It's probably better if your nipples are not hard, as I would think (though I'm not an expert) that it would make it more difficult to latch on, and elongate the nipple. I have very short nipples, at the very first they actually turned in on themselves when I tried to position my DS to nurse! But eventually they all worked themselves out (but have never been hard). I was given a nipple shield in the hospital, but feeding was usually worse with it than without.
I use the Breastflow (or rather my DH does when I'm at work) and it does seem to work well. I've heard that it is much slower flow than even most "slow flow" nipples of other brands, and is supposed to (as you mentioned) work more like the breast. Since we've been using them, he's stopped pawing at me like he's trying to get more milk out! We bought them at Target, I don't know what you have available.
As for stress -- yikes! It's sounds like there's plenty! Since you probably can't reduce the sources of your stress, I would focus on trying to forget it when you're feeding (bottle, SNS, breast, whatever). I know that's easier said than done! For me (when my DS was younger and having feeding troubles), retiring to a quiet room to feed, watching TV (or not, sometimes it added to the stress, sometimes helped), putting on your (or baby's) favorite music (mine really likes soft piano music, which is great for me too!), lighting your favorite scented candle or some other "luxury", and just convincing yourself that the only thing in the world right then is feeding, and that even if it's not going well it's going to be ok. (Again, easier said than done!) I've even taken a bath and fed him in the bathtub (careful with that, of course, I didn't fill it very full and hands on him at all times). (He relaxed enough to poo, which he was having trouble with at that time! A swim diaper is a good thing!) The name of the game (as I'm sure you know) -- Experiment!
I use the Breastflow (or rather my DH does when I'm at work) and it does seem to work well. I've heard that it is much slower flow than even most "slow flow" nipples of other brands, and is supposed to (as you mentioned) work more like the breast. Since we've been using them, he's stopped pawing at me like he's trying to get more milk out! We bought them at Target, I don't know what you have available.
As for stress -- yikes! It's sounds like there's plenty! Since you probably can't reduce the sources of your stress, I would focus on trying to forget it when you're feeding (bottle, SNS, breast, whatever). I know that's easier said than done! For me (when my DS was younger and having feeding troubles), retiring to a quiet room to feed, watching TV (or not, sometimes it added to the stress, sometimes helped), putting on your (or baby's) favorite music (mine really likes soft piano music, which is great for me too!), lighting your favorite scented candle or some other "luxury", and just convincing yourself that the only thing in the world right then is feeding, and that even if it's not going well it's going to be ok. (Again, easier said than done!) I've even taken a bath and fed him in the bathtub (careful with that, of course, I didn't fill it very full and hands on him at all times). (He relaxed enough to poo, which he was having trouble with at that time! A swim diaper is a good thing!) The name of the game (as I'm sure you know) -- Experiment!
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