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Poll: What are your sleeping arrangements?

Poll Results: What are your sleeping arrangements?

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 0% (0)
    Single parent, child(ren) sleep separate
  • 3% (5)
    Single parent, child(ren) co-sleep
  • 16% (26)
    Sleep with partner, child(ren) sleep separate
  • 53% (86)
    Sleep with partner, child(ren) co-sleep
  • 1% (3)
    Partner sleeps separate, child(ren) sleep separate
  • 12% (20)
    Partner sleeps separate, child(ren) co-sleep
  • 3% (6)
    No children, but plan to co-sleep
  • 0% (0)
    No children, but plan NOT to co-sleep
  • 8% (14)
    Other - explain
160 Total Votes  
post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
My parents are opinionated on the fact that I co-sleep and insist that I will be sleeping with teenagers in a few years. I assure them that it has no impact on their lives and many people co-sleep, and that when the time comes my children will be more than willing to occupy their own private space to sleep. They think I am damaging my kids somehow.. so I was wondering, what are everyone's sleeping arrangements? Is my situation really so unusual?

Currently, my six (almost seven) year old son has his own room, but he sleeps with me roughly 75% of the time. Even if he goes to sleep in his own bed, most of the time he migrates to mine sometime during the night.

I have a king-sized bed with a side-carred crib, and my four-year old daughter sleeps with me along with my 18-month old son. Add the older boy and obviously there's no room for anyone else. Hence, DH has his own room and his own bed.

This works for us, though sometimes I do wish DD would start using her own bed at least part of the time. She's very touchy-feely at night and wants to be right up against me... which can get annoying, when I can't even roll over.

Just wondering what the status is with co-sleepers on this forum...
post #2 of 40
My dds (5 and 2) have their own room. Dd2 starts out the night in her room with her sister and then usually in early morning comes waddling into our room to spend an hour or two sleeping with us. When she's sick or teething she sleeps with us longer.

When they were babies they both slept with us all the time.
post #3 of 40
Me and dh co sleep with dd2 who is almost 4 months. Dd1 has her own room. Occasionally she sleeps with us but everyone, including her sleeps better when she is in her own space. when dd2 stops night nursing we will transition her ot the troom with dd1. That is the plan anyway.
post #4 of 40
We play musical beds and do whatever makes everyone get the most sleep. We basically have a room full of beds--just a queen size and a full size next to each other, with no other furniture.

I try not to talk about sleep arrangements with my relatives--kind of like you shouldn't talk about politics in some families. Whenever they bring it up, I keep repeating my mantra: "I know it must seem different, but this is what works best for us." Sometimes I have to repeat it over and over, but they eventually leave me alone.
post #5 of 40
We were a straight up family bed until DS was about 9 months old. Then we transitioned him to his own bed. Now we put him to bed in his own room, and when he wakes he comes into our bed. It's been working really well for all of us.
post #6 of 40
We have our 8 and 5 yo in bunk beds in their room; they go to sleep in their own beds and may join us during the night.

In the master bedroom we have a twin bed in a corner with a queen pushed up against it. 2 yo dd sleeps in the twin and dh and I are in the queen. This is how it is supposed to be in theory, but the baby always ends up in the big bed between mom and dad.

This set-up is working well for us right now.

Oh, if the older girls want to come to our bed in the night they crawl in the twin bed.
post #7 of 40
DH and I sleep together.
In theory, DS starts the night in his room and then comes to ours whenever he wakes up the first time.
"In theory" because he's started out in his room the last three nights but maybe 5 times total in the last 8 months or so prior.... (we did just get a new fun "big boy" bed and he likes that, even though the mattress is on the floor for sleeping - it's a loft bed which makes me nervous)
post #8 of 40
I'm a single/divorced mom and my son is ten. He slept with me from the time he was born til about 2 1/2. then my POS ex husband left him alone, got pulled over and arrested, I got a call at work from my mom about it. Needless to say, my son has been sleeping with me ever since. Once in a great while he'll sleep in his own bed but migrates to mine around 3:00 am. He has his own spot as I have a quen size bed. We have a dog that sleeps under the covers.
post #9 of 40
me, dh, 4 yr old and 3 mo old in our bed. the older kids have their own beds. i asked dh to stop co-sleeping with his kids when we moved in together and i, in turn, stopped sleeping with mine. it felt weird and i did NOT want any negativity from the ex's. i doubt the 4 yr old moves out anytime soon.
post #10 of 40
post #11 of 40
My dd has a bed in her room where she starts the night. She usually sleeps with us after her second wake-up of the night. She's 18 months. DH sleeps with us, too.
post #12 of 40
I had to vote "other".

I slept with DD1 in my bed since her birth. After DD2 was born, the baby was always in my bed, and the toddler usually started the night in another bed with Daddy, then joined me in the middle of the night to nurse.

I moved both girls into another bedroom, together, when they were about 1 and 3 (and even then, they often joined me in my bed in the middle of the night.) I was hospitalized for a few months when they were 3 and 4, and when we were reunited, they needed some reasurrance. Although they had their own bedroom with their own beds, they were welcome in my bed whenever they wanted.

When DS' bio-dad joined our family, we played "musical beds". Some nights I'd sleep with DH. Other nights he'd fall asleep in the girls' room with both of them, or I'd fall asleep with DD2 in my room and he'd end up with DD1 in the girls' room. When DS was born, I usually put him in the crib next to my bed, then brought him to the big bed in the middle of the night. If I started DS in my bed, DH wouldn't come to my bed at all, but would sleep on the couch or in the girls' room.

When we split up (due to domestic violence- so more trauma for the girls) I ended up with all 3 kids (1, 6, and 8) in my room most nights. Since the queen sized bed was getting too crowded, I moved a toddler bed into the room. I allowed one girl in my bed and the other needed the toddler bed, and they took turns. I can't even tell you how long that continued, but by the time we moved out of that house (when they were 9 and 10) they slept in their own beds most of the time.

After moving, the girls continued to share one bedroom and DS and I took the other (only now we're in a smaller apt and the rooms are closer together.) DS and I shared the big bed until after he weaned (age 4) and then I started weaning him to the other bed in the room. He moved to his own bed permenantly when the queen sized bed wore out, and I couldn't justify the expense of a new mattress when we had 4 twin mattresses already (the two the girls had from before plus my parents' guest beds from the old house.)

Currently, my 15yo has her own room, and I share the larger bedroom with my 13yo and my 8yo (they have the bunkbed.) If we could afford the space, we'd each have our own rooms- we're sharing now due to necessity, not preference. If we had 4 bedrooms and I had a queen sized bed, I'm honestly not sure if I'd be sleeping alone, or if DS would use his room as a playroom and dressing room and sleep in mine, or if DD2 would end up in my bed if DS was in his.
post #13 of 40
At the moment, dh and I are in one bed, and each boy has his own bed. Most of the time, they sleep out the night in their own beds, but sometimes one or other will come and get in bed with us.

They both started out cosleeping, then eventually we transitioned them to their own beds, where they'd stay for a few hours and then get in bed with us. My 7 year old prefers sleeping by himself (and I prefer that too, getting kicked by a 7 year old hurts!), but he also knows he can come in with us anytime. Same with my 3 year old.
post #14 of 40
Hmm, I picked that I co-sleep with the kids and partner sleeps separate but that's not really accurate. Should have picked other. I sleep with my 2.5 year old nursling and DP sleeps with our almost 6 year old.
post #15 of 40
i put sleep with partner children cosleep...although or son has moved into his own bed...it's right next to our bed.

when he is 4 and our soon to be baby is 2 we will move them both at the same time to their own (shared) room. beds together, or apart, however they prefer.
post #16 of 40
Right now 3 mo. old and I co-sleep in my me and my husband's bedroom and my husband sleeps with our 5 year old daughter in her bedroom. This is temporary until DS is about 6 months or so and we plan on transitioning him to his own room.
post #17 of 40
I voted for 2

"Single parent, child co-sleeps" because that's what the situation was for the first 3 1/2 years of ds's life. He always had his own bed, but chose to sleep in mine.

"Sleep with partner, child sleeps in own bed" (or whatever that option was) because that's how it is now. DS has autism so when we moved when he was 3 1/2 (into dp's house, 2 states away from where we were) I knew it was already going to be a huge transition for him. Change is bad in the first place, so I decided to just bite the bullet and change everything at once. He got his own room (which dp did in a Thomas theme for ds.... perfect for my thomas obsessed little boy!) with his own bed and such. From that first night I just told him "this is your bed. You can sleep in this bed. If you need mama, I'll be right here" (and showed him my/dp's bed). DS did great with it! He was definitely ready for his own bed/room so it made it easier to transition him when something else was changing too. DS rarely wakes at night anymore, though if he does I usually go lay down with him in his bed (usually if he's waking at night that means he's sick).
post #18 of 40
I voted #3, but it would have been co-sleeping just a few months ago. My 4 year old DD decided to sleep in her own bed right after turning 4. She's only been back in our bed 3 times. She can have more interesting nightlights in her room. My DH needs a darkened room to sleep in. That's probably part of it or maybe she was just ready, who knows.
post #19 of 40
I voted other. I co-sleep with my youngest, and DS sleeps in his own room across from my room. I'm on single parent duty right now, but once DH gets back we'll co-sleep with DD. Very rarely DS will come in bed with me but he only ends up falling asleep maybe 50% of the time when he does.
post #20 of 40
Dh and I bedshare with our 1yo and many nights our 3yo comes into the bed after awhile.

We have bedshared with all of our children and my 9yo who slept with us until he was four, sleeps perfectly well on his own. So do the 7 and 5 yo girls.
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