hubs and I each take 2000 mg (why don't people just write 2g when talking about maca? i always see it as 2000 mg), not like it's done anything yet, but hope springs eternal. and maca definitely helps with his libido and performance. not to say that anything was lacking, but when he's tired and stressed he tends to get grumpy in the sack. this totally helps with his stamina and has ended all those times where he's been in the mood but then was too tired to finish. i haven't noticed much from the maca, but i'm sticking with it anyway.
so, you know you're a TTC nut when, despite a CLEAR temp drop a day or two before your expected period, you browse the FF gallery to see all kinds of temp drops below coverline at 10-11 dpo and then decide you're still in the game. (no AF yet, but i FEEL it coming, plus look at these TEMPS! hope is RIDICULOUS in this scenario.
) but you know you're DEFINITELY nuts when you glare at your thermometer by the bed, wondering how to trick it. maybe i can wear like, four sweaters and 3 pairs of pants to bed. THEN my temp will rise! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! take THAT, system! i'm a rebel!
a good friend of mine told me not to be upset when i grumpily mentioned that my temp had dropped and my period was about to show. that's why it's bad for people to know when you're TTC. each time you AREN'T pregnant, everyone has a great reason for why it's TOTALLY okay that it didn't happen. and it's like, dude. c'mon. i want a baby. i will obviously be disappointed when my period comes. am i going to slit my wrists over it? no. am i going to freak out that i'm abnormal or try to suck my uterus out with a vacuum or something? no. i am just going to be freaking DISAPPOINTED when my period comes, like ANY TTC-er is no matter how long they've been in the game, because when you want something and you don't get it the natural emotional reaction is DISAPPOINTMENT. you feel it, you process it, and THEN you work on moving past it - you can't just force yourself not to be upset when it's a natural reason to be disappointed. even the zennest person can't stay zen ALL the time. i mean, what are you supposed to do, throw a party when AF comes? lie to yourself and say it's fine because you didn't want a baby anyway? jeez louise.
anyway, projections for next cycle: staying on maca and vitex, keeping up with acupuncture. gonna start exercising regularly and eating better, this time FOR REALZ. daughter is re-nightweaned and we saw a sleep specialist today, so we have a good (yet still gentle and gradual - woo) plan in place to help deal with her sleep issues. i so didn't think i'd come out of that appointment with an actually good plan that i'd feel comfortable with, so mega bonus! with any luck, this cycle will see us better rested at O time and thus more relaxed and able to bang. if not, i totes expect that by the next cycle. we've already seen improvement since nightweaning, so i hope that things keep up in that department. i also appreciate having an extra cycle to really get my energy and motivation back up. they've been super low since i was feeling sooo depressed last month, so some time to get things in order and feel like things are running smoothly would be great.
really, the one thing that is getting me this cycle is that i'm just SO not in the mood for AF. my keeper has been leaking, i hate tampons and pads (even cloth pads), and so my period just totally sucks. and who wants to invest in better period stuff when you want to keep the b!tch AWAY for at least 9 months? maybe i should buy some really swanky period stuff to ensure that i get knocked up. that was the thought behind buying the keeper last june, though, so clearly THAT did nothing for me. anyway, i'm totally at peace with the no-baby part (at least, i think so, but i'll question it if i really do wear extra clothes to bed just so the thermometer can't slap me in the face tomorrow), i'm just sooooooooo not in the mood to bleed like a stuck pig for the next few days.
suuuuuuuuuper rambly. anyone else? where's LZP at?! check in, dangit! i miss having a fellow MDC-novelist on board.