This third baby has been humbling! My first two were fairly easy-going babies. It didn't take long for my husband and I to figure out how to soothe them, what they liked, what they didn't like, etc.
Ian was content to be fed, played with for a while, then put down to entertain himself. I could shower, cook, even eat (sometimes) as long as he could see me or hear me, he was okay with sitting in his bouncy seat or swing or even just on the floor near some toys. He slept...okay, wouldn't cosleep because of bad reflux, so I spent many hours a night in the rocking chair in his room, but it didn't really bother me. He liked to be held, and was very attached to the boob, but it just seemed...easy!
Connor, despite of (or maybe because of) all his health issues, he was a very laid-back baby. We had to make a lot of accomodations (because of severe breathing and swallowing issues, for example, he couldn't ever be laid flat on his back) but once we got it all figured out, he was a breeze!!! Behaviorally, anyway
Feeding him was a nightmare, and the stress about his health was horrible, BUT day-to-day care of him was easy. He never cried, as an infant he slept great (the sleep problems came later, then they were horrible!)
Then Gavin comes along. I now understand moms who don't shower for days, moms whose houses are disasters, I understand why pre-cooking so many meals can really come in handy!!! He's been the baby that's hard to put down, doesn't like a swing, bouncy, carseat, bed, NOTHING! Will never go to sleep unless he's being held, won't STAY asleep unless he's held! Lots of crying, and not always obvious why (is it reflux? cutting dairy helped but not fully. is he hot? cold? overstimulated? ARGH!) I don't think it is/was true colic, but DEFINITELY "high needs".
In some ways I say thank goodness he's not my first, because I'm a very calm relaxed mom by now. In other ways, I wish he was my first because I'd have the time to do nothing but hold him. Instead the poor guy has had to cry much more than I would like because I sometimes HAVE to do something with his older brothers (change a diaper, make a meal, get someone on/off the bus, etc) It's definitely been hard to meet his needs, follow his cues; be the kind of mother that I want to be.
All that being said...we've definitely turned a corner. And suddenly. We spent the Christmas/New Years week visiting family in another state. I was dreading the trip because it's hard to be in someone else's house with a fussy baby. But during that week he suddenly started being happy being laid down with something to look at. He happily sat in a swing a few times. He didn't scream the whole drive up or back even!! AND...he started sleeping alone! I can even lay him down "awake but drowsy" and he'll sometimes put himself to sleep!! (I won't ever let him CIO, the few times he's put himself to sleep he either talks to himself for a while then falls asleep, or just lays there quietly and falls asleep!)
Last night I put him in the swing in the living room while I was working on cleaning that room. He started to fuss just a little but as soon as I started vacuuming he stopped (he's always liked the sound of the vacuum, another thing my older two didn't like!) I vacuumed for quite a while (cleaned the floors and the couch) and when I was done, he was asleep! He put himself to sleep in the swing with the sound of the vacuum! (and he didn't cry, I watched him as I was vacuuming since I knew I would be able to hear him) Then I went to bed a little while later and set up the monitor next to his swing. He slept for 3 hours by himself! I fed him then, and laid him in his bassinet next to my bed where he slept for another hour by himself! He spent the rest of the night sleeping with me, but how nice to have those hours to myself!
He is 3 months old today. The end of the "4th Trimester". I've always read about it, but never had a baby who really experiened it, you know?
We're done having children (biologically anyway, we plan to adopt one more) but I wonder what my next child would have taught me? Every baby is different, and can challenge even an "experienced" mom.
Ian was content to be fed, played with for a while, then put down to entertain himself. I could shower, cook, even eat (sometimes) as long as he could see me or hear me, he was okay with sitting in his bouncy seat or swing or even just on the floor near some toys. He slept...okay, wouldn't cosleep because of bad reflux, so I spent many hours a night in the rocking chair in his room, but it didn't really bother me. He liked to be held, and was very attached to the boob, but it just seemed...easy!
Connor, despite of (or maybe because of) all his health issues, he was a very laid-back baby. We had to make a lot of accomodations (because of severe breathing and swallowing issues, for example, he couldn't ever be laid flat on his back) but once we got it all figured out, he was a breeze!!! Behaviorally, anyway
Feeding him was a nightmare, and the stress about his health was horrible, BUT day-to-day care of him was easy. He never cried, as an infant he slept great (the sleep problems came later, then they were horrible!)Then Gavin comes along. I now understand moms who don't shower for days, moms whose houses are disasters, I understand why pre-cooking so many meals can really come in handy!!! He's been the baby that's hard to put down, doesn't like a swing, bouncy, carseat, bed, NOTHING! Will never go to sleep unless he's being held, won't STAY asleep unless he's held! Lots of crying, and not always obvious why (is it reflux? cutting dairy helped but not fully. is he hot? cold? overstimulated? ARGH!) I don't think it is/was true colic, but DEFINITELY "high needs".
In some ways I say thank goodness he's not my first, because I'm a very calm relaxed mom by now. In other ways, I wish he was my first because I'd have the time to do nothing but hold him. Instead the poor guy has had to cry much more than I would like because I sometimes HAVE to do something with his older brothers (change a diaper, make a meal, get someone on/off the bus, etc) It's definitely been hard to meet his needs, follow his cues; be the kind of mother that I want to be.
All that being said...we've definitely turned a corner. And suddenly. We spent the Christmas/New Years week visiting family in another state. I was dreading the trip because it's hard to be in someone else's house with a fussy baby. But during that week he suddenly started being happy being laid down with something to look at. He happily sat in a swing a few times. He didn't scream the whole drive up or back even!! AND...he started sleeping alone! I can even lay him down "awake but drowsy" and he'll sometimes put himself to sleep!! (I won't ever let him CIO, the few times he's put himself to sleep he either talks to himself for a while then falls asleep, or just lays there quietly and falls asleep!)
Last night I put him in the swing in the living room while I was working on cleaning that room. He started to fuss just a little but as soon as I started vacuuming he stopped (he's always liked the sound of the vacuum, another thing my older two didn't like!) I vacuumed for quite a while (cleaned the floors and the couch) and when I was done, he was asleep! He put himself to sleep in the swing with the sound of the vacuum! (and he didn't cry, I watched him as I was vacuuming since I knew I would be able to hear him) Then I went to bed a little while later and set up the monitor next to his swing. He slept for 3 hours by himself! I fed him then, and laid him in his bassinet next to my bed where he slept for another hour by himself! He spent the rest of the night sleeping with me, but how nice to have those hours to myself!
He is 3 months old today. The end of the "4th Trimester". I've always read about it, but never had a baby who really experiened it, you know?
We're done having children (biologically anyway, we plan to adopt one more) but I wonder what my next child would have taught me? Every baby is different, and can challenge even an "experienced" mom.
(Not that I would change this guy for the world of course!!!)
All of my babies just like the whole world a little better at that age.
All 3 of my kids have been very different.
