Sibling bed anyone?

[mamaUK]

Hello, do any of you Waldorf mama's have a sibling bed in your home?

I have two girls, one 4 1/2 and one approaching two. I want to foster a close sibling bond between them and have been thinking about having a sibling bed in my older girl's bedroom so if they want to snuggle up and sleep together they can. Lately, my older girl has talked about being lonely sometimes when she is in bed and that she would like to sleep with her little sister in her bed. I know this wouldn't really be safe to do until the youngest comes up to three years old but I want to prepare for it if we decide to go in that direction (buy a small double bed, chat to them about it etc etc)

We currently live in a three bed home so my older girl could have a small double in her room and the younger could have a single bed in her room, in case she wants to sleep by herself at any point. So I guess it would be their choice if they want to sleep together.

Anybody have any experience of having a sibling bed in their home? I would love to have any advice/thoughts.

I kind of want it to be more than simply sharing a room, I thought it might be comforting for them to have the option to share a bed while they are young iykwim?

[Tashakittie]

My oldest is 3.5, baby is 3 months. When we set up ds1's bedroom, we got a futon bed from ikea. ds1 does not sleep alone, and we wanted something that could fit 2 people. he's also a really light sleeper, so one big family bed was not going to work with a wakeful newborn. dh sleeps with him, but we thought both boys may want to share a bed in the future. it can be folded to be like a couch, and as a bed it is really comfortable. ds1 loves it.

[splath]

I shared a bed with my sister for a long time growing up (we're 3 years apart in age). It worked well when we were small; once we got a little older, not so much lol. I will say though that my sister and I are not that close Not that one has caused the other, but I just thought I'd put it out there.

[Tashakittie]

FWIW, my parents were big on cosleeping. I've personally had issues sleeping alone all my life, and have NEVER been comfortable with it. In my culture (I am of Indian/ Caribbean descent) it was what was always done, and how my parents were raised. My older sister and I were really close growing up, inseparable, absolutely in love with each other as sisters. Especially as I was a preteen, and she a teen, we loved sharing a bed. She had a full sized bed, and we would lay next each other and chat, and laugh, and joke- listening to music- for hours. It was such a great time in my life in that respect, and I will always encourage my children to share such bonds.

[abharrington]

why the need to wait until age three? dd will be three this month...ds is 14 mo and they love sharing a bed. ds is quite large (and strong) for his age...they seem very safe. they sleep in an xl twin.

ETA: just realized this is a waldorf thread...so sorry. why is this specific to waldorf?

[mamaUK]

Originally Posted by abharrington

why the need to wait until age three? dd will be three this month...ds is 14 mo and they love sharing a bed. ds is quite large (and strong) for his age...they seem very safe. they sleep in an xl twin.

ETA: just realized this is a waldorf thread...so sorry. why is this specific to waldorf?

we lead a waldorf inspired home-life and I guess I was just wondering if their was any sort of waldorf stance on it....LOL, I guess I should have mentioned that in my question. I love to hear from people who aren't Waldorf inspired though!

My almost two year old is petite whereas my four and a half year old is quite big so I'm not sure whether it would be safe or not...whether my older girl may lay on her and not realise or pull covers over her face.

[mamaUK]

Originally Posted by Tashakittie

FWIW, my parents were big on cosleeping. I've personally had issues sleeping alone all my life, and have NEVER been comfortable with it. In my culture (I am of Indian/ Caribbean descent) it was what was always done, and how my parents were raised. My older sister and I were really close growing up, inseparable, absolutely in love with each other as sisters. Especially as I was a preteen, and she a teen, we loved sharing a bed. She had a full sized bed, and we would lay next each other and chat, and laugh, and joke- listening to music- for hours. It was such a great time in my life in that respect, and I will always encourage my children to share such bonds.

This is the sort of image I had in my head. I have a twin sister and I had a double bed in my room and she had a single in her room. growing up we sometimes shared and sometimes not. We used to chat and laugh and joke and generally mess about being kids!

[Owen'nZoe]

My 2 sisters and I grew up with a double bed in one bedroom and a single in a different bedroom, and the three of us rotated between the two rooms until I went away to college. When I moved back home during college, I actually moved into my little sister's room with her, too. I'm really greatful for that time, since I got married and moved away right after college - nice memories.

We shared because there was no other option - too many girls, and too few beds , but it worked out just fine. We did fight plenty, and it was really hard not to have your own space sometimes as we got older, but the good memories outnumber the bad. My parents have said that they often wondered if we'd ever go to sleep - we'd stay up to all hours of the night talking and giggling when we were getting along.

[counterGOPI]

love the ideas! right now both my girls still sleep with dh and i but i plan on workingon their bedroom for the next month or 2 and i am hopign to get my oldest (4) in their but i bet she would love if her sister was in there with her!!

[dharmama]

hi mamaUK!

we transitioned our kids out of our family bed and into a sibling bed when they were about 1 1/2 and 3 1/2. (the 1 1/2 year old actually opted to leave our family bed first -- the boy likes his space!!! )

we were trying to encourage our 3 1/2 year old to move into the kids' room so we set them up together in a double futon on the floor. after a while someone gave us two twin beds so we set those up like an L (so their heads were near each other). they used to fall asleep holding hands...it was so cute.

eventually our older started having trouble sleeping and moved her bed (her "nest") back into our room for a while. by the time she moved back, they were ready to have their beds on separate sides of the room.

now they both start the night in there and one or both usually end up in our bed by the morning.

[bethcw]

My girls are 3.5 & 6. They have been sharing a bed for about 8 months. It is working out really well!! Some nights are tough, because they complain about having to sleep together - "she's touching me, she's taking the covers, she's breathing too loud", etc. etc, and other nights we can hear them giggling away and telling secrets to each other at bed time. They are sharing a queen bed, in our spare room. They each have twin beds in their own rooms, and I really wish we had gotten them doubles instead of twins. But this way, they are on equal 'turf' in the queen bed, as it isn't in one or the other's room.

One thing I would be hesitant to do is allow the choice to sometimes sleep together & sometimes not. Routine is so comforting, and I could see it becoming problematic if the routine changes with different sleeping arrangements on a regular basis - at least while they are little.

Good Luck!
Beth

[SageR]

We only have two bedrooms so our children will share no matter what. Right now we cosleep but we'll be transitioning the boys to their own bed as soon as ds2 nightweans. They'll be sharing a double bed since that's what we have! But I also like the idea of promoting closeness, and I think it will be easier for them to leave the family bed if they are together. Eventually we'll get bunkbeds or something.

[mamaUK]

Originally Posted by Owen'nZoe

My parents have said that they often wondered if we'd ever go to sleep - we'd stay up to all hours of the night talking and giggling when we were getting along.

I have wondered whether my two would actually get any sleep LOL

Originally Posted by counterGOPI

love the ideas! right now both my girls still sleep with dh and i but i plan on workingon their bedroom for the next month or 2 and i am hopign to get my oldest (4) in their but i bet she would love if her sister was in there with her!!

My older girl has been going on and on about sharing with her little sister! It's something I'm really mulling over at the moment and having a serious think about. Let me know if you decide to have a sibling bed in your older girls room, you can be my experiment LOL

Originally Posted by dharmama

hi mamaUK!

we transitioned our kids out of our family bed and into a sibling bed when they were about 1 1/2 and 3 1/2. (the 1 1/2 year old actually opted to leave our family bed first -- the boy likes his space!!! )

we were trying to encourage our 3 1/2 year old to move into the kids' room so we set them up together in a double futon on the floor. after a while someone gave us two twin beds so we set those up like an L (so their heads were near each other). they used to fall asleep holding hands...it was so cute.

eventually our older started having trouble sleeping and moved her bed (her "nest") back into our room for a while. by the time she moved back, they were ready to have their beds on separate sides of the room.

now they both start the night in there and one or both usually end up in our bed by the morning.

The idea of a futon on the floor sounds a very safe cosy option, no falling out of bed LOL....i might think about that but I am kind of in love with a cot bed style b/c they look so cosy... a double version of the bed in this link:

http://my-kea.co.uk/home.html

This website does commisions, so I could ask the man to make a small double (is that a Queen size?)

Originally Posted by bethcw

My girls are 3.5 & 6. They have been sharing a bed for about 8 months. It is working out really well!! Some nights are tough, because they complain about having to sleep together - "she's touching me, she's taking the covers, she's breathing too loud", etc. etc, and other nights we can hear them giggling away and telling secrets to each other at bed time. They are sharing a queen bed, in our spare room. They each have twin beds in their own rooms, and I really wish we had gotten them doubles instead of twins. But this way, they are on equal 'turf' in the queen bed, as it isn't in one or the other's room.

One thing I would be hesitant to do is allow the choice to sometimes sleep together & sometimes not. Routine is so comforting, and I could see it becoming problematic if the routine changes with different sleeping arrangements on a regular basis - at least while they are little.

Good Luck!
Beth

Thanks of reminding me about routine, that is so so important in our home and i hadn't considered it while I have been thinking about this...i guess i was worried about them not having a 'choice'... but my younger one is too small to make a decision like this..........there is so much to consider!

[Metasequoia]

Yes!!

This has been our layout ever since Ds was born almost 4 years ago:

Mama, Papa & Ds in a queen bed which is side-carred to a full bed where Dd1 & Dd2 share sleep.

At first it was just Dd1 in the queen with us, and then Dd2 as well. Once I was pregnant with Ds, we got the full bed for the girls - things were getting REALLY tight.

We love it, the girls have never asked to change this arrangement. They're very sweet together. They sleep in the latest and often lay there and chat and knit when they first wake up, before they come downstairs.

I suspect that as they get older, we'll all need a little more space. I would definitely try to keep their shared bed because they love the security of having each other & I want to foster a close relationship between them. If not a full or queen bed, I'd get a twin over full bunk (or a full over full) so they always have the option of sharing a bed.

[zoebird]

meta,

just for cool clarity, you have one big bed--a queen and double beside it-- where 5 of you sleep together. your eldest will be 10 soon and your youngest will be 4 right?

that's a pretty sweet deal.

my son is only 16 mo and currently has no siblings (and unless we adopt, likely won't). he loves cosleeping and we have no intention of moving him.

but we were talking about keeping him with us in our room (having a family bedroom, just bringing in his own bed when he's ready for it) until he's a preteen or teen or seems to feel the need for his own room.

a lot of folks seem uncomfortable with this idea, but i know that--internationally, "tribally"--many families share the same bedroom or even the same bed until the child moves out! inspired by the images of how different families from around the world sleep (a unique art installation at the Chicago airport's international terminal), i began to really consider just having us all share a bedroom!

i don't know why i like the idea so much; but i do like what you wrote because it is like the idea that is in my head.

it's very 'unamerican.' LOL

[Metasequoia]

Originally Posted by zoebird

meta,

just for cool clarity, you have one big bed--a queen and double beside it-- where 5 of you sleep together. your eldest will be 10 soon and your youngest will be 4 right?

Yes, one big family bed.

Originally Posted by zoebird

it's very 'unamerican.' LOL

Yes, I try to be.

[mamaUK]

Originally Posted by Metasequoia

Yes!!

If not a full or queen bed, I'd get a twin over full bunk (or a full over full) so they always have the option of sharing a bed.

Wow, it sounds like you have a really wonderful sleeping arrangement!
I'm not sure what you mean about a twin bed, we don't have that phrase in the UK (at least i don't think, we do....unless I've just never heard it LOL)

UK bed terms:

Single bed
double bed
queen bed (slightly bigger than a double)
King bed (Slightly bigger again)

and then bunk beds (one single bed above another single bed)

so I'm not sure what you mean by twin. Sorry to be a bit stupid!

[zoebird]

a twin is a single. i know, these terms. it's like how you use metric and we don't. talk about confusing. and i really don't get what a "stone" is. it's definitely using the english or non-metric system, but man is that confusing!

yeah, we talked about having a family bed--queen plus single when he's old enough to have his own . . . pushed together as one, and then when he's older, separate it (if he wants), and then put him in his own space if he wants that, too.

i like smaller houses as well. i'm weird like that 1000-1200 square feet is about right.

[lauren]

Moving to Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting

[aprons_and_acorns]

Originally Posted by mamaUK

Anybody have any experience of having a sibling bed in their home? I would love to have any advice/thoughts.

I kind of want it to be more than simply sharing a room, I thought it might be comforting for them to have the option to share a bed while they are young iykwim?

I had a sibling bed with my sister when we were little. We loved it. I would definitely recommend giving it a try. It was so cozy and warm and nice.