Wanting But Waiting Tribe *2010* - Page 6

[jenniferadurham]

Originally Posted by pinkgeek

I think I may be close to getting a "yes" out of DH too

We had some very good conversations about it this weekend and it turns out his biggest concern (recently, anyway) has been the cost of child care. So I did some research, gave him the numbers and my estimates on how we can pay for it, and he was like "that could work."

He also said "I guess having a baby is like getting braces [as an adult] you just have to jump in and do it or it will never happen." LOL! For a little perspective, he just got braces last year after putting it off for a while and is very happy with the results so far.

I told him last night that even if he said yes right then, that we've most likely already missed any chance this month (hopefully that will reduce any pressure for him) and that he should just think about all the fun we'll have while practicing/trying!

Daily vitamins are definitely in my routine again and I just ordered some food-based folate supplements too.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Originally Posted by Nillarilla

Dh came into the computer room when I was writing my post for this thread. He asked what I was doing. I said just commiserating about wanting to be pg but having to wait. He wanted to know why I couldn't talk to him about it. I said that we had talked about it and I understand his opinions but that it doesn't change my feelings. I still want another one. He asked if I wanted another one right now. I told him that there are reasons I want another one right now and then there are the reasons to wait. This am he said if I seriously want another right away we need to find a way to add another bedroom upstairs . This means he's considering it and coming around to my side .

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So happy for you both!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[echospiritwarrior]

Originally Posted by Ardor

I think that I may have just done this through logic! Today we had an actual conversation about where we want to be in three years and it revolves around a very specific event - me getting a job that pays as much as his does now so that he can take a lower paying job that earns as much as my current one. After he told me all about his plans for this, I asked where a baby fit in, and then explained that I wanted a year at home with the baby before going back to work, and a few months at work in my new career so that we can catch up finances before he takes a paycut. Then surprisingly all the other factors like daycare and help from my mom a couple days a week so I could do the Masters program actually sounded feasible, so he said "Ok, sounds like a plan!" So getting pregnant, pregnancy, & maternity leave is around two years. This means that we can start trying in 6 months! My youngest is 2.5 now so they'll still be around three years apart like I wanted. I'm so excited! What has always been an "uh... well... another one... hmm" conversation has finally turned to "OK!"

Originally Posted by pinkgeek

I think I may be close to getting a "yes" out of DH too

We had some very good conversations about it this weekend and it turns out his biggest concern (recently, anyway) has been the cost of child care. So I did some research, gave him the numbers and my estimates on how we can pay for it, and he was like "that could work."

He also said "I guess having a baby is like getting braces [as an adult] you just have to jump in and do it or it will never happen." LOL! For a little perspective, he just got braces last year after putting it off for a while and is very happy with the results so far.

I told him last night that even if he said yes right then, that we've most likely already missed any chance this month (hopefully that will reduce any pressure for him) and that he should just think about all the fun we'll have while practicing/trying!

Daily vitamins are definitely in my routine again and I just ordered some food-based folate supplements too.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

with fingers xed!

Originally Posted by Nillarilla

Dh came into the computer room when I was writing my post for this thread. He asked what I was doing. I said just commiserating about wanting to be pg but having to wait. He wanted to know why I couldn't talk to him about it. I said that we had talked about it and I understand his opinions but that it doesn't change my feelings. I still want another one. He asked if I wanted another one right now. I told him that there are reasons I want another one right now and then there are the reasons to wait. This am he said if I seriously want another right away we need to find a way to add another bedroom upstairs . This means he's considering it and coming around to my side .

[Baby_Cakes]

I'm so thrilled for all of you getting great news from your partners! It is amazing when they finally come around!

That won't be happening to me anytime soon, ha!

Right now I'm trying to live vicariously through the half a dozen or so mamas from my old DDC who are pg again. It's tough. We are still really close and have a very active msg board of our own. I so, so wish I could join them, but it's just not in the cards. I am so happy for all of them and their families, but... I guess, some days I need to just do my own thing and not marinate in it. Same w/the ttc board here! Some days I just need to close my browser!!

That's why I'm so happy I have you guys! We're all on the same(ish) page.

AFM - we're working on having DD (16 mo) sleep in her own room. She and I have been sharing the big bed since she was born, but I was more than ready to have some space, and she and I were both getting really bad sleep. So, it's been about 5 nights and last night was the best night so far. She slept on her own (after DH went in to soothe her) from around 1:30am until 6:15 am, when she came pitter pattering into our room, looking to climb in w/us! It was so sweet! It was the first time that's ever happened, and it felt like such a typical "parenting" moment. One for the baby book, that's for sure.

[MamaFern]

hi mamas
this past month has been rough on me..

edited to delete most of what i wrote..

[nerdymom]

I keep waffling back and forth for stupid reasons. I guess that means I'm not ready yet, right? MamaFern, have you and your spouse been to counseling?

[MamaFern]

Originally Posted by nerdymom

I keep waffling back and forth for stupid reasons. I guess that means I'm not ready yet, right? MamaFern, have you and your spouse been to counseling?

we have, a long while ago. im going to start going myself, i have encouraged him to but i doubt he will..

you will know when you are ready, or not
for a while i was sure, possitive, 100% done, but that changed.

[Mother Cake]

To go back to a discussion that was happening a while ago about prenatals, I was wondering if anyone here has used Nature's Sunshine Prenatal Vitamins. I was originally planning to go with New Chapter, but the Nature's Sunshine ones are a lot cheaper and you only have to take one a day. Has anyone else heard of/used this brand?

TIA

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MamaFern

hi mamas
this past month has been rough on me..

edited to delete most of what i wrote..

I don't know your situation but wanted to give you a hug.

Originally Posted by Mother Cake

To go back to a discussion that was happening a while ago about prenatals, I was wondering if anyone here has used Nature's Sunshine Prenatal Vitamins. I was originally planning to go with New Chapter, but the Nature's Sunshine ones are a lot cheaper and you only have to take one a day. Has anyone else heard of/used this brand?

TIA

I don't take those, but I take Rainbow Light prenatals which are also one per day.

AFM - I'm just trying to laugh about how badly I want another baby. If I don't laugh, I'll cry.

[Neuromancer]

I'm glad to read that several of you feel like you're making headway with your partners. Another friend of mine has announced her pregnancy, which made me feel a little sorry for myself, but I'm keeping on. I'm reading an interesting book on ethnopediatrics right now, which is fun.

[listipton]

I have been on this forum for a while and just recently found this sub-forum. I too am ready for #3, however dh at this point won't even talk about it. It's been nice to read about other ladies that are in the same boat. I'm hoping that by commiserating here that maybe I'll get this baby fever out of my system. Hopefully, someday, I'll get to share my 'yes' story too!

[pinkgeek]

mentions of "Baby Boom" make me a little sad

It's been quiet around here for the last couple of days! Hello??? LOL!

I've been meaning to ask this of the group. (it's also sort of cross-posted as part of a post in another sub-forum.) I'm in the DC area and am loving the week off work I'm getting from this blizzard we're experiencing, but there is one thing that is bugging me. People keep talking about the "baby boom" that will be likely in about 9-10 months. I'm fairly certain that I O'd a full week before the snow started and we didn't DTD at any point near then, so there's no way I will be part of any "baby boom" that may or may not occur. It's a cute idea, but for as someone who really want to have a baby, but isn't yet, am I the only one who it makes a little sad?

[Baby_Cakes]

^Aww. That would make me sad. I'm in NJ and haven't heard anything like that, but I can totally see how hearing it would bum me out!!
DD was conceived during the baby boom that came w/the writer's strike in Jan of '08.
I guess I've been lurking b/c nothing has changed. I just am trying to live in the moment, enjoy DD and not think about making another baby until next year. Really hard to do though!! :-(

[Blanca78]

Originally Posted by pinkgeek

It's been quiet around here for the last couple of days! Hello??? LOL!

I've been meaning to ask this of the group. (it's also sort of cross-posted as part of a post in another sub-forum.) I'm in the DC area and am loving the week off work I'm getting from this blizzard we're experiencing, but there is one thing that is bugging me. People keep talking about the "baby boom" that will be likely in about 9-10 months. I'm fairly certain that I O'd a full week before the snow started and we didn't DTD at any point near then, so there's no way I will be part of any "baby boom" that may or may not occur. It's a cute idea, but for as someone who really want to have a baby, but isn't yet, am I the only one who it makes a little sad?

Hey PinkGeek--I really wouldn't put too much stock in it (I know I already said that elsewhere with my wind storm example, and with that I should have mentioned that the wind storm made people lose power for over a week and shut down the city). But here's some help from my friend Snopes
http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/blackout.asp
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/babyboom.asp
http://everything2.com/title/Blackout+baby+boom

Don't feel sad!

[MamaFern]

it feels like things really hit bottom for me/us this month..it was very overwhelming but eye opening as well...and after some major, serious heartfelt talks dp has decided that he wants to try for our spirit baby. im fertile now and so if we are lucky we will have a nov babe! im in shock. the most i was hoping for was an oops. in overjoyed.

you can take me off the waiting list.

if it can happen for me, it will for you as well..have hope and think positive mamas!

[Logan]

Yay, congrats! Baby dust to you

[pinkgeek]

@MamaFern - YAY!!!

AFM - Thanks for the encouragement and the thoughts about not being too down about the "baby boom" chatter, I appreciate it. I never thought I'd say this, but I was SO happy to see AF today. I don't have a definite "yes" from DH, but after the last conversation we had about it, I'm really hoping that this month we will actually start TTC.

[MamaFern]

thank you!! im so happy. i had a healing session today with a friend and i feel so grounded and certain.. life is good.


pinkgeek.. i know what you mean.. about wanting a yes. it will happen when the time is right.

[1*Lucky*Mama]

Hi Ladies, Iam currently TTC#3, but I just wanted to pop over and share that my DH was so adamant against having any more children. I spend many many tear filled conversations with him, and he would not budge even a little. Since our DS was 6 months old I would bring it up every month at least, and he was so so so done. About two months ago (and our 2nd son a month away from turning 2!), I asked him again, could we have another baby, and he said, he would think about it. We had a great conversation and we are TTC #3 right now and he seems just as excited as I am. I really never thought he would say yes, but here we are...

Here's hoping all you wonderful ladies make some headway with your DH/DP's.

[MamaFern]

Originally Posted by 1*Lucky*Mama

Hi Ladies, Iam currently TTC#3, but I just wanted to pop over and share that my DH was so adamant against having any more children. I spend many many tear filled conversations with him, and he would not budge even a little. Since our DS was 6 months old I would bring it up every month at least, and he was so so so done. About two months ago (and our 2nd son a month away from turning 2!), I asked him again, could we have another baby, and he said, he would think about it. We had a great conversation and we are TTC #3 right now and he seems just as excited as I am. I really never thought he would say yes, but here we are...

Here's hoping all you wonderful ladies make some headway with your DH/DP's.

that is so wonderful mama~~ congrats!
im in exacrly the same place. my smallest dd just turned 2 and my dp said NO WAY for months.. i started to want another one when our babe was only 6 months old as well. he finally said yes just a few days ago. hoping for a valentines baby! i ovulated today

[Brown Lioness]

Ok, i have a question, ...how do you mama's keep bringing up TTC a baby or another baby even when your partner has already said no? I mean, i guess i have a fear about having conversation after conversation only to get the same answer. There would be only so many times I could cry over it, you know?

So, how in the world are you gathering the courage to keep bringing in up again knowing that they've already said their piece?

Also, dont you ever feel like once they DO say yes, that its like a surrender of some sort? Like, they are finally just giving in to you just to get you to drop the issue and restore peace in the home? How do you truly know that they are excited and actually into having another baby versus just playing along to keep you happy/keep the peace?

I ask these in love, no snark.