Do you ask friends why they are being induced?

[Freeman]

I've had several friends & acquaintances say in the past that they're planning on being induced b/c it fits better with their schedule, their doctor's schedule, b/c they are uncomfortable and "ready to be done," etc. Do you take the opportunity to say that you believe that babies generally come when they are ready, or do you just let it go? I try to be non-judgmental and have a "to each her own" mentality generally, but sometimes I just wonder if they have thought it through...Then there are the stories of the inductions that end in c-sections b/c the mother "wasn't dilating," or induced babies born with breathing problems, etc. I wonder if the mother & others considered that maybe it wasn't time for the baby to be born yet? (I realize, of course, that spontaneous labors also can result in not dilating and babies born with breathing problems and that induction is sometimes essential for medical reasons).

[scottishmommy]

i never say anything to people about their birth choices (although i do think a lot about them!). i figure that if i did the research and made my own choices, then so can they. i would think that a pregnant woman would take the time to read about the risks of "convenience" inductions. i mean it isn't that hard to find info on such things (web md anyone?). i do however, preach a little to women who haven't been pregnant yet. they tend to be a little more open minded. on a side note, non medical inductions don't make any sense to me. while i was really uncomfortable at nine months, i was a heck of a lot more uncomfortable after my baby was born (LOL). i also think that people need to realize that after their baby is born, nothing will ever be convenient again! better to give up control during pregnancy.

[Turquesa]

I don't ask them, per say, but I do tell me story. I frame it as this: "Well, my experience was just like yours in that I was so ready to be done. Induction sounded really tempting, but I did some research on the risks and decided it wasn't for me."

If that piques their interest, I elaborate. But if they're resolute in their decision, I leave them alone. I open the door for people to learn, but I leave it up to them whether or not to enter.

[Grace and Granola]

I like to ask why because I'm curious. I was induced with my first a week late because I was basically scared into it. So, if that's the reason, I do add that even though they told me I was going to have a colossal baby, he came out at 8#2oz at one week late...so the u/s is not always accurate. But that's about it. I don't get alot of people talking about induction for convenience sake, more about ready to be done and they're already going past 40 weeks, so I don't judge. I did it.

[laughingfox]

As a friend, I want to be there for them, so I ask and we talk.
I know that a lot of them feel really pressured into these things, and I don't want to be another source of stress. I try to be mostly supportive, while also trying to let them know that an induction on your due date or a few days later simply because "it's time" isn't always the most logical course of action.
It's a hard to be supportive of someone who has already resigned themselves to a course of action they feel forced into, while also making it clear that they do have other options, but I try.

[noobmom]

I've never had a friend who was induced early, so I don't know for sure what I would say. But I think I might say something along the lines of, "I prefer to wait." It might lead to a conversation, it might not. But I don't see a reason to keep my opinion to myself with friends (strangers would be different).

After the fact, esp. if they have a baby who has problems from being born to early or a labor which didn't progress, I would never say anything. More than likely they already know that being induced was a contributing factor and there is no reason to pour salt on their wounds.

[Freeman]

Originally Posted by noobmom

After the fact, esp. if they have a baby who has problems from being born to early or a labor which didn't progress, I would never say anything. More than likely they already know that being induced was a contributing factor and there is no reason to pour salt on their wounds.

Right, nor would I. I have a friend whose doctor actually said as much - that were she to do it over again, she would not have induced her.

I personally have never lectured anyone or preached to anyone why they shouldn't be induced for convenience sake, or b/c they are experiencing the discomforts of pregnancy. However, I have had people ask me whether I "plan to go early" b/c I've had large babies in the past, or, if I've not had the baby right at the due date, ask when I will be induced...I have felt like the "odd person out" in the sense that I haven't asked to be induced, etc., which makes me wonder if they have thought about the fact that humans have produced offspring for ages without inductions and that perhaps our bodies and our babies know when the babies are supposed to be born...Anyway, since I've felt as though I am in the minority, I haven't brought it up...but it seems like others think that their choice to be induced makes perfect sense and that my view is ludicrous - that if their doctors are willing to do it, it must be okay (and in most cases, it does turn out okay). So, I tend to keep it to myself...

Originally Posted by scottishmommy

i figure that if i did the research and made my own choices, then so can they. i would think that a pregnant woman would take the time to read about the risks of "convenience" inductions. i mean it isn't that hard to find info on such things (web md anyone?).

True, but I do think that a lot of people trust their doctors implicitly instead of doing outside research, though.

[KatWozBlue]

Its interesting because I am pg with my third and this is the third OB I have used (we keep moving) and all three were anti induction, this last one, somehow the word came up and she said "Oh, we don't do that unless there is a medical reason such as high blood pressure, etc" and when someone tells me they are being induced early (like my sister in law who just wanted it over with) I always say "Your doctor will do it? None of mine would ever even discuss it because they didn't like the risks". Usually they look confused and I always wonder, did you not google "induction" before you agreed to do it?

[Freeman]

Originally Posted by KatWozBlue

Its interesting because I am pg with my third and this is the third OB I have used (we keep moving) and all three were anti induction, this last one, somehow the word came up and she said "Oh, we don't do that unless there is a medical reason such as high blood pressure, etc" and when someone tells me they are being induced early (like my sister in law who just wanted it over with) I always say "Your doctor will do it? None of mine would ever even discuss it because they didn't like the risks". Usually they look confused and I always wonder, did you not google "induction" before you agreed to do it?

The doctors I used in the past didn't generally do it, either. However, several seem to. I've heard of several scheduling inductions b/c "that's when my doctor is on call" or "when she can deliver me," etc. It's great to have a good relationship with your doctor, but should it result in an induction just so that doctor can deliver you? I just wonder if a certain amount of common sense and the idea that this is supposed to be a natural process have gone out the window..and that I'm definitely in the minority. I guess since I've felt like "the other" in my group of friends, I've wondered if I should actually explain a little bit about why I think as I do...but don't want to come across as preachy, etc.

[JennTheMomma]

Everyone who has talked to me about induction has normally said "I was induced, because ____". The most common reason is because they hit the 41 week mark, or "failure" to dialate.

[caned & able]

I ask what their Bishops Score is. That always throws them for a loop...

[fwlady]

I haven't had too many induction convos with my friends, although I don't have a huge circle. And, many of us have many children, so we don't hang out a lot. I have asked them out of curiousity. But, usually, they have always heard that I have had babies 10-26 days late. Many ppl that hear me say that I have had 3 over 3 wks late, they will ask in amazement. "Your dr let you long!" or "My doctor would never let me go that long." And, I shrug and say that I don't get a drs permission. My babies are all healthy overdue babies, and they aren't that big either.

But, this one, I may have to go in tonight and decide if now is a good time to either induce or RCS. We have been putting it off and my BP is just not staying where it was. I am 15 days overdue today. I would NEVER have considered it before this PG. Kymberli

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by scottishmommy

i also think that people need to realize that after their baby is born, nothing will ever be convenient again! better to give up control during pregnancy.

Yeah, we had some helpful people suggest allowing the baby to go to the nursery at the hospital so you can sleep. They actually said, "Take the opportunity to get one more good night's sleep!"

Um, yeah, cuz as soon as I go home from the hospital, I'm going to be up often at night for a long time, so what really is the point in delaying that by 1 or 2 more nights? I figure the last night before I go into labor will just be the last good night's sleep. oh, no, wait! 2nd trimester was the last good night's sleep!

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by Freeman

True, but I do think that a lot of people trust their doctors implicitly instead of doing outside research, though.

Um, yeah

I had one co-worker get induced at 41W 0D, because, and I quote, "I'm having trouble sleeping, and I'm just ready."
Yeah, cuz you're gonna sleep so well once you have that newborn to care for!

I asked her how they induce. (We were friendly enough & had talked birth before. She was actually going to the same practice of OBs I went to before I learned the truth & switched to MWs at 24W!) I said, "cytotec? foley cathether? Pit? AROM?"

She said, and again, I quote, "Um, I dunno. I think that pick-o something." Seriously, she didn't even know what pitocin really was. I'm sure she had no clue about the risks. Oooor - she probably knew what her OB told her - that induction has risks, like increasing CS rate, but "post-dates" pregnancy has risks too - and more scary risks like stillbirth!!!!!!!!!! (Nevermind the respective rates of risks.)

Personally, I say something about the risks. I can't keep my mouth shut. The practice of maternity "care" in America today infuriates me. Absolutely, downright, infuriates me & I have trouble keeping quiet.

I'm sure I've annoyed people before. But I do also know I've had a positive influence & informed people. The risk of annoying someone is worth taking in the hopes that I could help. (Although I'm reasonable about it, I'll say a little something & if they seem dismissive or annoyed, I'll zip it.)

[jess152]

Originally Posted by caned & able

I ask what their Bishops Score is. That always throws them for a loop...

Good one!!

[elanorh]

I usually ask, "Why?" and go from there.

Dh has a cousin with some sort of medical condition which means that her babies have been induced (a clotting thing maybe?) -- I don't remember what it is. She's given birth twice now with a pit/AROM induction and no pain medications; lucky it didn't end in c/s, but she's a trooper for doing pain-med-free inductions.

My sister was induced with her second. Her doctor doesn't usually 'do' inductions, but she was past her due date (by a day) and he was going to a conference, and sister didn't want anyone else to deliver (he's very pro-NCB and has his own practice) --- also she said that she was just terribly bothered by the second pregnancy and sore. I will admit I was a bit less circumspect with her - I asked her, didn't she know about the increased risk of c/s with inductions, etc? She said that her doctor wouldn't do it if it wasn't safe, and she was past her due date, so what was the big deal. And then as her 'proof' that her induction was necessary, her babe was 24 inches long and 9 pounds -- and 'way more difficult to deliver than his sister.' She's adamant that the difficulty had nothing to do with the pitocin/AROM. I don't debate it with her or anyone else -- they're all convinced that the induction was absolutely necessary because babe was so long and big.

Other than that, the people I've known who've been induced have all been 'past due dates,' so not inducing because of convenience, but rather because of the Dead Baby Card I think.

[Plummeting]

It depends on my relationship with someone. If one of my sisters told me she was being induced, I'd ask why and give them any relevant information. If it was just a friend, other than maybe one of my two or three very best friends, I'd ask why out of curiosity, but that's it. I wouldn't throw in my two cents or anything. Nobody likes a know-it-all. Unfortunately. lol

[34me]

I have to admit but whenever we sit around talking about birth I let them know that I was induced December 27th (because of my health, I had developed phlebitis and hadedn't peed more than once a day in a week) and dd was born January 10th. The pit was just enough to relieve some of the pressure so I could get rid of some fluid.

[mommac2006]

I have to admit, this is a hot topic for me. Its hard for me not to voice my experience and the research that I have done. If I had known back in 2006 what I know now, I am quite certain things would be different. I throw that out there for my uninformed friends to chew on. If they decide that they know better just because their doctor says so, then I'll just have to leave it to that and hope I don't come off being condescending. There's always going to be the naysayers about going over their due dates and etc, but in the end, have they really considered the risks of induction? It truly saddens me because my births didn't go as planned, but then there are the lucky ones who seem to do just fine by their decisions without a regret. I guess I'll just have to learn not to let this button be pushed because I almost start to debate people over it.

[MamaMelis]

Originally Posted by Plummeting

It depends on my relationship with someone. If one of my sisters told me she was being induced, I'd ask why and give them any relevant information. If it was just a friend, other than maybe one of my two or three very best friends, I'd ask why out of curiosity, but that's it. I wouldn't throw in my two cents or anything. Nobody likes a know-it-all. Unfortunately. lol

This! Whenever someone ASKS me my opinion (and I used to be a doula and am outspoken about my love of birth/pregnancy/babies, so I get asked related things frequently by my girlfriends) I love love to share it.......however, when they don't I value my friends intelligence enough to not interject my opinion on their experience.