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I hate my cat.

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
Help mamas i really don't know what to do.

3 years ago i got a cat from the shelter because i've always loved cats. After getting pregnant i stopped wanting the cat to sleep with us because i was really aggravated by all the hair on our bed. As the pregnancy progressed i wanted him to stay out of the bedroom altogether because i couldn't stand the hair. After my son was born 3months ago i found that i totally couldn't stand the cat and i've totally fallen out of love with it. I tried a few times to broach the subject of giving the cat away but my husband would get so mad and hurt that i'd just suck it up for a while. But as time progresses i feel more and more angry that we still have this cat. I wish i still loved it but i don't anymore and i feel that i can't help but feel this way.

Am i the most heartless person? Do i just suck it up for the next 10+years (or however long it lives)? What do i do???
post #2 of 27
I feel for you. I've had my cat for 12 yrs but when I got pregnant I actually developed an allergy to her! She is super skiddish and wouldn't do well in another family so we made her an outside cat. She actuall seems to prefer it since we live in a warm climate and she has loads of covered shelter and yard to play in. Luckily my dh gives her attention now. Remember to do the best for your family and the kitty. If she isn't getting enough love she might get depressed. Good luck!
post #3 of 27
I totally know how you feel! My husband and I were not able to live together for the first year of our marriage, so I got a cat for company, and then that cat seemed really lonely, so about the time my husband and I starting living together we adopted another cat. We coped with the cat hair by keeping the doors shut to every where we didn't want them (mainly bedrooms and kitchen). But...like you, once I was pregnant obsessed about the cleaning, and it got worse once the baby was born. It was extremely frustrating for me to try to keep the floors and furniture cat-hair-free, so finally decided to pitch the idea to my husband about getting rid of them. If he didn't go along with it, I was going to suggest that he help out more in my quest to be cat-hair-free, but luckily it didn't come to that . I was raised that when you get a pet, you keep that pet for life, so I felt really really guilty about even thinking about getting rid of the cats. However, you really have to assess your situation, and think about what's best for your family and your sanity. We were able to find a great family that took both cats, and now we're all much happier. I would just try to talk with your husband and let him know all your frustrations, concerns, and explain to him how stressed it makes you trying to keep up with all the hair. Good luck!
post #4 of 27
My cats (and dogs) drove me crazy for the first 3 months after my DD is born. I seriously considered giving one of our dogs away as she wasn't getting enough exercise and attention and was driving us all nuts. Now that DD is 6 months, we've all settled into a new routine and things are a lot better. And DD loves the critters. She smiles and laughs and reaches for them, especially the one that was causing the most problems. I think you should give it at least a few more months. If you still hate your cat once things have settled down, you can think about re-homing her then.
post #5 of 27
Maybe wait a little longer? A new baby probably takes most of the "taking care of something" and "cuddling" energy you have. As baby gets a little older, you might enjoy the cat again, and the baby almost certainly will. My 10.5 month old thinks the cat and the dog are the best things in the universe.
post #6 of 27
I recommend waiting.
I was huge fan of cats and dogs until I became pregnant. It got worse after dd was born. I couldnt stand them, I thought they were dirty. Ialmost gave my dog away because I felt so bad for her that I didnt seem to love her anymore.
Once dd was mobile it started to get better and when she was about a year I seemed to get over it.
I still have the dog (thank goodness!), and one of the cats. The other cat took a distinct dislike to dd and was urinating and deficating on everything that was hers I rehomed him with family.
dd on the other hand has loved loved loved the cat and dog since she could focus on them. They have been really good for her and to her.

Many woman have found the same issue as us, so try not to worry too much over it.
post #7 of 27
Moving to the pets forum
post #8 of 27
It will get better!! I also really really couldn't stand my dog after I had my baby. She would pee on the floor right in front of me and then take off,etc. Totally jealous of the baby and honestly, I didn't have time for her and I didn't want to be around her!

Now that baby is 7 mo old, she LOVES the dog and I'm back to liking her. Though I don't like the fact she has now peed in my house about 30 times because she's mad at me! ugg!!! STUPID DOG! (kidding!!)
post #9 of 27
I'd wait it out. Feed the cat, care for the cat, and act like you love the cat. Just like you would if you didn't care for a co-worker for no fault of his or her own.

In time, you may well find that your feelings change. I found I felt somewhat indifferent to my cat after I had my first baby, and kind of forgot I had her. But once my dd started following the kitty and lighting up at the sight of her, we reconnected. Now, my kids all adore my cat, and I just kind of rub along with her. I often forget I even have her - she just turns up in a pile of laundry sometimes when I go to sort it, and she appears at dinner time. Other than that, she just coexists with me peacefully. I am so pleased though that I have her, as she enriches the kids lives enormously. She often lies alongside them while they play with legos, or stretches out in the yard nearby when they play. It's a very peaceful, calm kind of relationship that they have, and although I often forget we have a cat, we'll all really miss her when she dies.

My bet is that once your baby starts noticing kitty, you will start to view the cat through your child's eyes, and that will be enough for you to find peace with the cat.

HTH.
post #10 of 27
I have two rascally dogs- trade?
post #11 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alisse View Post
Help mamas i really don't know what to do.

3 years ago i got a cat from the shelter because i've always loved cats. After getting pregnant i stopped wanting the cat to sleep with us because i was really aggravated by all the hair on our bed. As the pregnancy progressed i wanted him to stay out of the bedroom altogether because i couldn't stand the hair. After my son was born 3months ago i found that i totally couldn't stand the cat and i've totally fallen out of love with it. I tried a few times to broach the subject of giving the cat away but my husband would get so mad and hurt that i'd just suck it up for a while. But as time progresses i feel more and more angry that we still have this cat. I wish i still loved it but i don't anymore and i feel that i can't help but feel this way.

Am i the most heartless person? Do i just suck it up for the next 10+years (or however long it lives)? What do i do???
I honestly thought I was the ONLY person who ever felt this way. The same exact thing happened when I was pregnant. I would get so pissed and even nausiated if the cat meowed. I hated the cat, everything about her. I wanted her to run away and find a new family. DH loves the cat, and refused to do so, even with my "tantrums" and anger. I was so mean to the cat, I wouldn't pet her, look at her etc. It was an extreme adversion to the cat. 3 yrs later, guess what..we still have the cat, and I love her. It took about 6 months to a year for me to love her. I think it's odd, and I felt like the meanest person on earth, but I did hate the cat. So you are not alone.. pregnancy hormones can definitily do it, at least to us
post #12 of 27
Seriously, you are so not alone! We had two cats which I adored when I got pregnant with DD1. They were the most awesome cats. Just loved them. But I had no patience for them and started to despise them once DD was born, for no good reason other than their simple existence. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. Then, because I quit my job when DD was born, we were short on money and really needed our pet deposit back, coupled with my severe distaste for the cats, we decided to rehome them. We very carefully selected new homes for them, and the new owners kept in touch with us for a while, and we knew the cats were happy and healthy. But still, I get all teary-eyed when I think of Callie and Dicey, because they were the perfect cats for me and it was in no way their fault. I am still working on forgiving myself, because mama hormones aren't really my fault either, right? Right?
post #13 of 27
Ramama- You can't blame yourself for rehoming your cats with good people, and Im betting since you stay in contact with the new owners you will know and be available for your cats if they ever need to get rid of them. Its a win-win situation
post #14 of 27
Funny I'd totally forgotten that I felt that way about my cats after dd was born. Now she is almost 6 years old and the cats are just part of our everyday lives. I do remember feeling like I was going to completely lose it over the hair and the litter and everything cat related... but you'll feel better in a couple months, I promise!
post #15 of 27
Thread Starter 
I guess i should have mentioned that the other thing that i fear about the cat is that he bites -- not often. A lot of cats will often, for example, take a nip if they're sick of being petted, but in the case of our cat he'll actually clamp down and not let go, which usually requires that you squeeze his jaws open with your free hand, (he'll usually clamp down harder if you try to whack at him to open his mouth). Usually we tell guests to ignore him, or to definitely ignore him if he starts becoming playful.

I'm glad the feeling of wanting to get rid of the cat is somewhat normal for post-partum mothers. But i'm still yearning to get rid of it.
post #16 of 27
I have 2 kitties. I loved them. They were part of my labor and birth support team, seriously.

They stayed respectfully away for a while after DD was born. Then they got on my NERVES.

I HATED THEM. And said as much, often.

To be perfectly honest, for me the hatred lasted 3 years... hopefully that's longer than usual. I think a great, great, great deal of that had to do with my sleep deprivation, which also lasted 3 years.

Now they are my kitties again Granted, one still annoys me at night, but she did before too, so we're back to normal again. Also, they have a great relationship with DD.
post #17 of 27
I have two cats now that we adopted from the shelter. I loved them when we got them and still do, but, they are so weird. They get fed twice a day, but sit at the backdoor so that everytime anyone tries to go out that door, they jump all over them looking for food. They've been wormed, so it's not that. If I want to use the grill I have to fear for my life because if you have food, they will climb you to get it. Just last week the female dove at me because I had food to put on the grill. She managed to hook her claw deep into my ring finger half moon. And then.hang.there. *faint*
Now, I don't love them as much. I feel you.
post #18 of 27
Please wait--this is a normal feeling. I love my two cats, but during my last two pregancies (miscarriages unfortunately) I could not STAND THEM. Just the touch of them drove me nuts. After the m/c the feeling was gone.

I'm guessing as your baby gets older, you will adjust too.
post #19 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nibsie View Post
I have two cats now that we adopted from the shelter. I loved them when we got them and still do, but, they are so weird. They get fed twice a day, but sit at the backdoor so that everytime anyone tries to go out that door, they jump all over them looking for food. They've been wormed, so it's not that. If I want to use the grill I have to fear for my life because if you have food, they will climb you to get it. Just last week the female dove at me because I had food to put on the grill. She managed to hook her claw deep into my ring finger half moon. And then.hang.there. *faint*
Now, I don't love them as much. I feel you.
If they are that hungry for food, maybe they need more food?
post #20 of 27
I have 2 cats, and a 2 year old son, and that hair everywhere and on the clothes was real problem. I really know what you are talking about. I hated my cats. I searched for the solutions of it, and collected different methods to get rid of pet hair.

But first of all you, certanly, must take care of your pet, to prevent shed. So, keep your pet well groomed, because it's by far the most important step you can take in controlling the hair in your home. Regular bathing, brushing and combing will remove old hair, mats and dander. People often think that shorthaired pets don't shed. They do! They just shed shorter hair. Brushing is just as important for these cats.
A brush, comb, mat remover or grooming glove used for a few minutes every day will help collect dead hair that you can throw away instead of finding it all over the house. Removing loose hair also reduces the incidence of hairballs. Some tricks to remove pet hair are well described here: http://removepethair.blogspot.com/
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