How old was your DC when they could wipe themselves after a BM?

[ParisApril]

My almost 4 1/2 year old isn't interested in learning how and I am very intrested in him learning how.

Is it too soon?

[MommaLauraRN]

My oldest son is just now 6.5. In December we finally told him we're done wiping him! He would always call out when he was done. Every few months we would encourage him to wipe himself and I can remember a couple of years ago he would end up getting poop on his hand and basically just wipe poop up under his scrotum...it was honestly cleaner and easier to just do it for him. We had to have several talks about the right amount of TP, balling it up, keeping fingers out of the way etc. He is in first grade so I wanted him to be capable of wiping on his own if he needed to go at school. Now he does fine by himself. He called out for "inspection" the first few times and his bottom and hands/fingers were clean. He has finally "gotten it". I guess I never considered that parenting would mean having to teach another person how to wipe their own butt!!! The good news is that my youngest son, 2.5, is out of diapers!!! So one independent butt-wiper and one potty-pooper...the best Christmas gifts ever :-) I'm a njurse though, so I'm pretty sure I'm on board for a lifetime of wiping other people's butts!! Good luck!

[newbie_mary]

I know that Montessori people believe in letting them wipe themselves from the beginning, and then just cleaning them later (like before bedtime).

My DS likes to wipe himself (he's almost 4) and does a decent job sometimes. But I am there to supervise and do a final wipe at the end and give him feedback about whether he "got it all" or not. He is getting better!

[tinuviel_k]

My daughter was five years old when she started learning to wipe, but we ALWAYS needed to do a follow-up wipe. I'd say she didn't really learn to wipe perfectly by herself until age six.

Before age five she didn't have the coordination or reach to do a good "front to back" wipe every time. I was not willing to subject my kiddo to constant urinary tract infections from improper wiping technique (common in girls, and several of my friends with "early wiping' girls had to deal with this) so we helped and instructed until we could see that she was really ready.

[honeybunmom]

My 4 year old daughter wipes by herself, now. She turned 4 in late October and has been doing it since around then. I was just done with it. Especially with newborn. Two butts to wipe was too much for me. And, fortunately, she was fine with doing it herself, too. She has not complained about having to do it. If she did, I'm sure I'd still be assisting in some way.

[Alyantavid]

Sometime before he started kindergarten, so 5ish? I know he was doing it himself at daycare before then, but he wouldn't at home.

[Limabean1975]

My just-turned-4 year old has been interested (on and off) in doing it himself for a few months. Let me tell you, at this point, I wish he wasn't! I know he has to make mistakes to learn, but wow, he does a pretty bad job and it ain't pretty! Sometimes he'll let me do a final wipe, other times he shuts the bathroom door and does it all himself. Stinky butt!

[hollytheteacher]

My son is 2 years and 4 months and still definitely needs help. I always have him try it first (which usually is him just swiping the toilet paper on his cute little butt cheeks hehe) and then I actually do it.

I would guess the average is age 3 based on kids at the preschool that all do fine doing it themselves at that age, but obviously it is going to be different for each kid and might also depend on what age they potty trained at.

[Mpenny1001]

DD has wiped herself since she learned to go on the toilet, although her wiping skills at ages 3 and 4 left a lot to be desired. We would just do quick followup swipe. Now at 5.5 she usually does a good job by herself, but she will still ask occasionally for us to do a quick double-check if she feels like she wasn't able to do a good job.

[Tamsin]

DD1 was 5 in the December and that was when I relinquished control, as she was starting Kindergarten in February. I found letting her do it with wipes made the transition way easier. I checked her for about a month, until I was certain she knew what she was doing. She would have still preferred I kept doing it for her, but I made her do it, as I wouldnt be there to do it at school.

[CorasMama]

How old was your DC when they could wipe themselves after a BM?

Could? Or DID?

[ProtoLawyer]

My stepdaughter learned to wipe as she was getting toilet trained (the day care provider reinforced this, too--to graduate to the preschool room, kids had to be toileting, including wiping, independently). So, by 3, she was doing a decent enough job to not end up with rashes. She had a bath at night to take care of any lingering issues.

One thing that helped in the "could" versus "did" department, besides the preschool which didn't help the kids unless there was an accident, was just not doing it anymore. We'd check but we wouldn't do a follow-up wipe--"oh, you need one more." (I'm glad she wasn't going through the big NO!/"my seat belt buckle is too cold so I'm not gonna buckle"/helplessness phase she is right now.)

She did have long arms and no sensory issues, though, so this was probably an easier transition than many.

[tjjazzy]

my little man learned last summer, when he was about 3.5, because he was starting kindergarten in the fall (kids start at 4 here but they can start before they're 4 as long as their bdays are before dec. 31st.) he was around a lot of kids who were potty trained long before he was at preschool (he went from age 2.5 until he went to school) and his best friend, who is 6 months older than he is, was potty trained before he was, so he had some good influences as well.
p.s. he always asks for help if he thinks he hasn't done a good job but his poops are generally not soft or messy (sorry TMI) so that's not often.

[longmountainart]

My son just started doing that himself about 6-7 months ago and he is 5 1/2. we did the same thing by encouraging his own wiping and then a follow up wipe. He will still call me for messier bm's when that happens but its not often. I tried not to make a big deal about it either way. i of course praised him when he did it but if he didnt oh well. It just really depends on your child and patience level. There was a point where dad and i made a stand and told him we arent doing it first. he had to do it first then we would do a follow up. That seemed to help when we first made the transition.

[Grace and Granola]

My ds was potty trained at 2.5 and he really really wanted to go to preschool when he turned 3. The school's rule was that he had to wipe himself, so for a couple of weeks before he turned 3 we practiced and I told him that he needed to learn before he went to preschool. I was super nervous about him being able to, but he learned and never looked back. He is now 4.5 and only calls me in for "emergencies." My ds2 who is almost 3 is much more laid back and I do not see him wiping himself anytime real soon. But maybe he needs the proper motivation like ds1 did!

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by CorasMama

Could? Or DID?

Exactly. My DS, who will be 4 tomorrow, knows how as I have seen him do it numerous times, but some times needs a little help. Of course, I don't mind - I would rather him be 100% clean than not ask.
But he doesn't seem to be asking for help at preschool as he comes home with 'streaks' in his undies. Need to nip this in the bud.

[lovermont]

I was just thinking about starting a thread to ask this.
Ds is 3.5 I've been telling him recently while wiping him: soon you're going to have to wipe you're own bum.
His response: yeah, when I get big like you and Daddy.
Uh oh!

Originally Posted by Heatherb917

But maybe he needs the proper motivation like ds1 did!

I wonder if nothing would be motivating enough? Ds is pretty laid back and I can't think of anything (like school) that he'd care enough about to learn to wipe

[ann_of_loxley]

He was 4 in September and still not yet....

You know - looking at his body...his arms just don't seem the right length to reach properly if you ask me! lol

And even if he could...He wouldn't be able to do it well enough... and me going over a second time just to make sure would certainly put out the fire in his efforts. lol

Hes been a perfectionist when it comes to everything else...So I am sure he will just do it when he is 100% ready.

[meemee]

dd is 7 and still doesnt do a v. good job. she has also on top of that a great ewwwww factor. at her dad's she has a bidet. even with wipes and paper it seems like she doesnt reach very well.

[noobmom]

I try to encourage my 3 yo to do a wipe, but honestly, I'm not sure his arms are really long enough to do a proper wipe from behind. He could certainly reach between his legs, but I don't want to get any bad habits started.