2 Year Old and Clothing

[Aliyahsmommy]

I am unsure what to do regarding my 2 year old daughter and our struggles with clothes. Trying to leave the house has become a nightmare where I end up yelling and she is crying the whole time. Every piece of clothing "hurts" her no matter how much adjusting I do...mainly her underwear, jeans, socks, and shoes. Though I did buy her a pair of dress shoes to replace her tennis shoes and that has helped with the shoe battles.
Around the house I let her wear loose fitting pajamas with no underwear and her crocs with no socks. This is not acceptable to wear out of the house though for various reasons...one being that it is the middle of winter here. I have tried to empathize with her, adjusted the clothing endlessly, made getting dressed into a game, tried to reason with her, even yelled...nothing has worked and we spend 30 minutes to an hour in a tantrum every day that we plan to leave the house. She just sits there crying and asking me to "fix" her clothing. It is awful for both of us and sooo frustrating to me.
Please no advice about just staying home as we do often, but are not going to be able to every single day and also do not want to as we enjoy being at playdates...once we are out of the house that is.
Another thing is that she cries about her car seat being too tight for 5-10 minutes or so every single time we get in the car. It is actually somewhat loose for this reason or at least looser than I might like it, but she arches her back and screams anyway! No matter what I say or do nothing seems to keep her from doing this though occasionally I can distract her once the car is moving.
HELP!

[unschoolinmom]

My dd had the SAME problem! Then I came to learn that she had SPD or Sensory Processing Disorder. She was tactile defensive, meaning, certain clothes, fabrics, textures, etc. really "hurt" her. Here is a link you can look at and see if these match what you're seeing with your dd.

http://www.sensory-processing-disord...nsiveness.html

[Aliyahsmommy]

I actually looked this up about a week ago as I was trying to find answers to her behavior. I think it is a possibility she has this disorder...though my husband thinks that I'm reaching for answers and our daughter is just being her very spirited self. How do I know for sure? And if she does have this, then what?
Other helpful info is that she only began this behavior a few months ago...right after her 2nd birthday.

Here are the things that bother my daughter:
# "messy" things (has never wanted to finger paint or anything like it and uncharacteristically started to cry one time when I put her hand in "goopy" corn starch mixture to show her it was "fun")
# certain clothing textures
# seams on socks
# hands or face being dirty
# shoes

These things do not bother her:
# textured materials/items
# vibrating toys, etc. (she actually likes them)
# a hug (she loves to cuddle)
# a kiss
# rough or bumpy bed sheets
# tags on shirts
# light touch
# wind blowing on bare skin
#bare feet touching grass or sand (she prefers bare feet on sand)

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

My dd had the SAME problem! Then I came to learn that she had SPD or Sensory Processing Disorder. She was tactile defensive, meaning, certain clothes, fabrics, textures, etc. really "hurt" her. Here is a link you can look at and see if these match what you're seeing with your dd.

http://www.sensory-processing-disord...nsiveness.html

[Addy's Mom]

Just want to chime in that even if she doesn't have a sensory disorder, she may just be very sensitive to certain things. My son is the same way but it doesn't rise to the level of a true dx. I try to accommodate as much as possible with clothing and loud noises (his two issues).

[unschoolinmom]

Originally Posted by Aliyahsmommy

I actually looked this up about a week ago as I was trying to find answers to her behavior. I think it is a possibility she has this disorder...though my husband thinks that I'm reaching for answers and our daughter is just being her very spirited self. How do I know for sure? And if she does have this, then what?
Other helpful info is that she only began this behavior a few months ago...right after her 2nd birthday.

Here are the things that bother my daughter:
# "messy" things
# certain clothing textures
# seams on socks
# hands or face being dirty
# shoes

These things do not bother her:
# textured materials/items
# vibrating toys, etc.
# a hug
# a kiss
# rough or bumpy bed sheets
# tags on shirts
# light touch
# wind blowing on bare skin
#bare feet touching grass or sand

I always wondered too if maybe I was "seeing" things with my dd now 6. But at 2, I talked to my pediatrician about it and my best friend is an Occupational Therapist who specializes in children with SPD. Even her son, who is now 18 and in college has it before it was widely recognized. The pediatrician had us referred to an organization called Easter Seals. They did an long evaluation, that was fun for her age, and were able to diagnose her. She started at home OT and was able to get over a LOT of her issues.

For her:

Things that bothered her (and sometimes still do)
# "messy" things
# certain clothing textures
# seams on socks (and certain tights)
# hands or face being dirty
# shoes
# tags on shirts

The other things however do not any longer. She was really bothered by sand which with the help of OT really helped her get over that and this past summer we were able to get her to the beach for the first time!

I would certainly explain to DH that this IS a legitimate disorder and needs to be worked with as soon as possible with EARLY intervention.

I wanted to add. My ds also has SPD but he is a seeker and not tactile defensive. However, he did not show signs until he was 3. I knew what to look for with certain signs the second time however and still was able to get him the OT he needed. Both my children are very high spirited and active. Even though they have it, they aren't any different than other kids, they just see, feel, hear, and taste the world in a different manner.

[crowcaw]

One of my now 4 yo dds has had clothing issues for as long as I can remember. She also doesn't completely fit the list SPD either but in many ways is very sensitive. She can't stand having clothing that is too tight, sleeves that are too long and touch her hands, wrinkles she can feel in leggings or tights, sock seems, labels, collars that are too high, etc. It is better now than it was at 2 because she can articulate the exact problem, but there are still ever changing issues. Things that have helped: rubbing her skin to desensitize her before putting on something that is likely to be problematic; before putting something on telling her that i know it is going to feel uncomfortable and we'll work to make it better; before she could really say what the problem was having her point to where it felt bad; yours might be a little young for this, but sprinkling invisible magic dust on her that will make things fit right sometimes works wonders; talking about clothes and what does and doesn't feel good when we weren't in the throes of getting dressed. This is all of course after ridding her closet of known culprits. She has only knit pants, no tags in anything, no turtle necks or collars,... Silk undershirts and long johns have been a big hit and help keep her warm under knit pants. Basic Brilliance, by the way, has great loose fitting knits that are presentable. For my dd things are getting better as she gets older. We rarely have tears about clothing these days, but lots of attention to detail and adjusting still.

We also had an issue with the car seat and there wasn't much I could do there. I just would tell that it needed to be tight for her to be safe and then try to distract, but we usually had crying for the first several minutes of any trip. That she seems to have outgrown, though she takes safety very seriously so maybe just tolerates it now.

And your dh is probably right -- it is related to "spirited-ness." Spirited kids, from what i read, are often very sensitive. But that doesn't mean that she isn't truly uncomfortable and needing help.

[Aliyahsmommy]

I wish I could rid her dresser of the clothes I know bother her, unfortunately that is not in the budget right now as I would need to buy her a whole new wardrobe since she only owns jeans. At least for next winter I will be able to buy the clothes I know she likes...mainly sweat pants versus jeans, seamless socks, and slip-on type shoes. As for summer I do not foresee us having these issues since summer clothes are not as constricting. Tight fitting clothing seems to be the culprit. Also anything that constricts her like a bulky winter coat or her car seat straps. I do just what you suggest regarding the car seat...I just wish it didn't make her so miserable for that few minutes.
Any thoughts regarding underwear that might be more comfortable? She loves her silk pajama pants...does anyone sell silk underwear for toddlers?

Originally Posted by crowcaw

One of my now 4 yo dds has had clothing issues for as long as I can remember. She also doesn't completely fit the list SPD either but in many ways is very sensitive. She can't stand having clothing that is too tight, sleeves that are too long and touch her hands, wrinkles she can feel in leggings or tights, sock seems, labels, collars that are too high, etc. It is better now than it was at 2 because she can articulate the exact problem, but there are still ever changing issues. Things that have helped: rubbing her skin to desensitize her before putting on something that is likely to be problematic; before putting something on telling her that i know it is going to feel uncomfortable and we'll work to make it better; before she could really say what the problem was having her point to where it felt bad; yours might be a little young for this, but sprinkling invisible magic dust on her that will make things fit right sometimes works wonders; talking about clothes and what does and doesn't feel good when we weren't in the throes of getting dressed. This is all of course after ridding her closet of known culprits. She has only knit pants, no tags in anything, no turtle necks or collars,... Silk undershirts and long johns have been a big hit and help keep her warm under knit pants. Basic Brilliance, by the way, has great loose fitting knits that are presentable. For my dd things are getting better as she gets older. We rarely have tears about clothing these days, but lots of attention to detail and adjusting still.

We also had an issue with the car seat and there wasn't much I could do there. I just would tell that it needed to be tight for her to be safe and then try to distract, but we usually had crying for the first several minutes of any trip. That she seems to have outgrown, though she takes safety very seriously so maybe just tolerates it now.

And your dh is probably right -- it is related to "spirited-ness." Spirited kids, from what i read, are often very sensitive. But that doesn't mean that she isn't truly uncomfortable and needing help.

[LynnS6]

Hanna Andersson undies are quite nice. You could also consider letting her go without undies if she's wearing pants.

Dresses with leggings work quite well for our dd - she hates jeans (won't wear them) and wears socks only when absolutely necessary. We live in Oregon, and it's rarely necessary.

[treemom2]

At 2 and up to about 5 my DD had many of the same issues. She hated clothes that had tags, seams, were tight or itchy, socks with seams, getting messy, etc. . . We thought maybe she also had some sensory problems. We would put her socks on inside out to help with the seam issues, cut out all the tags in clothes, dress her in dresses instead of pants, she liked sweats and some leggings. Now, she is much better at 8 years old. She still hates tags, some socks, a lot of fabrics (we put on undershirts), turtlenecks even if they are loose but will wear pants now (not too tight). She's still very picky about shoes and tends to prefer slipons. She liked carter panties the best. In the house I'd let her wear whatever she's most comfortable in, but when you go out I'd try to put her in clothes that don't bother her too much. The carseat, a safety issue, I'd just try to explain to her that it's to keep her safe so it needs to be somewhat tight (and I wouldn't budge on this one. . .I'd just tell her it has to be done and try to distract as much as possible along the way).

[orangefoot]

My ds1 was fussy about the feel of his clothes as a toddler and still is at 16.

He didn't wear underwear until he went to school and only then when PE was on a day he wasn't expecting it and everyone saw that he had nothing on under his trousers.

He wanted what he called 'soffy' clothes: joggers, light elasticated waists, roll neck tops or soft t shirts with no transfers or labels on them and soft sweatshirts. He didn't own a pair of jeans until he was about 13 and these were some which we re handed down so already worn in. He didn't like me washing them because he felt that he couldn't wear them.

I bought most of his clothes from thrift shops or jumble sales anyway so they were well worn in and soft straight away.

Now he has about 4 undershirts which are getting to be too small, 4 shirts he wears over these, a zip up hoody, a coat, one pair of jeans and one pair of shoes. He earns his own money so could buy new clothes if he wanted but he won't because he doesn't like the feel of new stuff. We bought the hoody on a shopping trip for a coat for ds2 last month and I was really surprised that he agreed to buy it and has worn it every day since. It is a soft jersey lined with a brushed cotton which feels like flannel and as it is lined it has no rough seams so it is all good.

He is just an ordinary boy but he does like soft and comfortable clothes which is not unreasonable. Everyone has their thing I guess.

[HappyMommy2]

My DS won't wear jeans either, only "comfy pants". Target has hanes sweatpants and sweatshirts for $3 or $4 each. I stock up each winter!

[Aliyahsmommy]

I thought of that, but leggings are tight on the legs and I think my daughter would hate them.

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Hanna Andersson undies are quite nice. You could also consider letting her go without undies if she's wearing pants.

Dresses with leggings work quite well for our dd - she hates jeans (won't wear them) and wears socks only when absolutely necessary. We live in Oregon, and it's rarely necessary.

[Polliwog]

Gymboree's toddler leggings aren't tight. And you can often get them marked way down so they cost about what you'd pay at Target.

[unschoolinmom]

I often try to find knit leggings instead of nylon ones or I knit them myself. They feel better for dd than the other ones.

[etsdtm99]

target has sweat pants that are nice and soft and loose and they are less than 3$ a pair right now (like 2.80 something - the website says they are 4$ so the price may vary but here they are less.. ) they have matching sweatshirts too which are suitable to wear in public if that kept your DD happy.. you could get her some clothes and avoid the battles for like 15$ ..

also.. have you tried letting her pick her clothes? i'm sure you probably have.. i had issues with my DD right around 2 if she didn't pick her clothes she wouldn't wear them.. i have dealt with the carseat issue too, seems like it is always a phase.. also, my cousin when through a loooong phase where she had to wea clothes that were 2-3 sizes too big because everything was too tight.. it lasted from about age 2-5 .