What age for thier own bed?

[Chloe'sMama]

DD is 18 months and has co-slept since birth. We took her crib out of her room months ago and it is now just a play room! DH wants to get her a big girl bed so she can know what her options are. I am newly pregnant and was thinking we would continue co-sleepign with both.

What age do kids comprehend the option of having their own bed? It seems so early to me. Just to add, he doesn't want to kick her out, he just wants her to know there are options.

[Lilygoose]

MY DD is 14 months and we just moved her toddler bed into to our room and are trying a slow, easy, and positive transition from co-sleeping. Even when the bed was in her room we talked to her about how it was her bed and encouraged her to get up and down in it and get familiar with it, but she never slept there. When we moved it into our room we again talked with her about how it was her bed and where she would sleep and she got right in it and laid down (this was the middle of the afternoon!) That night I told her it was bed time and snuggled her then laid her down in her bed. She was very excited and struggled with settling down, but did not get out of bed or get upset. I rubbed her back and sang her lullabies and it took her about 40 mins (twice as long as usual) to get to sleep, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. However she woke up every half hour 9but would fall right back asleep when I rubbed her back) and then fell out of the bed that first night (its very low to the ground so she was fine). It has rails towards the top and bottom, but a space in between and she seems to slide through this. She moves a lot at night, which is part of the reason we are encouraging her to sleep in her own space as this wakes everyone up all night long. We ended up taking her back into our bed for the remainder of the night. She napped in it the next day and again woke up about every half hour, but fell right back to sleep when i came in and rubbed her back for a minute or so. No falling out. Last night she went to the bed and got in herself at bedtime, woke up every 45 mins or so, but settled when i went to her and then eventually fell out again, at which point i brought her back into my bed. So, its a process. She really likes the bed and wants to sleep in it, but it is an adjustment in learning the space and not having mom to snuggle up to. We will keep trying it this way as long as she continues to seem like she wants to go into her bed. So, at 14 months she is able to grasp the concept that this is her bed and she seems interested in it. And like you, we are presenting it as an option, with encouragement. As long as she wants to get into the bed we will continue to help her adjust to it. If she decided that she didn't want to go into the bed she can come back into my bed.

[ann_of_loxley]

I think at two, they might be willing to have the option. We got my son his own bed but he never was interested in it and it was taking up space so its in the loft currently. I am also expecting and we just got a bigger bed. My son was 4 in September - and has no interest in his own bed just yet. I also don't think with a new little one coming along that he would. I like that he knows he still has a place in the family bed despite expecting a baby. I think it will help with the transition when the time comes.

Personally - I think the best transition option is to get a bed next to the main family bed. That way, if they want their own space, they can have it - yet still be in the same room. A child of maybe three would be 'ready' for this (???). (I wouldn't bother with this during pregnancy or shortly after having another baby though). And then if they show consistancy of wanting their own 'bed' in the family bedroom - you could move that bed into their own room and see how that goes.

I really can't see my son ready for independent sleep though until he has lost all his milk teeth though. I see a deffinate connection between that (and BF, etc) with 'independence'. Of course if he still wants to be in the family bed - he is more than welcome!

My DH also has his own bed when he wants independent sleep! lmao (handy during the week when he gets up so much earlier than us to go to work!).

[Grace and Granola]

A little different situation, but both of my boys had their own beds around 12 months. They did not enjoy co-sleeping like I wanted them too! But, when my first was 12 months, I was 6 months preggo with #2, so we got ds1 a queen bed/boxspring on the floor. That way I could lay with him in his room when he woke in the night, but I was still comfy while I was pregnant. It was very successful. At that young age, he liked having his own bed, and he never got out of bed without calling me to come get him. I know not all kids are like that. In fact ds2 was not quite like that. We decided to get him his own queen bed when he turned 1 because he was a horrible sleeper. I wanted to be able to sleep with him when he woke in the night too. That part was great, but because he has a different personality from ds1, ds2 would frequently get out of his bed, so I would just lay with him while he fell asleep for a long time. I still would choose 12 months in the future, because it's not such a huge issue at that time as I see my friends struggle with 2,3 4 year olds having trouble transitioning to a "big kid bed." I, personally, prefer co-sleeping with my kids in their beds as they need me to. And they seem to do well with it also...but then again, my kids were never your traditional co-sleepers from the start.

[dividedsky]

heather, is the bed on a frame, or is it a mattress on the floor for the 12 month old? if the former, were you afraid of them falling out? my boys are 11mos, but i'm thinking of ditching the crib within a few mos... just not sure how it would work

[Grace and Granola]

I did a mattress and box spring on the floor and it was in the corner so the baby was near the corner and I put a long body pillow on the edge closest to floor. Neither of my kids ever came close to falling out of the bed. It was a queen, so huge compared to a 12 month old! I don't think a queen is necessary, but it's what we had to pass down to him!

are you thinking of having your boys share a bed? If so, when we are travelling or my boys want to sleep together, I lay them sideways on the bed (if that makes sense), so they have more room width-wise and then they have breathing room. Neither of them like to touch anyone when they sleep.

[~Katie~]

At 12 months DS got a twin bed next to our bed with a bed-rail on the outside, and that would eventually move into his own room when DD was born. It made more sense to get the other bed in order to transition him to his own space and to have more room. He understood pretty quickly that it was his sleep space and he would go to it to sleep. I tried co-sleeping with DS when DD was born but they would wake each other up all night so everyone ended up getting better sleep once he moved into the room across the hall.