4 is so challenging! I'm not someone who always knows what to say or what to do or how to react. i need time to think. This doesn't seem to work with a 4 year old! So, I'd love to hear if you think this in normal and if you happen to have an advice for me...
1. Getting dressed - all of a sudden, all of DD clothes are "bothering her." So, now she will only wear one outfit (it's the only one with the "right neck"). If that outfit isn't clean or for some reason she can't wear it, she freaks out and refuses to get dressed. she is stubborn and won't let up - she'll cry REALLY hard for a while. The only solution we could find was to wash the outfit while she cuddled on the couch under a blanket. This took hours! Needless to say, I've been doing laundry daily so that she has her outfit ready in the morning. But, I wonder if that is really what I should be doing - or should I try to convince her to wear somethign else? Honestly, it doesn't bother me...i don't care if she wears the same thing every day though it does require me to do laundry every night. And, if it gets dirty or wet when she is wearing it, the whole thing starts again (it would need to get unusually dirty or wet to set her off though).
2. Eating - she used to eat so well. She'd eat anything you put in front of her and never complain about it. Recently (the past month), she doesn't like to eat and refuses to eat much of anything. This freaks me out because she is on the small side. If she wasn't so small, this would be easier. I'm trying to offer more snacks and different foods etc. But, sometimes, even the foods she ate yesterday, she won't like today so it is a total guessing game. Sometimes I feel like she is manipulating me and that really gets me going. ugh. And, if she doesn't eat regularly, she totally crashes and it's a disaster trying to get her back on track again.
3. School. She goes to preschool for 2 hours per day. She loves school once she gets there and always talks about it positively. But, often in the morning of a school day, she'll start the day out crying about leaving me and going to school. She gets to anxious about being away from me. why? she likes it when she is there. this has been going on for years...i would never have imagined it would last this long.
4. Doctor/Dentist. She is TERRIFIED of the doctor and the dentist. Actually, she is okay with our primary care provider who is a naturopath but any other doctor...forget it! She gets truly anxious even thinking about going to a new doctor. Over the holiday, we were out of town and she cut her chin really bad (you could see the bone). She wasn't upset about the blood or the pain or the cut but was freaking out about going to a new doctor (we didn't even mention getting stitches). I swear, had we gone, she would have had to been put under in order to get stitches (turns out she didn't need them - we used steri strips and it's all healed with a teeny tiny scar - phew). Then, the dentist is even worse. She has cavities that we need to get filled somehow but she won't even sit in the dentist chair. We go about once per month - not for appointments but so that she can get used to the place and the people and just sit in the chairs (hopefully) and play. After the dentist saw her the first time, she recommended we come in monthly and get her more comfortable (she also told me she hasn't seen so much fear in a child in a long time). The crazy part is that it really is fear - not just the "i don't want to go" but serious anxiety and fear. it makes me so sad. she has not had any hospitalizations or any other intense doctor experiences.
5. Sassy. She is sassy lately. I have about a trillion examples of this but can't really think of one that really sums it all up besides to say she is sassy. I think this is normal...but sometimes I am not so great at dealing with it.
She is also hilariously funny, beautiful, adventurous, caring with her brother, sensitive to those around her, and tremendously loving.
Share your stories of your 4 year old challenges! That might help more than anything else
...and of course if you have any advice, i'd love to hear it. I just want to make sure I'm doing the right things...and sometimes taht is so hard.
1. Getting dressed - all of a sudden, all of DD clothes are "bothering her." So, now she will only wear one outfit (it's the only one with the "right neck"). If that outfit isn't clean or for some reason she can't wear it, she freaks out and refuses to get dressed. she is stubborn and won't let up - she'll cry REALLY hard for a while. The only solution we could find was to wash the outfit while she cuddled on the couch under a blanket. This took hours! Needless to say, I've been doing laundry daily so that she has her outfit ready in the morning. But, I wonder if that is really what I should be doing - or should I try to convince her to wear somethign else? Honestly, it doesn't bother me...i don't care if she wears the same thing every day though it does require me to do laundry every night. And, if it gets dirty or wet when she is wearing it, the whole thing starts again (it would need to get unusually dirty or wet to set her off though).
2. Eating - she used to eat so well. She'd eat anything you put in front of her and never complain about it. Recently (the past month), she doesn't like to eat and refuses to eat much of anything. This freaks me out because she is on the small side. If she wasn't so small, this would be easier. I'm trying to offer more snacks and different foods etc. But, sometimes, even the foods she ate yesterday, she won't like today so it is a total guessing game. Sometimes I feel like she is manipulating me and that really gets me going. ugh. And, if she doesn't eat regularly, she totally crashes and it's a disaster trying to get her back on track again.
3. School. She goes to preschool for 2 hours per day. She loves school once she gets there and always talks about it positively. But, often in the morning of a school day, she'll start the day out crying about leaving me and going to school. She gets to anxious about being away from me. why? she likes it when she is there. this has been going on for years...i would never have imagined it would last this long.
4. Doctor/Dentist. She is TERRIFIED of the doctor and the dentist. Actually, she is okay with our primary care provider who is a naturopath but any other doctor...forget it! She gets truly anxious even thinking about going to a new doctor. Over the holiday, we were out of town and she cut her chin really bad (you could see the bone). She wasn't upset about the blood or the pain or the cut but was freaking out about going to a new doctor (we didn't even mention getting stitches). I swear, had we gone, she would have had to been put under in order to get stitches (turns out she didn't need them - we used steri strips and it's all healed with a teeny tiny scar - phew). Then, the dentist is even worse. She has cavities that we need to get filled somehow but she won't even sit in the dentist chair. We go about once per month - not for appointments but so that she can get used to the place and the people and just sit in the chairs (hopefully) and play. After the dentist saw her the first time, she recommended we come in monthly and get her more comfortable (she also told me she hasn't seen so much fear in a child in a long time). The crazy part is that it really is fear - not just the "i don't want to go" but serious anxiety and fear. it makes me so sad. she has not had any hospitalizations or any other intense doctor experiences.
5. Sassy. She is sassy lately. I have about a trillion examples of this but can't really think of one that really sums it all up besides to say she is sassy. I think this is normal...but sometimes I am not so great at dealing with it.
She is also hilariously funny, beautiful, adventurous, caring with her brother, sensitive to those around her, and tremendously loving.
Share your stories of your 4 year old challenges! That might help more than anything else
...and of course if you have any advice, i'd love to hear it. I just want to make sure I'm doing the right things...and sometimes taht is so hard.
: DD is turning 4 next monday. I'm already seeing some of this stuff... I've had a hard time dealing lately because I'm hormonal and uncomfortable from the pregnancy and my 2 year old hasn't been the easiest kid ever, either, lately. *sigh*
is the contradictions. Gosh how I love to be contradicted on every single thing I say. And I don't know anything. My brother was in town a couple of weeks ago. K asked where Uncle Matthew was. I said I didn't know, but probably at Grandma's house. No he isn't. Well, he might not be, but I am pretty sure he is. No he isn't. Okay, YOU did ask ME where he was, right? So that means that YOU really don't know either. That conversation ended with me telling him we must have quite time now (we were in the car). Cause you know you get nowhere arguing with a four year old.
And I'm not doing well handling it. I'm not even sure where to go with it, because everything I try gets contradicted. Not only that, but even when I'm trying to have a pleasant conversation about something (whatever it is - not an important thing or some sort of command) I get contradicted, too! I don't even want to talk to her 
I am the one she takes her Power Trips out on more than anyone. My mom always talks about what a sweet wonderful happy people-pleasing child dd1 is... and I'm like 
... I guess they save up their toughest feelings for us because they feel safe. 
But yeah. I feel like she's 4 going on 14. Help.
And hugs and kisses are the best.
