Breastfeeding moms (who are still pregnant!)

[Astraia]

OY!

I'm about ready to rip my boobs off.

Okay, so that's obviously an extreme statement. I'm definitely feeling like I'm one giant bruise. Latching on is the worst part, and then after that I spend the whole time practicing deep breathing and relaxation. And if that's not enough, I grit my teeth and kegel like mad to try to take my mind off of it (it's the only thing I can do that doesn't keep my daughter awake as I'm TRYING to get her sleep... usually unsuccessfully, nap and bed time are the worst times of my day).

It's not just the pain, it's the creepy-crawling feeling that has suddenly set in. I figured the first trimester would be the worst (since that's all I heard about when I was reading up on it) but I'm thinking the last 6 weeks are what's going to really do it!

[tmareeh]

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!

I nursed my dd while I was pg with my ds. It was terribly annoying. I had to nurse her to sleep and in the night all the way to the end. She turned 3 a week before he was born. The only tip I have is that I would tell her I had to go to the bathroom, and sometimes she would fall asleep if I sat in the bathroom for a few minutes.

I tandem nursed for 27 months. I am now 36 weeks pg with my 3rd. DD (5) weaned about a month ago. I am still nursing ds (2) and gearing up to start tandem nursing again after a 1 month break.

I will say that my experience nursing during pg this time was totally different from last time. It has really just started to get uncomfortable in the last week or so. Also, I was already able to nightwean my son (about a month before he turned 2), whereas my dd was almost 3 and 1/2 before she would accept nightweaning.

I am a big fan of tandem nursing because of the ease of transition for the older one. However, it is not an easy undertaking. I hope you are able to get some relief from your discomfort soon. You don't want to be exausted and burned out before the next baby is even here.

[Cativari]

I'm still nursing here as well. I'm having an easier time of it this time. When I was pregnant with DS I could hardly stand DD nursing. It really got on my nerves. This time around thought it's a little more comfortable and while it's still a bit annoying I don't have the OMG get this kid off me thoughts as offten.

[Bluegoat]

I have found much the same thing - through most of the pregnancy it has been slightly to really uncomfortable, and also gives me that creepy feeling. I'm night-weaning dd2 now (a bit late but o well) but she seems to have picked up on her nursing quite a bit in the last month, which isn't wonderful thing from the POV of my comfort.

[nudhistbudhist]

I hear you! DS was 7 mos when I got pregant... I was having such bad breastfeeding aversion and pain that I actually started using a paci at night (to my total horror, at first). I felt so conflicted at first because I never ever wanted to use a paci as a replacement for me.. however, it probably saved my BF relationship with DS. It helped me nightwean (though he's not really night weaned, I only nurse maybe once at like 5 am so that I dont have to get up with him). I would nurse him for as long as I would feel able to (around30 seconds, 1 min tops) then pop in the paci. He didnt like it at first, but now he's fine with it. Since doing this, DH has been able to put DS down to sleep without me, which is a huge huge help.

Just thought I would mention that my biggest fear never came true. I was so worried he would be one of those toddlers that ran around with a hunk of plastic (a paci) in his mouth all day, and would not be able to sleep without it, etc. Didnt happen. I think perhaps its because we already had such a strong BF relationship? We also never give it to him during the day, unless we are on a 4 hour car ride down to the coast or something (he cant fall asleep in the carseat on his own).

I'm not saying its the only answer, I'm just saying it worked for me and I'm soooo grateful. The creepy crawly feeling and pain set in when I was 3mos pregnant. I'm sure I would have given up. Good luck anf I hope you find some relief somewhere, somehow. I'm looking forward to tandem nursing new baby and DS

[mymary]

Oh boy are you not alone!!!!!!

I only BF my 16 mo old every other day now because I dislike it so much. I do like the contractions it gives me, makes me feel like I'm doing something.

I have disliked breastfeeding since probably 16 or so weeks pg. Something about when they get older or their multiple teeth or their suck or just the pregnancy. No let down, drops only of milk, etc...

I want the good feeling breastfeeding back.

I have tandem nursed, but I believe its probably your body's way of making room for the NEW baby. I know my new baby is the priority of course and just think of it as another natural body function.

[Astraia]

Nuhdist- I've tried the paci. I wasn't thrilled at first, but she hated it so it doesn't matter. I try letting her fall asleep with a bottle and that used to work but recently she will ONLY fall asleep while nursing, and her middle of the night wake ups are only satisfied with boob now, too <sigh>

She's 13 months old now, she was only 5 mo when I got pregnant. We're in a similar situation, I think!

tmareeh- I think breastfeeding or not I'm exhausted and hover close to semi-burned out all the time, haha. I'm really hoping that tandeming helps the transition along... I'm also really hoping that she'll fall asleep FASTER once my milk comes back in. Night times are my biggest worry but I know one way or the other it will work out. Somehow.

I've tried nightweaning but the huge tantrums made me give up pretty quickly. She's not ready and I'm not ready to fight her on it.

Mymary- You're right, my body is trying to make sure I give everything I have to this new little bean.... didn't think of it that way.

Thanks for the support, everyone. I'm really looking forward to tandem nursing and I'm sure DD will be THRILLED when my milk comes back in... Every nursing session I tell myself, "just a few more weeks! Just a few more, I can do it!"

[angrypixiemama]

Hi. I am actually in the February DDC (Feb 5), but I saw your post and wanted to respond. I hope that is ok. I am still nursing DD who just turned 3. She nurses to sleep at night, sometimes still wakes during the night and asks, and also for naps.

There have been times when I have had almost no patience for it, when she and I both end up in tears, etc. It is hard. Harder still is that I can't talk to anyone about it - no one I know in real life really nurses past 6 months and thought I was nuts for wanting to nurse longer than a year.

I do think it will be helpful during the transition phase, but I hear you about that strange feeling, etc. There are times when I take my husband's Ipod touch and play games, etc, to try and keep my mind off it. It sometimes helps. Good luck.

[Astraia]

Hmm, my husband has an ipod touch...

<considering>

Should see if I can download something fun to it.

[Faliciagayle]

Tetris was the best $6.99 I ever spent on my iPhone

[jillmamma]

My DD is 4 now, and very close to weaning, so I am not experiencing this much this time, but last time I was pg, I nursed a 2 year old all the way through and tandemed for 2 years. So I well remember that feeling of "just hurry up and be done now, kid!" One thing that helped a lot was drinking lots of water (although I was in the bathroom more, lol), and setting some limits for when and how long. But the good news is, engorgement was not much of a problem, nor was bringing in my full milk, and my oldest gained about 4 lb in 3 months due to all that yummy newborn milk.

[paxye]

My three year old still nurses many times a day.. he never let up on the frequency since I got pregnant but I don't mind at all especially since the colostrum came in...

My 5 year old on the other hand doesn't nurse as much anymore and when he does his latch is way off and it bothers me... he only tries now about once a week but doesn't get any milk so he is not exactly weaned but he is in many ways...

I really think that tandem nursing makes the transition so much easier for everyone... so I am so happy that ds#3 is nursing on a regular basis...

[smokeylo]

YES YES YES, I SO HEAR YOU ON THIS!! You know, I never expected the 3rd trimester to be harder in terms of nursing. It feels like every day my breasts are more sensitive and I can nurse her for less and less time. I can't wait for this creepy crawly feeling to GO AWAY.

My DD is 22 months, so I know that's a world away from 13 months. What's worked for us lately is to limit nursing times, and I have had to cut off nursing her to sleep unless she falls asleep within about 10 minutes. I simply can't stand it for that long. I think this is probably good in terms of setting us up for a manageable tandem nursing situation, but it has been rough.

[geo_girl]

I'm not in this situation, but just wanted to let you all know that you have my unmitigated admiration!

I can't stand to be touched in general right now, let alone in such an intimate way.

take care of yourselves!
cheers,
charlene

[Astraia]

Originally Posted by geo_girl

I can't stand to be touched in general right now, let alone in such an intimate way.

Oh, I can't either. Which is why DD is strictly forbidden from touching my "free" boob (it ends the nursing session) or touching my face.

DH thinks it's a real laugh to come over and grab my boobs.... I don't know why, since I slap his hands every time



For moms who've done this before- I'm getting advice from people IRL (none of whom have tandemed) saying that Nigella CAN'T nurse right after the baby is born, because he needs the colostrum and she'll make my milk come in too soon and baby will miss out on the "liquid gold."

I know how fab colostrum is, so it sort of makes sense.... is it important to try to minimize DD's nursing sessions so he gets the most colostrum possible?

(OTOH, Nigella threw up almost everything she ate for the first couple of days until my milk came in and everyone said "oh, it's just colostrum, don't worry about it." So confusing....!)

[Cativari]

Kai's first nursing session was shared with his big sister. Though he did get first dips for the first couple days I wasn't too concerned about nursing Ivy. Just watch out for those toddler poops after though they can get real yucky.

[paxye]

For moms who've done this before- I'm getting advice from people IRL (none of whom have tandemed) saying that Nigella CAN'T nurse right after the baby is born, because he needs the colostrum and she'll make my milk come in too soon and baby will miss out on the "liquid gold."

I know how fab colostrum is, so it sort of makes sense.... is it important to try to minimize DD's nursing sessions so he gets the most colostrum possible?

Colostrum is not limited... it is there until the milk comes in which for a well nursing babe, or two nursing babes, or even three nursing babes is generally 48 hours after birth... during that time though, you will have enough for both... (like when people have twins etc..)

What came naturally for me, is that I have always given baby first dibs on nursing except for when my milk came in and I was engorged... then it was great for the older one to help out first and then put baby on the breast...

also, remember that demand=supply, so like a mom with twins won't nurse one more than the other, the same goes with tandem nursing different age siblings. They both make the demand, there will be enough supply for both. What you don't want though is for one to get only the hind milk and the other to get only the foremilk so just watch out that baby is getting both by completely emptying the breast and not switching often during the same feed...

[Astraia]

Originally Posted by paxye

What you don't want though is for one to get only the hind milk and the other to get only the foremilk so just watch out that baby is getting both by completely emptying the breast and not switching often during the same feed...

I didn't even think about this. With Nigella I had oversupply problems and did block feedings for months, it never even occurred to me that I might need to switch sides this time around!

I like what you both say about baby getting first dibs, that makes sense. I probably won't offer to nurse Nigella at first, but if she's really wanting it then we'll make it work...

Catavari- I really hope the toddler poop doesn't get more disgusting than it is now! That would be... well... REALLY disgusting!

[Faliciagayle]

not to nay say, but I've been asking our local LLL leaders (2 of whom have tandemed) about the whole foremilk/hindmilk thing, colostrom, nursing the NB first and I've been told repeatedly that there is no one right way to do this (tandem) and it's no problem to feed the older sibling first if that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Have you read Adventures in Tandem Nursing?

OTOH I have no experience with this, unlike Paxye, so take it or leave it

I hear you on the creepy crawlies. DD not much of a fondler but when/if she does I can't stand it. Lately, she's been latching lazily. My nipple is not a straw, thankyouverymuch! I have to reminder her to "open wide" or the session is a bust.

[Astraia]

Originally Posted by Faliciagayle

Have you read Adventures in Tandem Nursing

On my to-read list..... I should really get on that, huh? Some day it will sink in that it really could be ANY DAY! (it'd probably make me feel better to feel like I've read up on it and am prepared. I like researching!)