do you enjoy working in the kitchen with your child? - Page 2

[treegardner]

DS is only 17 months, but I keep play kitchen accessories from Ikea in the kitchen so he has his own "tools" to use.

[monkaha]

Originally Posted by eclipse

I absoloutely hate it with a fiery passion. Hate. it. I still do it, because I know it's something that's good for them. I don't do it as often as I feel I should or would benefit them. But it drives me completely. insane.

[PNCTink]

My DD is 2.5 and I do enjoy it. I will often give her a small portion of her own to work with while I do the rest and that works pretty well for us. She prefers baking to cooking though. If we're doing something that we can't split then I let her dump in the ingredients after I measure them out. She likes to stir, so I will let her do that until she gets bored. Then I finish later. I'm not usually in a hurry though.

[Think of Winter]

I love it when it goes well, and hate it when it goes badly. By badly I mean me getting mad and sending them out of the room and/or having a humongous mess to clean up.

A couple of things that help. Start with a big, clear work space, and some rules. Our rules are hands must be washed, and no making a mess for fun. This one is big with us, since my kids are 3 1/2 and nearly 6, and I can't handle it.

Do easy things. Pouring, measuring, and stirring flour is not easy. It's hard for me to do that without making a mess. Our best kids meal is pizza. It's really easy when you buy a frozen dough ball and if you have mini pizza pans so each kid makes their own meal (and no one else's.) Kneading, stretching, pouring the sauce, sprinkling the cheese. It's also a way to get them to try new things for toppings.

[noobmom]

Originally Posted by mystic~mama

DD *loves* working in the kitchen but she seems to get soo excited and pushy, I wonder if she feels my tension and it gets her keyed up...I guess working in the kitchen is my time where I can gather my thoughts so maybe that makes it hard.

I got her the Green Princess Cook Book for Christmas and yesterday we made the All you need is love cookies which ended up being quite involved...I was excited to use the natural food coloring I got with her and was sad I felt stressed and actually had to take a time out during the cookie cutter time because we were both wanting to run the show it felt like.

It feels like I am failing in that area...I have my talents in making food and I would love to be able to teach her things and have her help but it feels so stressful that I hope as she gets older we can work together more harmoniously in the kitchen.

By chance are you a perfectionist? Do you get tense if the food doesn't turn out just right?

I find that I enjoy cooking with my DS more if I don't worry about the outcome so much. Like when we do cookies. I make some cookies and he makes some cookies. Sometimes his cookies aren't the same size, gingerbread men lose their heads. Last time I made dinner rolls DS made some too. Normally I would take his dough after I finished all the others and make shape them myself, but this time he was putting them on the pan as he finished each one, so I left them. I was sure that they wouldn't cook properly because they weren't shaped correctly and were too small (I thought they would cook too fast). Well, guess which rolls DS ate at dinner--the ones he made. He loved them--he even took the extras and put them into his backpack to have as a snack at preschool.

[MittensKittens]

I love working in the kitchen with my three yo DD. She loves it too. The problem is that she often expects to be able to join in and cut up things when I am in a hurry, and it isn't always possible.

Baking cookies with my mom and grandma is one of my favorite childhood memories too, I think working in the kitchen together really creates that warm, togethery feeling. I hope it will do the same for DD.

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by Think of Winter

A couple of things that help. Start with a big, clear work space, and some rules. Our rules are hands must be washed, and no making a mess for fun. This one is big with us, since my kids are 3 1/2 and nearly 6, and I can't handle it.

Do easy things. Pouring, measuring, and stirring flour is not easy. It's hard for me to do that without making a mess. Our best kids meal is pizza. It's really easy when you buy a frozen dough ball and if you have mini pizza pans so each kid makes their own meal (and no one else's.) Kneading, stretching, pouring the sauce, sprinkling the cheese. It's also a way to get them to try new things for toppings.

Those are good tips. Those are my rules as well, plus "don't handle a knife on your own". DD is allowed to cut veggies and to hold a kitchen knife, but only while I am also holding the same knife, together with her.

[Alyantavid]

I enjoy working with one of my kids at a time, but not both. And not usually on the rushed nights where I'm just trying to get us fed.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by noobmom

By chance are you a perfectionist? Do you get tense if the food doesn't turn out just right?

I find that I enjoy cooking with my DS more if I don't worry about the outcome so much. Like when we do cookies. I make some cookies and he makes some cookies. Sometimes his cookies aren't the same size, gingerbread men lose their heads. Last time I made dinner rolls DS made some too. Normally I would take his dough after I finished all the others and make shape them myself, but this time he was putting them on the pan as he finished each one, so I left them. I was sure that they wouldn't cook properly because they weren't shaped correctly and were too small (I thought they would cook too fast). Well, guess which rolls DS ate at dinner--the ones he made. He loved them--he even took the extras and put them into his backpack to have as a snack at preschool.

Great advice. If you are having trouble letting go, I might separate the cooking/baking that you do for your purposes and to prepare meals, and the cooking/baking you do with your child. Then the outcome won't matter so much.

I think it's healthy for children of all ages to help prepare family meals. If it's too stressful, then for now, I'd work in the kitchen with them as separate fun time.

[amcal]

I also think it's important to not feel like you have to do it all the time but, to make a conscience choice to do it some of the time. And those times you are choosing to cook with your child, choose to let go of expectations, control etc... and choose to just enjoy the experience.

This may not work with dinner - if you're stressed and need to get dinner on the table, that is not the time to cook with your child. And, it's ok to say that. But, choose a different time - make a date to make some brownies on the weekend or ask your child to help you make dinner on a Saturday when you're not stressed.

It's not an all or nothing thing. It's ok to say no sometimes as long as you do create that opportunity other times.

[amcal]

I don't limit it but, the rule is that there is no TV or video games until chores and homework are done. A lot of the time they'll want to push off chores or homework until later and they'll use their free time to go play. Sometimes, they'll really want to watch TV or play a game so they'll get everything done early so they have extra time. It all workes out in the end.

[*bejeweled*]

Yes, but sometimes when it is something simple. It's really important to me because my mother never allowed me to help in the kitchen or really taught me to cook. It really is something I missed out on---that mother/daughter collaboration.

[rainyday]

Originally Posted by mystic~mama

DD is 7 1/2 and is a loud talker and high energy / doesn't stand still for too long. Likes to be fidgety on her step stool..I feel on edge working with her and like I am being crowded

I feel like this sometimes too. I find it helpful to give my ds his own space to work a bit away from me if I'm feeling tense like this. So, I might give 7 yo ds some celery, a knife, and a cutting board, and have him work on another part of the counter. Or maybe he can grate cheese while I'm prepping something else.

What someone else said about big bowls - definitely use a bigger bowl than you'd normally use when making baked items. It does help.

But my best advice is to just take a deep breath and step back sometimes. If you're making cookies with her just for fun out of her new cookbook, then let her take the lead on it. Get yourself in the mental space of following her lead. Let her read the recipe and put it together (I find my ds still needs help following where he is in the recipe and making sure he gets all the ingredients for each step), helping as needed to keep it going and make sure the sugar isn't left out or something! Then let her do the cutting out and putting the cut cookies on the sheet. So what if they're not perfect? If she wants help, help, but keep in the mental space of helper not primary cook.

I don't know if that will help you, but I do find that it helps me a lot to prepare mentally before cooking with DS. It also helps me to clear away any clutter that's sitting around, so that neither he nor I has that added stimulation.