at my wit's end! - Page 4

[mommyto3girls]

Originally Posted by boobs4milk

thank you for that mommyto3girls!!! your situation sounds eerily similar to ours.

this weekend i had a horrific stomach bug and dh had to step up with all 4 of his kids (mine were with their dad). he realized how wearing it is to try and come up with food that his son would eat that is adequately nutritious. he finally just told w to eat it or do without because he was exhausted! he is sick today and thankful that i am here and that i have rules and order in place 24/7.

it's very emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually draining
my whole concern is i want fairness, equality, and LOVE to abound. . and even is we decide to just go with it and let chaos ensue and every man fend for himself at meals, i'd like that to be a united decision that we stand behind. it's not so much about being strict as it is about STICKING TO IT.

The United Decision and sticking to it, really is the biggest thing! I know I said it before, but writing it down and printing it out made it so much easier. The Family Rules are The Family Rules. Not "Mommy Julie's Rules" or "Daddy Matt's Rules" just "Family Rules" It has really helped eliminate a lot of my feelings of being "the bad guy" even if I am the one enforcing them more, the kids know THE RULES were created by us as a United Front

Sorry you were sick, but glad that he actually experienced things himself and was able to notice and appreciate the issues and work you are doing.

I just realized that I never redid my signature line after they all got wiped out so there are no ages to associate with my family Maia turned 7 in Nov. Madison will be 5 in March, Sage will be 5 in May. Our kids are younger, but we also deal with the issues of having 2 kids of the same age, but very different personalities. Whenever people ask how they get along i usually just say "Like siblings, they are either best friends or ripping each others' hair out!" I think that's how most siblings get along

[boobs4milk]

lol@ the ripping each other's hair out! i so get that! actually, we had a set of bathroom rules posted for about 2 yrs until everyone learned to use the bathroom space and be respectful of it. we have 1 bathroom, so we have to be tidy!

i know i seem over-bearing with all the rules, but dsc are allowed to run wild at their mother's. seriously, she sets them outside and doesn't even know where they are sometimes. we went over once to pick up dsc and the mother's other child (age 2 at that time) was naked and playing in the street. when we told the mother, she just laughed?!?! there house reaks of animal pee and it looks like someone shook the house up it's so messy. and before anyone jumps on that...yes we've turned her into soc services and yes we've tried for custody. she gets to keep them because she's the mother and we don't have adequate room for them (3 bd, 1 ba 1800 sq ft house).

it's just so frustrating seeing them live like that, knowing they don't have good parenting, and then trying to make sure that they get good parenting along with knowledge that we love them. and i know dh tries to make up for that, but we can not unparent on the weekends simply because his kids are unparented during the week.

i really think the best thing we can do for them (besides taking them away from the mother which i know can be done but again NOT MY PLACE) is to give them the kind of home that we provide to the other kids during the week and to NOT give them second-rate parenting simply because that's what they are accustomed to!