High-Needs Babies Tribe - Interested?

[kgreenemama]

I often follow posts in the Nighttime Parenting forum, because I find such great camaraderie among parents whose kids have sleep issues. However, my DS fits 11 of the 12 descriptions for what Dr. Sears calls, "High-needs babies." Not SPECIAL needs. These are intense babies that have feeding, comforting, and, especially, sleeping challenges.

For example, it was seven months into my DS's life before I could get from our driveway to the other side of town without him screaming (not whimpering, not fussing) his little beet-faced head off. Same in the stroller. Or the swing. Or the crib. In fact, I learned to shower in record time, just so I could get back to that darling boy. As a result, we held him (all. the. time.) and began cosleeping, not because we initially realized the benefits, but because there was no other option. Now that he's 21 months old, and we've grown to love bed sharing and extended breastfeeding, but along with it comes some tricky maneuvers.

Anyone interested in participating in discussions in a tribe like this? Or have suggestions about relocating somewhere more relevant than FB/NTP?

Hope to hear some other parents' stories!
Cheers!

[mountainsunshine]

Im in. I am parenting my second HN baby.

Sarah

[BrittneyMarie]

Oh I am SO a member of this tribe!

DD has NEVER slept out of mine or dh's arms or right up against my chest for more than 20 minutes in her 4 months of life. It's been way easier since I've accepted that that's just how things are gonna be!

When we came home from the hospital with her, we slept on the couch for 3 weeks. dh held her while I slept, I held her while he slept. I was convinced, before she was born, that we weren't going to bedshare because it made me nervous. but then i had enough of the couch, so we moved the bed against the wall and she slept 3 hours straight, woke up to eat, and slept for 4 more hours! i was so happy i cried. i had needlessly been living on 3-4 hours of sleep per day for almost a month!

Cosleeping and babywearing have saved my sanity!

[apmama07]

YES!! DD is 28 months and very much still the high-needs baby. Maybe start a thread over in "Finding Your Tribe"?

[almadianna]

There is a high needs thread in Parenting actually, in your post you do not mention if you have slings? I learned to shower with the baby in a sling and do many others things. My high needs baby demanded it!

[kgreenemama]

Almadianna: Shower with the baby in a sling. OMG. That is too funny. If I'd have thought of it, I may have tried it myself. He's much to big for a sling now (20 months and 30 pounds), so we often bathe together.

Can you direct me to the HN thread in Parenting? I can't find it anywhere. THANKS!

[Louisep]

ME! I'm in. We're moving into high needs toddler territory now. What lies ahead???!!!

[kgreenemama]

Okay, so what next? I still can't find the HN thread in Parenting. Anyone else? Do we move to Finding your Tribe?

I'm SO excited to talk to moms who understand HN babies. Some of my friends - bless their hearts - just look at me like I'm crazy when I try to explain that I couldn't take my son for a stroller ride, because I'd end up walking home with him in my arms and pushing the dang stroller with my elbows.

I'm curious: when did you know your DC was going to be a handful? I realized that Jude was unlike other babies when I couldn't set him down without him screaming in the bassinet in the hospital on the first night of his life. Even the nurses were baffled. They took him to the nursery so I could finally get some rest, and he woke up the rest of the babes. They wheeled him out to the nurses station, where I could hear his little wha-whas from my room. I buzzed the nurse and said, "If that's my son, you can bring him back." I haven't had a full-nights sleep since then - 20 months ago. He just wanted to BF CONSTANTLY.

[almadianna]

I will movethe thread to Parentingright now, it can be merged with the existing one later.

[annettemarie]

Actually, I'm going to move this to Life with a Babe.

[almadianna]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Actually, I'm going to move this to Life with a Babe.

THanks for the help mama.

[BakerGirl]

Count me in! I hardly have time to post, my little guy demands all my attention, night and day. But it is comforting to know that others are going through the same thing - too often in real life I feel like a freak trying to explain what I have to do. It usually just leads to unwanted advice or pitying looks.

[Italiamom]

I had wondered why I've never seen a tribe like this before! My DS also falls under 11 out of the 12 "features of a high-need baby." As he's gotten older we've learned a lot of tricks to work WITH his personality. But it's still hard and limiting. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard the "How can he not like the car. MY baby LOVED the car?" or "all babies love stroller rides..." Oof. I'd be a rich woman!

Originally Posted by almadianna

I learned to shower with the baby in a sling and do many others things. My high needs baby demanded it!

As for showering with the sling. OMG what a GREAT idea! I have a Slingling that someone gave me that I don't use really because it's not as comfy as the Ergo. But it would be awesome for showers. DS is such a wiggler/reacher/slippery little bugger that I have to hold on with both hands for dear life. Most days I just don't get a shower until DH gets home from work. But not anymore! TOTALLY using that one!

[almadianna]

Originally Posted by Italiamom

I had wondered why I've never seen a tribe like this before! My DS also falls under 11 out of the 12 "features of a high-need baby." As he's gotten older we've learned a lot of tricks to work WITH his personality. But it's still hard and limiting. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard the "How can he not like the car. MY baby LOVED the car?" or "all babies love stroller rides..." Oof. I'd be a rich woman!



As for showering with the sling. OMG what a GREAT idea! I have a Slingling that someone gave me that I don't use really because it's not as comfy as the Ergo. But it would be awesome for showers. DS is such a wiggler/reacher/slippery little bugger that I have to hold on with both hands for dear life. Most days I just don't get a shower until DH gets home from work. But not anymore! TOTALLY using that one!

I have a mesh "Water sling" that dries fast and that is what I used. But I think anything would work, its water after all.. it gets wet when it gets washed right?

[BlueWolf]

Originally Posted by almadianna

I have a mesh "Water sling" that dries fast and that is what I used. But I think anything would work, its water after all.. it gets wet when it gets washed right?

Where did you get your mesh sling? I totally need one!



I'm at my wits end this week. It's incredibly cold outside, so we're housebound and I'm going nuts! I'm out of ideas on how to keep my 6mo content and happy. Right now life is revolving around her naps when I can take a breather.

[almadianna]

I got it on TBW in the FSOT section but I think that you can get solarveil slings at many online retailers.

[Italiamom]

Originally Posted by BlueWolf

I'm at my wits end this week. It's incredibly cold outside, so we're housebound and I'm going nuts! I'm out of ideas on how to keep my 6mo content and happy. Right now life is revolving around her naps when I can take a breather.

Has the winter been an especially hard time for anyone else? DS needs stimulation, stimulation, stimulation... And it was fine in the summertime when I could just pop him in the Ergo and go outside for a few hours. But now it's so cold/rainy/snowy here It seems like winter stir crazies are magnified by having a babe who is SO not satisfied with staying in one place...

[Auraji]

Originally Posted by Italiamom

Has the winter been an especially hard time for anyone else? DS needs stimulation, stimulation, stimulation... And it was fine in the summertime when I could just pop him in the Ergo and go outside for a few hours. But now it's so cold/rainy/snowy here It seems like winter stir crazies are magnified by having a babe who is SO not satisfied with staying in one place...

YES!
It was so much easier when I could just go on long walks with her. She's happy outside, in stores, seeing people, MOVING. Must.be.in.constant.movement!

I find it takes a lot more work on my part to keep her entertained and happy now that we're indoors must of the time. I also dont have a car, so I cant just drive with her somewhere...

She spents a good 5-8 in my arms everyday. She's now 8 months, but always hated the swing, to be put down. Now she's liking being on the floor more, if Im in the room with her. And now I've been able to leave her with Daddy for a couple of hours without her screaming at the top of her lungs.

[almadianna]

do you have any indoor play areas near you?

that might help maybe walking around a mall? we did that last year often, just walk around a shopping center to get their energy out.

[Auraji]

Originally Posted by almadianna

do you have any indoor play areas near you?

that might help maybe walking around a mall? we did that last year often, just walk around a shopping center to get their energy out.

I've been to the mall two times with her, but I try avoiding going there unless there's something I really need to buy.

There's a My Little Gym close. I want to look into it. I dont think we can afford it, but maybe I can convince dss's mom for him to come here a 3 days a week instead of daycare because I think you can pay a certain price per family. If we can save money from the daycare, they can both go there and it seems fun, but again I dont know much about it.