Hello everyone and happy new year. I hope that this is a fantastically BFP year, heck month, for everyone
Mae, I see something, yes!!!!!! Hoping for an ever-increasingly dark line
Tear, that kind of spotting is a good one IMO....
for you too.
for everyone else too!
AFM, I'm having an awful day - I am just so bitter. Hope you don;t mind a vent, as no-one else understands....okay so I take my temp yesterday CD8 and my temp is average and a opk is faint positive. Usually I o on D10 and 2-3 days beforehand I get faint positives ( technically negatives) then a big positive for 1-2 days then faint again....couldn't BD as Dh was out of town but no worries as it is still early right? well, I wake up this am and temp is way up ( should have dipped) and opk is fainter, almost gone and then FF gave me crosshairs and said I'm past o......so, I missed this month....no idea why I o so early>\???? I mean what the heck? I have NEVER o that early....must have been D6 or 7, I'm always D10-13.....
Trying to get my head around another missed month, DH comes home and announces that he feels we should only try for this year and then that is it...because he deosn't want to 'be too old' ( we are both 37).....so now we are down to 11 more months to try.....This is the first time he tells me there is a time limit for him
I go on facebook which turns out to be a big mistake, one 'friend' ( who had suggested I had 4 m/c because I was too old) had given birth to a son and also had the perfect home delivery ( she knew I had had a difficult/complicated birth with DD and ended up an emergency C-section and also knew how much I wanted a home/natural birth, but that's another story...)and made sure to give me all the details...it just broke my heart. I mean I am happy that she has a healthy son and all, but YKWIM.....I tried so hard to be happy for her. Then I get another email telling me that my good friend is about to have her third child....she didn't want me to find out on facebook and thought she should tell me now ( she has 8 weeks to go)....happy for her but now I'm just on the floor.
DH, usually supportive pipes in " we have a great daughter, why can't you just be grateful for her in stead of just so bitter?".
So now I feel like a totally crappy mom, wife and friend. I'm sick of this, living here with all this snow and -30 all the time and staying in doors day after day and a different country than my family, no money to do anything or go anywhere, trying to have a second child, POAS and temp taking and being given no answers, being told to be grateful for what I have, and it just stinks. It's not the kind of life I envisioned.....sorry, for this rant. I just have no-one else around me that understands. I'm just having a really rough day and want to crawl under a rock......