Everytime an alarm would go off her dd would scream! She figures it reminds her of all the monitors in nicu b/c shes fine with every other loud noise.
hugs to you and your family...
laura