Dh is moving out today for a trial separation. Although we had long-standing marital problems (largely related to parenting stresses), the first time he ever mentioned separation to me was six days ago. I am totally unprepared for this.
Can anyone recommend a professional who can help guide me through this process?
I want someone who specializes in taking a child-centered approach to family transitions. My 6 yo ds has various special needs and my youngest is only 3. We have also identified therapies that would give ds the help that he really needs, but we don't have funding for those and I feel that ds is in a developmental window where interventions could play a critical role. Also, we are in the midst of a financial crisis (incl debts) which will only be made worse by the cost of paying for a second residence and hiring professionals to help us. I'm a homeschooling SAHM who has put her career on hold because my kids need me so much and because dh spends a lot of time on a side business (in addition to his job).
People have advised that I see a personal lawyer but I am reluctant to do that given that an adversarial dynamic is not in my or my dc's interest. A mediator has also been recommended, but I'm not clear on how that would work when I am still reeling from the shock and have little information about what actions are needed for my children's sake. I'm wondering if there's a different type of professional who can facilitate things in a non-legal way. Dh has expressed the intention of acting in the dc's best interest and he is a very loving, involved father.
Can anyone recommend a professional who can help guide me through this process?
I want someone who specializes in taking a child-centered approach to family transitions. My 6 yo ds has various special needs and my youngest is only 3. We have also identified therapies that would give ds the help that he really needs, but we don't have funding for those and I feel that ds is in a developmental window where interventions could play a critical role. Also, we are in the midst of a financial crisis (incl debts) which will only be made worse by the cost of paying for a second residence and hiring professionals to help us. I'm a homeschooling SAHM who has put her career on hold because my kids need me so much and because dh spends a lot of time on a side business (in addition to his job).
People have advised that I see a personal lawyer but I am reluctant to do that given that an adversarial dynamic is not in my or my dc's interest. A mediator has also been recommended, but I'm not clear on how that would work when I am still reeling from the shock and have little information about what actions are needed for my children's sake. I'm wondering if there's a different type of professional who can facilitate things in a non-legal way. Dh has expressed the intention of acting in the dc's best interest and he is a very loving, involved father.
. Dh is having really really extreme sleep issues right now, so I don't think he's motivated to do overnights either (yet). I'm sure he'll want to do that eventually since he's been told (by his ever helpful divorce veteran work comrades 
) that that protects his access to the kids. I raised the possibility of sharing a secondary home, but it doesn't seem like 1 it would make a difference for the kids right now and 2 dh is pretty clear on wanting his own space and wanting get away from me. In the medium term, though, all options are going to have to be on the table and seriously assessed. I agree that sharing a secondary arrangement makes a lot of sense, but I also see that there are so many things that would prevent that from working.
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