I am working on watching how much I ask them to do and how *I* respond when they ask *ME* to do something.
because of course if *I* get to say "NO, I don't want to" why can't they?!
Can I do it myself? Then maybe I should.
There's always the "It's time to pick up your toys" instead of "Can you" or "Will you" That seems to help.
Oh and in our house, nothing gets--espeically dd but sometimes ds--to move faster than, after hearing the "NO" "Oh, well, 'other one' Will you please..."
Sometimes "Who wants to...XYZ" works too. I'll usually get one to answer.
(what I *hate* is what my mom does, "DD, will you pick up these toys? DS won't do it..." grrrrrr)
It depends on what it is. A refusal to do something for me that I can darn well do myself will probably get me to do it myself. A refusal to do something like clean up a mess you made with your toys is likely to make those toys disappear if I have to pick them up myself.
Mental note: :note "start telling kids more that we need to all work together as a family to...'keep our house clean', 'get dinner on the table' " whatever it is that I'm trying to get them to help with...........reason might help...