Fear of toilet?

[sharp1]

Hello..

My nephew is 5 years old and will not poop in the potty. He is terrified. He urinates in the potty, but is afraid to sit on it. He sneaks a pull up from his special needs brother.

Any suggestions?

Thx

[TiredX2]

Moved to Childhood Years

[TiredX2]

Do you know for sure that it is a fear of the potty? Many children have a much harder time pooping on a regular sized toilet than peeing. If they are used to bearing down to poop and suddenly they are expected to perch over a cold space with their feet dangling, it is just too hard.

If that might be the issue you could consider a number of things--- a small potty chair, a footstool and/or one of those padded rings that fit on the toilet.

Is there any chance he is constipated so he is literally afraid of pooping?

Does he stand up to pee? Because I could see having a very different view of sitting to poop versus standing to pee.

For now, I would consider backing off for a few days to a couple weeks and just let him have access to the pull-ups when needed. Then, when he has calmed down a bit (since he is hiding this behavior, I have to assume that at some level at least he is uncomfortable with it) have a talk with him about what exactly is bothering him about the toilet.

Does he use the toilet exclusively elsewhere? Like if he was out for the day what would he do?

Good luck!

[Kivgaen]

Make a game of it... Does he have a little potty? Have races to see who's going to use the potty first, and then you use it. Make fun of how silly you look sitting on the potty, and say "Hey!! This potty is too small. I don't fit! I'm stuck"... whatever. Use that silly, high-pitched voice that kids at that age think is hilarious. Or try to use it with your clothes on and then say "oh, silly auntie, that's not going to work very well"... etc.

Make it fun somehow. He'll work through his fears through play.

[Mittsy]

Does he or has he ever had any issues with constipation? I would rule that out first before doing anything else. Would a trainer seat with a step stool help him use the toilet? For pooping I definitely recommend a potty chair, my daughter refused to poop on the potty for a very long time and she only started going whebn I pulled out the potty chair so we could work on potty training her brother.

[sharp1]

Thx for the suggestions, we will be trying them out. I'm not sure about constipation. I know that he holds it all day at school and is usually looking for the pull ups as soon as he gets home.