January 2010 Low Income Thread - Page 9

[zebra15]

January stunk... I hope February is better

[Satori]

Originally Posted by zebra15

January stunk... I hope February is better

I'll drink to that! May January not be a predictor of how 2010 is going to go!

[crazyeight]

I'm amazed sometimes at how things come together. I have been having my BF help me with rent. I kinda had enough to pay it but i would have been down to the last penny right now. However I had to get my computer fixed but it was covered under my credit card warrenty. So I took it in for an estimate and after a long story I got a check for $430 but the repair will be only $250. So I get to keep the extra I had recieved my partial payout of the pell grant in time to pay my bills for Jan and half the rent. I had $400 in savings which covered the rest. I had to buy books which was $110 or so and paid that out of pell. But then I sold my books from last semester and got the deposit a few days ago. In Nov I had bought several things on BF that had rebates and got those back this week for about $30 which puts gas in the car. Exh says that he sent the CS to the clearinghouse on monday so hopefully that will be here soon. I just can't believe that i survived Jan.....somehow it all worked out and I coulda done it myself and that really helps ease my mind. I don't expect my BF to pay for things and certainly not to cover our heads but he's helped so much and relieved a lot of stress!

So we'll see how Feb turns out. My car is getting worse. It NEEDS new shocks/struts, motor mounts, and a transmission flush ASAP. Like 2 months ago asap. Thats at least $300+ in parts...probably more like $500 and the transmission flush will be about $90. BF can do the work so I can save on labor but gotta find the money first. IF I could get the trooper fixed and SOLD (there's the trick lol) then I'd have at least $800 to put into my car but that's going to take time.

School is going OK. I feel like I'm behind. I have an assignment due on monday and I have to still read chpt 4, do the test, do the module, THEN the assignment (an essay). I'm really worried that I am not going to be able to keep up. I am trying to get my math all done (which means teaching myself the whole book) which I figured is about one extra assignment per week (3 total) and then my pych is set up for about 2 large assignments per week....oy. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I have to do this.... I did find out today though that during spring break (barely 2 weeks before my EDD) the childcare on campus WILL be open AND those with grant money WILL be funded to use the daycare. So although there's no class I can still get my work done but I was hoping by then that week would be my week to make sure everything is ready for baby and do last minute stuff.

So positive vibes that my car does not fall apart and the kids don't get sick again....

[Ianthe]

I did my taxes yesterday.. wow! Having another baby is awesome!

[maciascl]

DH passed his real estate exam!!! He should get the paperwork in the mail this next week then he is back to work!!! So much transitional stuff now is freaking me out, but I am trying to stay positive. If it were a 'regular' job there wouldn't be so many "when do we" or "what now" questions, but being commission there are a ton. Oh well, it will all work itself out & we wonderful!!

[waiting2bemommy]

We were just caught up on rent and then we got slammed with a huge snowstorm. The whole city is shut down (we live in the south, what can I say ) and bf's job closed which means no tips today and probably none or very little tomorrow. And that money was supposed to be for rent which is due today.

So now we are behind again.

I would just like to bang my head on a wall somewhere.

[sunnylady303]

I just read through this thread and I want to say that you mamas are amazing.

I have a question and I'm nervous about asking it. Please hear no judgement at all in it and only my own issues that I'm hoping someone can help with.

Here's the brief background - some of you may even remember me - I have two kiddos - 6 and 4. My 4YO has awful lung problems from living in a moldy parsonage. DH and I were both working but with DD2's frequent hospital stays, it just wasn't practical for me to work. We receive SSI, which gives younger DD insurance and gives us about $75 a month.

Well DH just got his hours hugely cut. We will now be making $650/month. That will bump up our SSI money to roughly $650 also and we can apply for food stamps and I can get DD1 health insurance. But I feel so guilty taking help. Like isn't it for people who are really in need? I mean, I could probably work - it would be hard on DD2's health and being in the hospital so often is so hard on our family, but someone being hard on us could say that I could work if I wanted instead of taking "handouts". (That comes from DH's stepmom) I guess I wonder if she's right. What right do I have to take help when there are so many who are worse off?

On the other hand, I am so scared. We are a month behind on the mortgage and I don't know how we are going to get groceries this month. We are starting a farm business but that won't make any money for a few months. I'm just all torn up. Any advice or thoughts?

[Ianthe]

Originally Posted by sunnylady303

I just read through this thread and I want to say that you mamas are amazing.

I have a question and I'm nervous about asking it. Please hear no judgement at all in it and only my own issues that I'm hoping someone can help with.

Here's the brief background - some of you may even remember me - I have two kiddos - 6 and 4. My 4YO has awful lung problems from living in a moldy parsonage. DH and I were both working but with DD2's frequent hospital stays, it just wasn't practical for me to work. We receive SSI, which gives younger DD insurance and gives us about $75 a month.

Well DH just got his hours hugely cut. We will now be making $650/month. That will bump up our SSI money to roughly $650 also and we can apply for food stamps and I can get DD1 health insurance. But I feel so guilty taking help. Like isn't it for people who are really in need? I mean, I could probably work - it would be hard on DD2's health and being in the hospital so often is so hard on our family, but someone being hard on us could say that I could work if I wanted instead of taking "handouts". (That comes from DH's stepmom) I guess I wonder if she's right. What right do I have to take help when there are so many who are worse off?

On the other hand, I am so scared. We are a month behind on the mortgage and I don't know how we are going to get groceries this month. We are starting a farm business but that won't make any money for a few months. I'm just all torn up. Any advice or thoughts?

Mama, it sounds like you are really in need to me.. you aren't taking "handouts" you've paid taxes your whole life, consider it a savings account and they are paying you back now. And when you are out of your situation you'll be able to pay it back somehow. That's how I see it.

[confustication]

Originally Posted by LizzyQ

Mama, it sounds like you are really in need to me.. you aren't taking "handouts" you've paid taxes your whole life, consider it a savings account and they are paying you back now. And when you are out of your situation you'll be able to pay it back somehow. That's how I see it.

This. When we needed assistance I had many of the same thoughts, ultimately though, the best advice I received was to do what I would want anyone else to do. I would want anyone else to take the assistance they needed to keep their family as whole as possible, and I wouldn't begrudge anyone a single penny of it. I'd much rather my taxes help people than a mama struggle to feed her kids. When I put myself in the same light it was clear that I needed to ask for help.

Things were so much better after I had the courage to ask for that help.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

Hi mamas! Sunnylady303, it is so hard to not feel guilt at accepting "handouts" when you have people in your life telling you that you should not be taking it. They are not in your shoes however, and have no right to tell you how to live your life and how to raise your child. Your DD should not have to suffer just to appease your DH's stepmother. Social services are in place for situations exactly like yours. As hard as it can be to accept the help, try to be gentle with yourself and know that you are doing the very best for your sweet girl.

I just cut my hours back from 40 per week to 20 due to my son suffering in his daycare. He was doing so poorly, and my relationship with him was just going down the toilet. It was so hard for me to go back on cash assistance (20 hours per week just doesn't pay the bills entirely), but I did it and now at the start of week two, I couldn't be happier or more at peace with my decision. It is difficult to have to report every single little thing to the government, but I am so grateful that the help is there. My sweet boy will only be little for such a very short time in the grand scheme of things, and I am pretty sure I will not be having any more children, so I am taking this time and just playing with him and holding on to his toddlerhood for dear life.

I do have one question for your wise mamas. I just started doing my taxes for this year, and it looks like I will be getting back a rather large refund. I know that benefits cannot count your refund as income, but I also know that you can't have more than $1000 sitting in a bank account, or they start cutting benefits. I am planning to withdraw $1000 to put in a cash stash with a friend for my emergency fund, and I also need to repair my car (although I really need to replace it), and I am going to get passports for DS and I so we can go across the border to Canada if we want to. Other than that, I have no plans for the money. Does anyone know if it is ok to pay in advance on utilities? Is that even a good idea? I am just baffled. I wasn't expecting a windfall just as I am about to become very low income. Any advice would definitely be welcome.

[leavemealone]

sunnylady303 For me, it was hard to accept assistance. I felt as if I'd 'failed' by accepting it, but I knew I had to get past that feeling in order to provide for my family during a really crappy time. I feel as if accepting assistance for a short while it helps you feed your family, get medical care, etc and get back on your feet, then it's not a "handout". Lots of people are on assistance these days that probably thought "That will never be me". I know one person who is going without insurance for her & her kids due to a job loss b/c she doesn't want to go on Medicaid. To me, that's crazy. I know we won't be on assistance long term. but it sucks that we are now.

[Satori]

Mama's, I really need to hear about some good stuff happening to other people because right now things really suck and I need to know that yes, good things can and do happen. I've barely slept the past 2 weeks since we've have the stomach flu then went right into the regular flu. I just got the cars breaks fixed and something else now the bleepin things are screeching again and the wheel felt like it was locking up yesterday. I got a 48 hour shut off notice last night for the elec and this time it really is a 48 hour notice (they usually end up giving a week the letter shows up so early) which means I'll probably get one for the gas and phone/internet in the next day or 2. As usual the past couple months that whopping $100 I have left after paying rent went on gas money for the car to get the kids to Dr appts and meds not covered. The dryer died yesterday in the middle of doing laundry and this morning I got an email from paypal telling me that I made a payment for my cell phone bill and I'm like WTH? I turned off auto billing last week and got a top up card and put the money in the cell account to cover the cost. They never totally turned off the auto bill on the back end and ignored the fact there was money already in the account and went ahead and debited my checking acct. Well great, I put money in there yesterday to write todays rent check so that wont bounce but the rent will now! So they got the phone straightened out but of course that will take 3-5 days oh were so sorry we messed up If rent isn't paid by tomorrow its a $50 late fee. If the check bounces its a $30 fee I did my part and still get screwed!

The agency that usually helps with shut off notices is out of funds until at least the end of the month and my parents can't help so I don't know what to do at this point. Did I mention I'm supposed to pull $60 out my rear to take dd to UCLA tomorrow for her check up? Dr won't auth more meds until he see's her and we've already rescheduled this and can't do it again or else we won't get meds in time since she's out of refills. Praying Salvation Army still offers gas vouchers for medical transportation, waiting for them to call me back and see about the elec high bill helper program to knock $100 off the bill.

Wonderful, my DMV reg doesn't expire the 15th like I thought, it expires TODAY and oh happy birthday to me, my drivers license expires Friday and I never got a notice because they didn't update my address! They updated the car reg but not my license addy so.. yeah, gotta pull that outta my rear too.. It just didn't really sink in that its 2010 and my 5 years is up and I need to renew

Yeah, today sucks. I need to hear good news people even if its not mine

[maciascl]

Satori: I am so sorry things are so rough for you right now!!

[Satori]

Originally Posted by maciascl

Satori: I am so sorry things are so rough for you right now!!

Thanks, just hoping tomorrow is better. At least I got the shut off notice taken care of, my parents gave me the money for the DMV stuff but not until after lecturing me on being such a failure of a human My dad gave me my birthday money early so now I have gas money for tomorrow. So immediate fires are put out. Tomorrow I gotta take care of the insurance stuff since we have a new case manager who can't tell her left from her right and she just denied more stuff and I got the notices today. Nothing major since our appt isn't until March but annoying that I have to call and explain to her how to do her job and talk to her supervisor to get it straightened out so a couple hours of my time. On the upside our fridge is now packed with good food and we BBQ'd for dinner Now to relax I'm torturing my kids and blaring Antonín Dvořák – Song to the Moon yes, I'm a horrid mommy, what can I say, they have been total little monsters today and payback is a and yes, I happen to love that song, its beautiful imo

[Ianthe]

Satori: My good news.. I am excited that we will be able to move out of MIL's basement this late-May, because I *should* be getting a full tuition scholarship, which means that our housing can be paid for with federal grant money (they are a very family friendly campus!).

Glad to hear you got your fires put out. I wish we were able to throw you a life line from here! You aren't a bad human, you are a great mama trying to do the best you can for your kids.

[Satori]

Has a Feb thread been started? I can't find it.

[AngelBee]