Want to keep bedsharing but not sure how!

[sunfish21]

DD is now 21 months and has never been a good sleeper. I recently night weaned her and she wakes up much less in the middle of the night, but now bedtime is our struggle. To be fair, I understand that I "created the monster" that I am now struggling with; I nursed and rocked her to sleep for months this past summer and fall. Now, the only way we have a calm bedtime is if I rock her to sleep or (sometimes) I can rock her until she is almost asleep but carry her to our bed and lay down with her until she falls asleep.

If put to bed awake, she climbs out of the bed and runs into the living room repeatedly; suddenly needs to go potty on her chair or needs to eat (puffs and raisins, mama)....I have even, after several warnings, put her in the crib that I have in our room (she used to go to bed awake in it, and then I would bring her to bed with me at her first wake up but we haven't used it since early summer). I don't want the crib to be used as a punishment as she was sleeping well in it and I don't want to create negative associations with it in case we need to start using it again, but I am not sure what to do.

I am a single mama, so no-one is there is help at bedtime. Also, we are in a loft apartment and there are no doors; our "bedroom" is around a corner with a fabric "wall" but there are no doors to shut, etc... I am 7 months pregnant and really want to get DD going to bed a little easier for all of our sakes, and that is the other reason that I don't want the crib to be a bad thing. I am not sure if I can bedshare with a toddler and newborn--and no other adult to help wrangle.

I really need a little time alone at the end of the day, but our bedtime mess often takes two hours and by then I just want to sleep. I think creating a little time for me is a good thing...any advice?

[rzberrymom]

What does your bedtime routine look like? The bedtime routine was always key for us.

Often, when I couldn't get my DD to sleep any other way and I was really desperate, I'd take her outside for a walk. It helped her fall asleep, and I got a nice walk. I used a carrier, but since you're 7 months pregnant maybe a stroller walk would work?

I remember that being a hard age--nursing to sleep didn't work with my DD anymore, and yet she had trouble calming down and lying still to fall asleep.

[sunfish21]

Originally Posted by rzberrymom

What does your bedtime routine look like? The bedtime routine was always key for us.

Often, when I couldn't get my DD to sleep any other way and I was really desperate, I'd take her outside for a walk. It helped her fall asleep, and I got a nice walk. I used a carrier, but since you're 7 months pregnant maybe a stroller walk would work?

Ahh--the bedtime routine seems to have gone away when I started rocking her to sleep. Previously, we had lotion and jammies, stories and rocking...I need to get back into that. Hopefully it would start the calming down process....

You must live somewhere warm, rzberrymom; it was 18 below this AM when I woke up. We actually haven't been able to play outside for over a week (I am waiting until the upper 20's or 30's before we head out)! But with the snow I don't think we could use a stroller for awhile now. Come to think of it, several months ago she was falling asleep for naps in the stroller....good thinking!

Tonight we rocked and nursed until she was very sleepy and then I took her to the bed and laid there with her until she was almost asleep and then kissed her and said good night and left. It has been 20 minutes and I haven't heard a peep. I might need to slow down and be more patient; making gradual changes instead of letting my frustration build and wanting things different yesterday!