http://www.mothering.com/bashful-bra...ders-manifesto
I just read the above article and found it to be very educational, encouraging, and thought provoking. Now I want to find out what other people think about the thoughts it provoked for me.
I am a new mom-- my baby girl is 6 weeks old. Breastfeeding is going wonderfully for us but we still have our moments when we struggle to get a good latch or she fusses at the breast (I have over-active letdown, so sometimes she fusses because she is drowning).
We spend most of our time at home so I am usually nursing with no one but my husband and dogs looking on. I don't feel at all embarrassed about having my breast exposed in my home and in my mind, the breast is completely desexualized in the context of feeding my child.
When we have had company over, I have moved to the bedroom to nurse. I did this because I was still not confident in nursing and “out of respect” for the company.
Over the holidays I tested out nursing in front of family. When the baby was hungry, I fed her-- simple as that. I was discreet while she latched on and turned my body away from the group while she ate. I felt like it went really well. No one commented about it at all-- which I guess is the right response because the whole point is that it is normal and natural and so it should go unnoticed.
On the way back home from the holidays there was a minor incident where I wanted to nurse in a fast food restaurant and the hubs wanted to eat in the car. We have been nursing in the car a lot because it is often the most comfortable place for me to sit and nurse and because I had not given much thought to nursing in public. Since this incident was the first time I had garnered enough gumption to nurse in public, and since I felt that I was not being supported in that decision, I got pissed off. My husband is very supportive of breastfeeding but also very aware of not interfering with other peoples' lives. He feels that, although there is nothing wrong with nursing in public, it is not our job to change minds. I am beginning to feel otherwise.
This is something I am beginning to feel strongly about and therefore feel like I need to take a stand. You can see that my progression to this point was slow, but I am becoming more adamant about this. How will society become comfortable with breastfeeding if they never see it? I feel like I have as much of a right to feed my child in a any place as a mother with a bottle. Would a mother with a bottle put a blanket over her baby's face? Would she feed her child in the car rather than in the restaurant? Why should my baby and I slink away in shame when it's the public's perversion with the breast that makes them uncomfortable?
I realize that culture and societal beliefs are not easy to change and they are deeply engrained-- but they will change and it just takes time and small changes within. The fear of breastfeeding won't ever go away is more mothers don't start nursing in public.
Now on to the hypocritical, dark side of my new brazen self. I own a small business, a cafe, in a very small town. I spend time there with the baby now but will be spending more time there in the future. Right now, I feed the baby in my office with a little sign on the closed door that has the baby-friendly breastfeeding symbol on it. I see the irony in this-- trust me-- I do. But I am afraid to make a bold statement in the place that is so tied to my livelihood and my reputation. I am so angry that I feel afraid; I shouldn't have to be afraid, but I am.
So I am wondering... Am I just a hypocritical coward? Are there some public places where you do not nurse? Are you discreet, brazen, private, political?
This is long... I know. You get points just for reading this far.
I just read the above article and found it to be very educational, encouraging, and thought provoking. Now I want to find out what other people think about the thoughts it provoked for me.
I am a new mom-- my baby girl is 6 weeks old. Breastfeeding is going wonderfully for us but we still have our moments when we struggle to get a good latch or she fusses at the breast (I have over-active letdown, so sometimes she fusses because she is drowning).
We spend most of our time at home so I am usually nursing with no one but my husband and dogs looking on. I don't feel at all embarrassed about having my breast exposed in my home and in my mind, the breast is completely desexualized in the context of feeding my child.
When we have had company over, I have moved to the bedroom to nurse. I did this because I was still not confident in nursing and “out of respect” for the company.
Over the holidays I tested out nursing in front of family. When the baby was hungry, I fed her-- simple as that. I was discreet while she latched on and turned my body away from the group while she ate. I felt like it went really well. No one commented about it at all-- which I guess is the right response because the whole point is that it is normal and natural and so it should go unnoticed.
On the way back home from the holidays there was a minor incident where I wanted to nurse in a fast food restaurant and the hubs wanted to eat in the car. We have been nursing in the car a lot because it is often the most comfortable place for me to sit and nurse and because I had not given much thought to nursing in public. Since this incident was the first time I had garnered enough gumption to nurse in public, and since I felt that I was not being supported in that decision, I got pissed off. My husband is very supportive of breastfeeding but also very aware of not interfering with other peoples' lives. He feels that, although there is nothing wrong with nursing in public, it is not our job to change minds. I am beginning to feel otherwise.
This is something I am beginning to feel strongly about and therefore feel like I need to take a stand. You can see that my progression to this point was slow, but I am becoming more adamant about this. How will society become comfortable with breastfeeding if they never see it? I feel like I have as much of a right to feed my child in a any place as a mother with a bottle. Would a mother with a bottle put a blanket over her baby's face? Would she feed her child in the car rather than in the restaurant? Why should my baby and I slink away in shame when it's the public's perversion with the breast that makes them uncomfortable?
I realize that culture and societal beliefs are not easy to change and they are deeply engrained-- but they will change and it just takes time and small changes within. The fear of breastfeeding won't ever go away is more mothers don't start nursing in public.
Now on to the hypocritical, dark side of my new brazen self. I own a small business, a cafe, in a very small town. I spend time there with the baby now but will be spending more time there in the future. Right now, I feed the baby in my office with a little sign on the closed door that has the baby-friendly breastfeeding symbol on it. I see the irony in this-- trust me-- I do. But I am afraid to make a bold statement in the place that is so tied to my livelihood and my reputation. I am so angry that I feel afraid; I shouldn't have to be afraid, but I am.
So I am wondering... Am I just a hypocritical coward? Are there some public places where you do not nurse? Are you discreet, brazen, private, political?
This is long... I know. You get points just for reading this far.
I was secretly excited when a security guard in the airport harassed me for NIPing, so I could remind him of my baby's right to eat wherever I have the right to be.
