typical teen behaviour or do we have a problem? *update post 39* - Page 4

[Tofu the Geek]

Well I just tried the number sequence from my phone that our cell provider told me would work to check the # of text message sent and it does NOT work. So, I called them, and apparently there is NO way for her to check this from her phone. The only way to check the messages is online and that gives you a total of all send AND received per day, but does not distinguish between the sent and received. I can expand the day and look at each day by hour but then I have to add up the amount sent one by one for each hour of the day to get the total for the day. Totally convoluted and time consuming.

The other alternative is to create her a password for the online account and let her login. Then it's her doing the convoluted process instead of me but she'll have full access to the account which means she can change plans, add features, drop features, buy a new phone etc. She would NOT intentionally do any of this, but all she has to do is make a wrong click and she's changed something on our account. Or if she needs to check while at a friend's and forgets to log out, then other people have access to our account.

So, our cell company has:

• no way for a child to check their sent message directly from their phone
• no way for a child to check text messages sent online without having full access to their parents' account
• no easy way to distinguish between # sent and # received online
• no way to automatically block text messages once a child has reached their monthly limit
• no way to send a text message or email when a child gets within so many of their allowed text messages

Canadian cell companies suck.

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by Tofu the Geek

[/LIST]Canadian cell companies suck.

They totally do!!!

OT - but I wanted to track our downloading once and it was so convuluted that I gave up. My sister the computer geek also gave up.

I cannot see cell phones being any better. They do this on purpose (of course) because if you cannot check easily you will not bother. You will download too much and then they make more $$$$.

Once upon a time I had a cell. For hitting the online button I was charged 9.50$. I was able to have them "lock" this feature - but I still had to pay the 9.50. Grrrrrr

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Tofu the Geek

We don't have voicemail. It would cost us another $15 per month to add the 10 message plan to each of our phones. The texting options we have were included with the family plan, voicemail was not an included option available.

WOW! That's the opposite of ours. Unlimited voice mail is free, text is extra.

Originally Posted by Tofu the Geek

[*]no easy way to distinguish between # sent and # received online ....
Canadian cell companies suck.

How annoying!!! There's no way for anyone on the account to figure out where they stand on the numbers that effect their bill!

Oh Canada!

Needing to check on-line or needing full access to the account to check don't bother me, but it sounds like there's no way you can check to see where you stand as the month goes along.

Is there a way on her phone to look over her texts for the day and just count them? My phone doesn't tell me how many call's I've made, but I can press a button and see my calls for the day, so I *could* figure it out if I really wanted to.

[CarrieMF]

So, our cell company has:

no way for a child to check their sent message directly from their phone
no way for a child to check text messages sent online without having full access to their parents' account
no easy way to distinguish between # sent and # received online
no way to automatically block text messages once a child has reached their monthly limit
no way to send a text message or email when a child gets within so many of their allowed text messages
Canadian cell companies suck.

the $8/month for unlimited texting would solve this problem though.

If it's $15/month for voice mail it sounds like your cel company sucks.lol We have 3 phones(me, dh & 11dd). Our bill is $127 + taxes. We're on $40/each/month & we got the extra protection if our dd loses/breaks her phone for $7/month. Our plan includes unlimited texting, voice mail, unlimited calling(between ourselves) & 150minutes. We use about half the minutes & I may go down to the $30plan because of it.

[Tofu the Geek]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

the $8/month for unlimited texting would solve this problem though.

Except that I don't want her unlimited texting.

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

If it's $15/month for voice mail it sounds like your cel company sucks.lol We have 3 phones(me, dh & 11dd). Our bill is $127 + taxes. We're on $40/each/month & we got the extra protection if our dd loses/breaks her phone for $7/month. Our plan includes unlimited texting, voice mail, unlimited calling(between ourselves) & 150minutes. We use about half the minutes & I may go down to the $30plan because of it.

It's Telus and the voicemail would be $5 for each phone, so $15 total. I wouldn't say our plan sucks, I thought it was actually quite decent. We pay $90.24 before tax (including all features and system access fees, etc.). That's for 3 phones, unlimited calling between us wherever we are in Canada, 550 minutes to share (which we totally don't need but they gave us some bonus minutes and there is no cheaper plan), caller id on each phone, 1000 outgoing text messages for DD and 30 outgoing text messages on DH's phone and mine.

Our plans don't exist anymore but if I switched to the new plans it would cost $92. We'd have less minutes (which might be fine) but voicemail that holds THREE message each. That assuming the same text messaging we have right now. Anymore text messaging would up the cost.

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

Needing to check on-line or needing full access to the account to check don't bother me, but it sounds like there's no way you can check to see where you stand as the month goes along.

It gets better. The hours listed on the web page are GMT. So everything is hours off from our time and makes the days off as well. So, if she wants to check how many texts she sent in one day, she actually has to check two days online since GMT puts her message onto the next day once it hits a certain time in the evening.

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

Is there a way on her phone to look over her texts for the day and just count them? My phone doesn't tell me how many call's I've made, but I can press a button and see my calls for the day, so I *could* figure it out if I really wanted to.

Sort of. She has a folder called Outbox/Sent which holds 100 messages. Once it hits 100, if she doesn't delete them, it doesn't save the next outgoing message, so if she hadn't realized she hit 100 and forgot to delete, then she'd miss messages that add to her count unless she keeps track of them manually.

[junipermuse]

So, my daughter is not yet a teen (nor even close to being a teen), but I was a teen once so maybe that counts for something. If I were in the OP's shoes these would be my priorities

1. Avoid paying crazy-high overage fees
2. Make sure dd was spending plenty of quality time with her family
3. Make sure dd was not falling behind in sleep, school or extra curriculars

and a very very last #4 would be helping dd not over-text

For me it would be important enough to avoid risking the extra fee to have the unlimited texting and then find some other way to help dd limit her texting. Also for me the ability or right to text would be dependent on her meeting the requirements of #2 and #3. If she was it wouldn't matter to me how much she was texting. What if you helped her pick some appropriate times to return text messages. Could she set aside maybe 15 minutes to return texts after school and another 15 min before putting her phone away at night. You could also only let her have the phone when she's out of the house, since its purpose is to stay in touch with you and dad, and if her friends need to reach her urgently they could just call the house phone. I would still allow her to have the phone a couple times each evening, to respond to her friends texts. If she is responsible and cuts down the amount she is texting she could earn her freedom with the phone back. Lastly I think it's important to have reasonable expectations about how much time a teen/preteen wants to spend with mom and dad compared to a 8-10 year old. And frankly from what I remember, my junior high years (11-14) were the worst for me as far as not wanting to spend time with my parents and spending too much time talking on the phone. By the time I was in High School I talked very little on the phone and quite enjoyed my parents company again.

[CarrieMF]

Except that I don't want her unlimited texting.

she doesn't need to know you have unlimited texting, it'd save you another $240 bill.

It's Telus and the voicemail would be $5 for each phone, so $15 total. I wouldn't say our plan sucks, I thought it was actually quite decent. We pay $90.24 before tax (including all features and system access fees, etc.). That's for 3 phones, unlimited calling between us wherever we are in Canada, 550 minutes to share (which we totally don't need but they gave us some bonus minutes and there is no cheaper plan), caller id on each phone, 1000 outgoing text messages for DD and 30 outgoing text messages on DH's phone and mine.

Our plans don't exist anymore but if I switched to the new plans it would cost $92. We'd have less minutes (which might be fine) but voicemail that holds THREE message each. That assuming the same text messaging we have right now. Anymore text messaging would up the cost.

I'd look into that again. When we got our new phones in December we looked at Telus. For 3 phones we could have unlimited texting, 150minutes, unlimited minutes between our phones, voice mail included. For $30 each(so $90 + taxes). The plan was pretty much exactly the same as the one we purchased with Bell, but we went with Bell due to a larger variety of phones to choose from.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by junipermuse

. If I were in the OP's shoes these would be my priorities

1. Avoid paying crazy-high overage fees
2. Make sure dd was spending plenty of quality time with her family
3. Make sure dd was not falling behind in sleep, school or extra curriculars

and a very very last #4 would be helping dd not over-text

that

[mtiger]

When my oldest was 12, I had an unlimited plan and they had a traqfone - pay as you go - that they shared. When he hit 13, I got an extra tracfone - one for each. Their texting was limited as I expected the phones to be used primarily for emergencies. When they were out, they were out. When he turned 15, I added both kids to my plan - three lines, unlimited texting. My oldest sends probably around 5k texts in a month. My youngest not much less. It's how they communicate with friends now. MUCH less annoying that their being on the phone all the time would be, IMO.