Why don't more people do EC?

[OperaDiva]

Today was our first day doing full time EC now that we got a BBLP, and I would call it a rousing success! We had mostly catches, only 2 misses (1 pee and 1 poo/pee). I did put him on a few times for just gas, but he seemed a lot more comfortable afterward, so I didn't mind We had tried a few times before, but DS didn't like being held over the sink/toilet.

I think so many more people would do this if they knew how easy it was, it is the only no-stress potty training method I've ever heard of (obviously I know it's not technically "training", just communicating)! It is fantastic to only have 3 wet/dirty diapers from the entire day, including the overnight one!

[zoebird]

i agree.

but i think that a lot of people see it as a lot harder than it is, or unnecessary, or just an added task that would make their lives more difficult.

what i have found is that my life is actually quite easy. very few dipes to buy or to clean, easy-easy-easy clean up after pee/poo (i seriously just used my last disposable wipe yesterday wiping down a table after our lunch so that we could put our computer on it--and i'd had that bag of wipes for more than 6 months at least!). because i breast feed and did baby lead weaning, no bottles, mixing or special cooking for him, no baby food, and so on.

continuum concept, cosleeping and baby wearing and such, no baby proofing needed.

seriously, my mom says that it shouldn't be so easy, but i make it look easy. and i say that it IS easy this way.

it's just easier. i have so much less to do than other moms and dads i know. i know that they get into their grooves too--so it's easy for them. but i see how many more steps they go through, etc. it's wild.

[emmaegbert]

Well, I think more people don't give it a go b/c they don't know about it or it sounds overwhelming to them. Also some people are really (irrationally, IMO) freaked out by bodily fluids and by nudity. Also, the way it gets described sounds crazy hard, I think. I didn't realize you could do EC, say, just at home until I actually read a whole book about it.

I'd never heard of it with my first so even though we started potty learning really early by mainstream standards (15m) it was b/c he actually expressed displeasure at wet diapers, not because I knew there was any sort of system or movement or whatever it is.

Now with #2 I've been doing p/t EC. Its too hard to do it out of the house, so I let go of that (for now anyway). My little girl was mostly catches for a while, now at 8m we have many days with only 1 or 2 catches, but we keep it up b/c its easy enough to give her a chance to use the potty, and it sure is nice not to clean up poo. Without trying it I never would have realized how easy it can be- as long as there is no pressure on me to be perfect at it or anything.

Kids are all different, as well as parents. I babywear and cosleep and do all that AP stuff, both my kids are monkeys and extremely investigative... I still have to do some babyproofing just to slow them down with the really dangerous stuff. Maybe some kids really refuse the potty? Who am I to say what really best meets the needs of other families...

Anyway... think of how many people can't handle the thought of cloth diapers... or, worse, who think breastfeeding is gross... EC just probably sounds way too "out there" for lots of people.

[isabchi]

Just my though...'casue EC is not business for the big industry. It's a huge business to have a baby in dispo for 2-3 years o more. For EC you don't "need"any especial equipment. If you just save just one diaper per baby do the math....

[emmaegbert]

well, sadly I think a lot of people do view having a baby as one big shopping experience. we live in a very consumerist culture and things that go against that do end up being marginalized as strange and "incovenient". If people had to hang onto all those thousands of dirty diapers for any length of time (like, if we didn't have invisible-to-us places for all our waste) is sure wouldn't seem that they were convenient...

oh well! like I said before, I've encountered plenty of people who act like I'm crazy enough for using cloth diapers. (however, I have converted my mom, who still will constantly ask if I want her to buy me the sposies- maybe she thinks its b/c I am saving money- but she thinks EC is the greatest, and she also is completely on board with the modern cloth dipes, she says they are a gigantic improvement over what she had me in)

[beansmama]

I briefly considered EC'ing but honestly, I don't have the desire, time or patience. I have no problem with my prefold routine

And, for the record, I am not obsessed with buying diapers like a lot of people. I have prefolds and thirsties covers. That's it.

[zoebird]

it is so interesting, too, how we are all different.

And, i can understand not having the desire.

I dno't think the time is much different in and of itself. i mean, if you miss, it's the same as if you didn't EC, and if you don't miss, it takes about the same amount of time to get him to the toilet, undo him, and potty him, get him back dressed and out, as it does when i change a miss. i don't see much of a difference in time that way, and i do see time saved in not having as much laundry (we had a lot more laundry those first few months when there were a lot of misses).

but, i say, if it's easier for you not to, and you feel that it saves you time and makes your life easy, the diaper away!

similarly, i found it easier to do EC out of the house than in. when i was in, i was more distracted by what i was doing around the house that i wouldn't necessarily act on the signals or even see them.

but when i was out, i was able to focus on him in addition to whatever else i was doing (not as distracting an activity), take him to the toilet, and go from there. Early on, i had fewer misses when i was out during the day than when i was in!

now, home and out are the same for me (and were after a few weeks anyway). but, we pretty much always use dipe (soon to be trainer) back up, and we don't really night EC per se (now we do; my son demands it--he gets up and knocks on the bathroom door, so DH gets up and takes him).

it's fun really. . .or at least, for me it is.

(and PS, i don't think anyone who dipes is obcessed with buying them. i just note that you have to buy a good number of them, just as since we stil have misses and are moving to trainers, i am like. . .how many do i need to buy at $18 per? ack!).

[InMediasRes]

You know, it's funny. I thought for a while that since I was so excited about EC that everyone else should be too!

But then it got hard. Yeah, it was really easy at the beginning, but now we have whole days where I miss everything, and she arches her back and signs "all done" the second we step into the bathroom, then pees in her diaper 5 seconds later. I still catch everything at night, which gives me hope, but yeah, it can get really frustrating and time consuming.

For me, EC is FUN. That is the biggest reason I do it. But my fun is someone else's hassle, so .

[AntoninBeGonin]

I loved the idea of EC, I read a couple of books, bought stuff from the EC store. In the end, since DH wasn't on board I never technically did it with our kids. At the same time, they were both naked 99% of the time in the house before two years old so it ended up being about the same.

[pixiepunk]

Originally Posted by zoebird

it is so interesting, too, how we are all different.

And, i can understand not having the desire.

I dno't think the time is much different in and of itself. i mean, if you miss, it's the same as if you didn't EC, and if you don't miss, it takes about the same amount of time to get him to the toilet, undo him, and potty him, get him back dressed and out, as it does when i change a miss. i don't see much of a difference in time that way, and i do see time saved in not having as much laundry (we had a lot more laundry those first few months when there were a lot of misses).

but, i say, if it's easier for you not to, and you feel that it saves you time and makes your life easy, the diaper away!

similarly, i found it easier to do EC out of the house than in. when i was in, i was more distracted by what i was doing around the house that i wouldn't necessarily act on the signals or even see them.

but when i was out, i was able to focus on him in addition to whatever else i was doing (not as distracting an activity), take him to the toilet, and go from there. Early on, i had fewer misses when i was out during the day than when i was in!

now, home and out are the same for me (and were after a few weeks anyway). but, we pretty much always use dipe (soon to be trainer) back up, and we don't really night EC per se (now we do; my son demands it--he gets up and knocks on the bathroom door, so DH gets up and takes him).

it's fun really. . .or at least, for me it is.

(and PS, i don't think anyone who dipes is obcessed with buying them. i just note that you have to buy a good number of them, just as since we stil have misses and are moving to trainers, i am like. . .how many do i need to buy at $18 per? ack!).

that is assuming that a person who is diapering changes after every pee. that's a pretty big assumption to make. i know that when i was diapering DD1, before i knew about EC, i *thought* i was changing after every wet - but that was based on people telling me that babies pee like every 2 hours i thought you *had* to use a diaper cover or the pee would just go right through or something (i know, i was clueless ) and once i began EC'ing i looked back realizing that, especially in the mornings, i was probably changing more like every 2nd or 3rd pee. if you're not tuning yourself into elimination patterns, you really are flying blind. i would often stick my finger in the side to see if it was wet. if it wasn't, i assumed she was dry... but now i know that often one wet with a thick diaper only makes a small wet spot in the center of the diaper. taking the diaper covers off changed everything - i did that before i started EC'ing, but it really made me realize how many times a day she actually went and i felt awful about having let her sit in so many wet diapers unwittingly. and that was me, trying to be super conscientious about it. i had friends who sposie diapered and i would change DD1 2or 3 times between times they changed their LO. when you are only changing like 4 or 5 diapers a day at your leisure, EC is most definitely more work than that, though of course people who diaper that way tend to be the ones with kids still in diapers at 3 and 4 yo... so when you add up the total number of diaper changes... and add to that the potty training struggles and the smeared toddle poop... i'll take EC any day of the week!

so anyway, ITA that it's not a lot of work, definitely not as it's perceived to be at any rate. and frankly the poop alone makes it a lot less work. i can probably count on two hands the number of poo misses we've had since she was about 6 months old, and most of those happened in a short period of time when she was learning to walk and cutting teeth. in most ways, EC has been incredibly liberating for me, not a burden at all.

people do have weird perceptions about EC though... many think it's really messy and filthy, for example, when IMO it's soooo much more hygienic. they think you have to sit around and stare at your baby all day waiting for some elusive 'signal' when of course knowing when your LO needs to potty is much like knowing when your LO is hungry or tired... you just know, their subtle body language that others would easily miss are like neon signs to the mama. it's also so contrary to our popular culture that people just thinks it's weird because it's different. but having now graduated 3 from EC, people are always asking me for advice and are amazed at how young my kids were when we ditched diapers/trainers. it might be a little more work up front, but the pay off for me was absolutely zero potty struggles with my kids, no desire to bribe, no stress, and that was worth any additional effort i may have put in.

[annethcz]

My kids are long past the diapering/EC stage. I heard about ECing when I was pregnant with my first child- 10 years ago. I tried it, and it was hard. I'm not sure if I wasn't patient enough or if I just wasn't in tune with him, but it never worked out the way that the books and websites said it should. I tried with subsequent children, but we were out of the house so much that it never worked either.

I think there's broad awareness of EC within the AP community, but I've met up with a lot of people who have tried it and come to the conclusion that it just wasn't a good fit for their familiy.

[MyZoeJane]

I'm having a hard time committing to the idea of EC and I think it's largely due to the fact that my DD6 was so super easy to get out of diapers. By the time she was two, she started asking to sit on the potty. If she went, I got super excited and gave her a sticker to put on her piece of paper on the fridge. If she didn't go, I certainly didn't worry about it. By the time she was two and a half she was completely out of diapers. She had about five accidents from the time she was in training pants to the time she was in underwear and accident free.

Sooooooo.... here I sit with my three month old son wondering, should I try to pay more attention to his pottying signals and give EC a shot? Because at this point, though I wear him a lot and co-sleep with him, I don't see any pattern or signals of him pottying other than him taking 2-3 big poops each morning after he wakes up. He pees all day long and while he is sleeping and I have not seen any "face" or cue.

Though I've noticed over the past couple of weeks that he will wake up, nurse, play, get bathed, then after his bath I will put on a clean dipe, he will fill it up, then I'll change it right away only to have him fill another one within 15 minutes! I just can't find it in myself to let him sit in that first poop for the 15 minutes it takes for him to produce another one... and several times he has loaded THREE diapers with poop within 30 minutes!

I ordered the BBLP and it should arrive tomorrow... I guess I'll start with just that morning poop. I can at the very least commit to leaving him diaperless for those 30 minutes after his bath and have him hovering on the potty instead!

Woah, a bit of a ramble there!

[OperaDiva]

Ali, the early morning poops are a great thing to start off knowing! We've been doing a lot of timing in addition to cues, so if DS is still dry about 40 minutes after his last potty, i'll watch more closely, and even a little fuss or grunt could be a cue, so I take him. We had mostly catches in the AM, mostly misses in the PM yesterday. I still had about the same number of diapers to wash as I did before EC, but none were soaked, just 1 pee each.

[Anna's Lovey]

Um, maybe some people tried and failed miserably?
(Sorry still bitter)

[zoebird]

that could be part of it.

but i think that it needs to be reframed. it really isn't a 'failure.' imo, it's an adaptation to what works for you and your family.

one of my dear friends knew a lot of ECers, was interested in EC, and tried EC. but she was totally stressed out by it. she had a lot of misses, and that increased her stress. she found herself spending so much time thinking about ECing, that she didn't just enjoy and play with her child.

so she gave it up.

no big deal, yk? her kids were potty trained no problem, and she and her boys were happier because she wasn't so freaked out over diapers, etc.

so if it isn't working out, that's totally ok. there's always "credit" for effort-- -- and of course, you just find what works best for you.

[pixiepunk]

i also think a lot of people don't realize how many different ways there are to practice EC. it isn't full-time, diaper-free, 24-7 from the moment of birth or nothing. people start late, do it part-time, take breaks, use diapers. even if you just take the diaper covers off and change immediately and help keep the awareness and keep the child from learning to be comfortable in a wet diaper you are doing something that benefits your child. i think a lot of people try to go whole hog, get frustrated when it doesn't click right away, and then unfortunately totally give up and stick a diaper on and ignore elimination all together. there are a lot of happy places in between. and this is where i think, much like breastfeeding and co-sleeping and babywearing, if you have information and support and advice from people who have done it, you're a lot more likely to succeed.

none of that means that anyone has to do it or that there's something wrong with them if they stop... i just think that a lot more people would stick with it if they had help, and understood they could do it in a variety of ways that might better suit their lifestyle.

[zoebird]

i think that's true.

i remember in that first few days of trying with hawk, after we got nursing settled, and i was rather confused, frustrated, etc. in his first week--getting the nursing going--i just diapered him and changed as soon as he was wet. so, i'd 'gotten used to' diapers in a way.

then, i wanted to move into EC. i had a number of days where i didn't catch a thing, didn't see a signal of any sort, etc. it was weird. i'm lucky that i have a local EC group to get support, as well as on here. so, i emailed my group and they gave me all kinds of support, ideas, and suggestions.

i still used diapers as back up because it worked for me, but i also learned to EC and quickly got to the point where there were very few misses. then, i started watching the pattern of how developmental milestones, teeth, and unheaval (stress) can cause potty pauses or irregular signalling, etc. and so i relaxed more and just went with the flow.

but, yeah, i could have given up, and i could have given up on nursing too. and it would have been OK to have done so--not the end of the world. but with support, i was able to succeed in a way that makes sense *for us.*

[weliveintheforest]

I think for some people, it really is too much trouble.
If someone has 3 kids in 4 years, she really may not have time to always be offering the potty to her infant, or to be cleaning up misses from a baby and a toddler. It is much easier in some cases to have the baby in a diaper, even if it means lack of connection to their elimination needs.

And in other cases, it just looks harder than it is and puts people off. I'm sure I've put people off it when they see or hear about all the times I have been peed on or had to clean up misses. There is also pressure not to 'be weird' or to push the baby into potty training too early.

[4Blessings]

I've read a lot about EC and I still just don't get it or how it could/would work for our family. I'm happy with our prefolds and covers. Baby spends plenty of naked time.

[Serenyd]

NM, don't want to hijack thread!