We just finished reading chapter 6 in UP and after reading the baker's dozen we discussed it before heading to bed. Almost immediately, dh forgot what we read and stated that he needed to go to the comic book store the next day. I told him remember however, we need not be in a hurry as our ds doesn't always want to go when we're ready to go. Doctor appointments are different as he knows they are important, but just regular store stuff, he sometimes just wants to wait and there is rarely any real schedule for getting to them.
Anyway, dh states, "Well, when is he going to give me my compromise if after I keep giving him my compromises?" I turned to him and said that is conditional and strings attached love. He didn't understand so I used this analogy. "So when you come home to me with a dozen roses, are you really saying, 'Well I gave you roses to show you my love, now you need to give me what I want because that's how it works'." Dh said he didn't feel that way at all toward me because I am his wife. So I asked him, if I were any more important than his children and he went to say no, then thought about what he was saying.
Needless to say, he realized that the comics would not go anywhere if ds did not feel like going out that day. The kids rarely see him as is and want to spend time with him. Not wait until after he's done getting his stuff. He even used to just leave us for the books for hours and the kids would be sad.
I am hoping he is understanding why it hurts when he treats not only me but the kids in his thinking and starts to see things differently.
Anyway, dh states, "Well, when is he going to give me my compromise if after I keep giving him my compromises?" I turned to him and said that is conditional and strings attached love. He didn't understand so I used this analogy. "So when you come home to me with a dozen roses, are you really saying, 'Well I gave you roses to show you my love, now you need to give me what I want because that's how it works'." Dh said he didn't feel that way at all toward me because I am his wife. So I asked him, if I were any more important than his children and he went to say no, then thought about what he was saying.
Needless to say, he realized that the comics would not go anywhere if ds did not feel like going out that day. The kids rarely see him as is and want to spend time with him. Not wait until after he's done getting his stuff. He even used to just leave us for the books for hours and the kids would be sad.
I am hoping he is understanding why it hurts when he treats not only me but the kids in his thinking and starts to see things differently.
