Neuromancer and Brown Lioness, I know EXACTLY how you feel.
I've been away from the boards for a while - partially because of some required classes for work, but also because I wasn't sure how I was feeling about things.
I thought my DH was warming up to the idea of TTC, but I think I was a bit wrong. Last time we DTD, he WD - I didn't think he was going to anymore, but apparently I misunderstood. It was right around when I should have been fertile based on my charts (not temping, just tracking dates) so I was disappointed. The next day, we got into a pretty emotional discussion/debate about it. He said that he felt like the only reason I wanted to have sex was so I would get pregnant. I told him that I wouldn't lie and that I hoped that would happen, but that wasn't the only reason. (We have had some issues with my low body image/self esteem and lack of libido while I was on the pill for years affecting our sex life.) The conversation kept going for a while, in a few different directions. That was March 1.
The following weekend, we were at my in-laws for dinner with all my BiLs and their SOs - having kids often comes up in conversation since one SiL just had one and another, like me, wants one. I mentioned wanting one and he told me (again) that he wants a clean house. I seriously think that this is a major issue holding him back from saying yes to me. I also don't think I realized how big a deal it was until recently - you'd think I would after the number of arguments it has caused, but apparently I'm great at denial.
So, I spent last weekend cleaning up a good bit, and this weekend (after the taxes) I am planning on more. Keep your fingers crossed that this really is the roadblock.
On top of that, now I'm late. I've been tracking my cycle on FF since September (I stopped the Pill in July) - it's been an ave of 32 days, with the longest at 40. I've been dead on tracking O with CM (based on FF's predictions of my period, which are always accurate.) I'm on CD41 today. I POAS a few days ago, but it was Neg. I don't have any PMS symptoms, and other than some weird pulling feeling where I'd normally feel cramps a few weeks ago and on and off EW-ish CM for the last couple of weeks, I don't have anything that would make me think I'm preggo. I'm guessing that the stress/emotional conversations may have delayed O for me, but I'm not sure at this point. Any thoughts?
Sorry for the novel!!! It's good to be back