good days and bad

[tri31]

I am concerned about the effects of grief, during pregnancy. I don't really think I am depressed, more stressed. My family is experiencing the rapid decline of our young mother (frontal temporal lobe dementia). This disease has progressed very quickly. Am I stressing the baby when I am sad? My midwife says it's okay to cry. I still try to shrug things off. I have a tendency to be worried about everything lately (my teens, finances). How do you relax? My sisters and I are a pretty good support system for each other. I pray allot. Still, have you any advice on stress? Got a good meditation or mantra?

[staceychev]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this during what should be a happy time!

Is it possible for you to take a pre-natal yoga class? I think that taking a class (as opposed to doing a DVD at home) would be great for you, because it would get you out of your environment and solely focused on yours and your babe's well-being.

Keep focused on your nutrition, too. Eat lots of good fats, which are so good for mood stabilization, and stay away from processed foods, sugars, and caffeine as much as you can. (I know... easier said than done.)

Also know that babies have been made and born during the most trying times in history. We humans are resilient, or else we wouldn't still be here.

[jsh7809]

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, what a tough time your family must be having! I think as long as you are doing whatever you can to take care of yourself, the baby will be healthy and flourish too. I know there have been times when I've gotten distressed/ upset and then felt guilty about it affecting the baby/ pregnancy, but life is life, and you can only do your best, especially in such dire circumstances.
I second the prenatal yoga, as well as nice, slow, long walks to give your body a chance to relax with exercise (I know it always helps my state of mind, too). Lots of sleep, if you can. And maybe some counseling will help, too.
I'm sure crying doesn't hurt, and it is probably much healthier that you are aware of the effect your mom's situation has on you and the baby than if you were to try to bottle up your worries, fears, sadness, and stresses. I would cry and grieve and do what you have to do, and just make sure you take as much time as you can (even if it's a few minutes a day) to also connect with the baby/ pregnancy, try to focus on the new life that's being created even while your mother's life story is closing, and to try to give yourself a break when you need to.
Best wishes for your family.

[naturegirl419]

I agree with jsh7809 that allowing yourself the space to cry is important and actually much healthier for your body than not letting yourself experience what you are feeling. Shrugging it off may be good in some instances, but you also don't want to deny yourself your feelings. There is a release that happens, physically and emotionally, when we allow ourselves to cry. If that energy isn't released it stays in the body and can create catecholomines (a fancy word for stress hormones).

Hugs mama, I wish you some peace and lightness and am happy that you and your sister have each other.

[MaerynPearl]

I also agree, crying is healthier than not crying. I think the worst risk you run if you cry a lot is dehydration, really... it helps you to release some of the stress which really is a lot healthier than balling it up! Finding other ways to release it (as was suggested, yoga and others) is healthy as well, but I would still allow myself to cry!