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Potty Training - have we already messed this up?

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
Background info: My DS is almost 2.5. When he was about 18 months, he was showing all the signs of being ready to learn how to go potty. So we bought a little potty and put it in the bathroom, and let him kind of check it out and start to get used to the idea of it. At that time, he was super excited about it. He started wanting right away to go, but we had just moved, and DH had just started back to school and a new job. So we decided to wait a little bit to train.

So, fast forward to around DS's 2nd bday, we started thinking about it again. He again showed some interest and we again decided not a good time. We had multiple family events going on involving travelling, and DH was also still really busy with school/work. So we made the decision to wait until the Christmas break when we could both be really involved in it and when we had plenty of time to do it.

However, it has gone really badly. He is no longer excited about the potty. We talked it up for a couple of days, about how exciting it would be for him to use the potty, and then we put him in underwear and took him to the potty every 30 minutes and he got to have a reward if he went. The first two days went great and he had only one accident each day.

Well, it went great except he wouldn't poop on the potty at all. He only would poop in a diaper. Ok..but we thought we would eventually overcome that. So we kept at it. But after the 2nd day, he has refused to go on the potty at all. He doesn't care if he gets his underwear wet. It doesn't seem to bother him. If we let him go nakey, he just pees on the floor. He won't pee on the potty and he is not enticed by any rewards.

So now I am really regretting not doing this back when he was excited about it, because now it seems like he just could care less.

Is he not ready? He is very bright and advanced in so many ways..so we feel positive it is not that he doesn't "get" it. He gets it..he just seems to feel like it is an inconvenience to him to have to go to the potty when he could just go in a diaper. He tells us if he poops in his diaper, and that definitely is uncomfortable for him. But still not inspirational enough for him to go on the potty!

So, what to do? He sits on the potty and pulls his pants down and then gets right back up and says "I finished!" although he hasn't done anything, and he runs out. OR he won't even sit on it at all.

I am all ears and ready for advice! TIA
post #2 of 9
That kind of happened with my first dd. She was excited at 18 mos and then lost the excitement and didn't really consistently use the toilet until almost 3. But as soon as she decided it was time, she was done. Second dd was excited at 18 mos too but didn't really have the know how yet. But then she just decided at just over 2 that she wanted to wear panties like big sis and bam, that was it. She's completely potty learned in a matter of a week. She's also staying dry at nap and nighttime. Dd1 is still wetting at night. I believe that they just kind of do it when they're ready. I'd lay off for awhile and really try not to make a big deal of it. Casually mention it here or there and offer but if he refuses, I'd just play it slow and let him decide when he's ready. Other posters may have different ideas, but that's what worked for us.
post #3 of 9
My DS1's 33 months and we've been kind of half heartidly potty training for months now. We have a potty and a potty seat for the toilet, and if we let him go nakey he uses it, but he's just as happy to wear a diaper and will *NOT* tell you when he goes (he hates being changed)... and just, yeah. I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually. And probably would have by now if we'd paid more attention... but its just not super high on my priority list. soo...
post #4 of 9
Thread Starter 
Thanks ladies. I think we'll just hold off for awhile and see what happens. I'm sure he will be ready to try again one day.
post #5 of 9
MOST boys usually don't potty train until age 3 anyway.. so don't feel as if you messed up. Lots of kids show interest early on, and then no longer want to do it. He's just not ready yet. He'll let ya know when. My two older boys both potty trained at 3 and it was like, one day they just decided to go on the potty.. no fighting or anything. it was great With my youngest, I'm not even going to push it.. I'll take my cue from him. Lots less headache that way LOL

Good luck Momma!
post #6 of 9
I have been potty training my son since around late Oct. and he now only goes in a diaper when we are out (only on very rare occasions) and sometimes at night. He just turned 18 months old. I don't think there is a set time to potty train at all. I know that I had a little bit of a hard time getting him to sit on the potty, so I let him eat raisins when he sat on it. They are his favorite treat and I would put them next to the potty, so he would connect the two. Maybe try a favorite toy or book or snack that can be his "potty treat" for sitting on the potty. Only let him play/eat with it when he sits on it, and put him on the potty during the day when he is most likely to go, like after sleeping, a nap, or after a while with not going.

Also, I don't know why people start with the potty in the bathroom, this for my son was not a familiar place for him. I put the potty chair in the living room, so when he was diaperless, and he began to "go" I could just plop him on there and grab the raisins and potty book and he would finish there. Soon he got the drift after telling him "this is where your potty goes".

It was fun for us, I know it can be stressfull. I didn't take the "all or nothing" approach. I wasn't prepared for that, and knew I did not want to clean up poop and pee all day, and knew I couldn't spend all day at arms length from him. This is what we did and it worked.

In the morning, put him on the potty, I made up a "potty song" we read a potty book and ate raisins, usually he would go. After that, we would go about an hour diaperless after pumping him full of milk and water. Gradually, we upped the time to 2 hrs, then so on. After his nap (I don't know if your son still takes one) we would start again. If I ever felt like, I don't want to do this, or I got really frustrated, I just put a diaper on, and restarted later that day.

That is what worked for me, I hope you have a success with whatever you do.
post #7 of 9
I am of the "do it when they want to" mentality as well. My first son did not fully potty learn (I'm not counting overnight) until age 4-1/2. My second son is not yet there at almost 4. My girls were both around 3-1/2. I just find it so much less stressful to let them teach themselves by watching us and wanting to. I do let them go naked a lot and they have all been fully trained while naked only for a good year before being fully trained while clothed.
post #8 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeatherRenee View Post
MOST boys usually don't potty train until age 3 anyway.. so don't feel as if you messed up. Lots of kids show interest early on, and then no longer want to do it. He's just not ready yet. He'll let ya know when. My two older boys both potty trained at 3 and it was like, one day they just decided to go on the potty.. no fighting or anything. it was great With my youngest, I'm not even going to push it.. I'll take my cue from him. Lots less headache that way LOL

Good luck Momma!
I will have to disagree with the statement that most boys dont potty train till 3. My older 3 were all potty trained between 2 & 2 1/2 as were 2 of my nephews and most of our playgroup.

There is an early window kids give you where they first become aware of peeing/pooping if you are lucky and catch it they seem to be done in diapers early. If you dont then they seem to take longer 3 -4yrs old.
I found a week of bottomless seemed to do the trick with my older 3 ( Jack is only 1 so I have a year yet) 2 of mine didnt wear underpants for several months after potty training anytime they were in anything tight ( like undies) they had more accidents.

Dont completely abandon it keep asking or just announce its potty time. It may just click any day.
post #9 of 9
Maybe if you just stick him on the toilet with a child seat he won't feel the same way he does about using the little potty. I would also have times of day where I put him on the potty, like when waking up or before the bath.
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