Falling asleep on their own...

[chirp]

Not really in a rush for this...mostly just wondering, buuuuttt.....

when exactly is it reasonable (generally) for me to expect my son to go to sleep on his own. At this point he's only 20 months. He nurses for 5 minutes and then we cuddle to sleep. I'm fine with this. He has his own bed next to our bed.

We're expecting another in Mid-March, at which point daddy will take over putting him to bed. But at some point, it will just be like, "Good night, Son." Flip the switch. And it's over. When does that happen, usually??

thanks

[jmo]

My daughter probably about 2.5 when she was okay falling asleep on her own.

[_betsy_]

Depends on so much. I wouldn't expect any kid to just decide to sleep all on their own while there's a new baby in the house. I'd expect that to screw up his sleep for a while.

DD1 is a horrible sleep-fighter and has been since Day 1. But even she, at 3 and for a few months now, has been able to go in to her bed, lie down and put herself to sleep without any assistance from me or DH. It's sort of like a little miracle every night!

It started around the same time she abandoned daytime naps.

[chirp]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

Depends on so much. I wouldn't expect any kid to just decide to sleep all on their own while there's a new baby in the house. I'd expect that to screw up his sleep for a while.

DD1 is a horrible sleep-fighter and has been since Day 1. But even she, at 3 and for a few months now, has been able to go in to her bed, lie down and put herself to sleep without any assistance from me or DH. It's sort of like a little miracle every night!

It started around the same time she abandoned daytime naps.

yeah, we're not expecting him to go to sleep on his own anytime soon.
in fact i'm kinda shocked that it might be less than a year from now that he COULD be.
i was just wondering (generally) when that sort of thing happened.

daddy is totally willing to begin taking over bedtime duty once new baby comes though. we're not gonna push him into falling asleep on his own. he just got his own big boy bed and that's adjustment enough with a new baby on the way!

[_betsy_]

Yeah, I'm SHOCKED how easily DD1 goes down most nights thee days. A far cry from what it was just a few months ago. I've read that kids' sleep tends to get better around 18 months and 3 years. With a good sleeper, you probably wouldn't notice much of a change, with a crappy sleeper, you notice!

Might I suggest Daddy starts taking over the nighttime routine BEFORE baby comes? Yo don't want your son to be resentful of the new baby - "the baby comes and I'm not important to Mommy anymore" type of thing.

Good luck!

[jeliphish]

Somewhere between 2 and 2.5 for us. Of course we have some nights everyonce and a while that she needs one of us to lay down with her but generally most nights are pretty easy.

[chirp]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

Yeah, I'm SHOCKED how easily DD1 goes down most nights thee days. A far cry from what it was just a few months ago. I've read that kids' sleep tends to get better around 18 months and 3 years. With a good sleeper, you probably wouldn't notice much of a change, with a crappy sleeper, you notice!

Might I suggest Daddy starts taking over the nighttime routine BEFORE baby comes? Yo don't want your son to be resentful of the new baby - "the baby comes and I'm not important to Mommy anymore" type of thing.

Good luck!

i agree completely with starting beforehand...but it took longer than i thought for him to sleep without full nursing. we're still kinda transitioning through that, although he is able to fall asleep without nursing at this point it takes him a good 40 minutes or so.

perhaps in the next couple of weeks i'll have dh do it 1-2 times per week. ds can be so DAMNED STUBBORN though. he may well just cry for hours, knowing that i'm in the house and not putting him down. hearing it would break my heart and frustrate DH. I guess we gotta go through it sometime though!!

[~Katie~]

DS was about 17-18 months when I could lay him down and he would go to sleep on his own. I never did CIO with him. From a very young age we got into a routine that would eventually transition into me being able to lay him down and have him go to sleep. In the beginning I would lay down with him and pat his back, as he got older he understood that it was time to sleep so he knew what to expect and did it on his own. He was never interested in nursing to sleep so that wasn't an issue. He still occasionally has nights where he gets out of bed but usually it's because he wants a particular stuffed animal to sleep with or a drink.

I don't think I'll have it as easy with my DD since I rock her to sleep at night so I can keep an eye on DS, but we'll see.

[eclipse]

My kids have all been different. My oldest was around three, but I really pushed the issue with him due to having an infant and a spouse who worked evenings. DD fell asleep by herself from day one. D2 is 4 years 3 months and still needs help going to sleep.

[JudiAU]

We used some techniques from No Cry Sleep and after a very very long time DS was able to finish sleeping. I didn't care if he fell asleep with me or by himself but when it stopped being a thirty minute nurse n' conk and became an hour or more wrestle every night we had to come up with something else. I think it was 18m or so when I could leave before he was done. (bath, stories, nurse, snuggle with momma on chair for ten minutes, go into crib and sing songs for ten minutes, leave). He self-weaned during my pregnancy. At 2.5, it still seems to take forever and sometimes there is some agressive and loud alphabet and singing but there aren't tears.

We have a babe and bedtime and naptime can be be brutal if DH isn't around.

[rzberrymom]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

I wouldn't expect any kid to just decide to sleep all on their own while there's a new baby in the house. I'd expect that to screw up his sleep for a while.

Yep! My almost 5 year old had been falling asleep by herself since about age 3 1/2, but I've got a newborn in the house now and she no longer wants to fall asleep by herself--MAJOR regression here.

[lonegirl]

I was going to ask a similar question....my son is 3...we co-sleep and is very dependent on me being there to fall asleep. He can also fall asleep with daddy if I am not there....but just go to bed and fall asleep...no way. Maybe if he is playing with his DS or Itouch on the couch he will jst fall asleep. But when it comes to nap and bed time he jst can't do it. I have been introducing a couple stuffies for him to cuddle and help to fall asleep...but I need advice as hubby is ready to lock him in his room and let him scream.

[spirit4ever]

My 2 older boys were about 3 years old ! Dd (18 months) will now fall asleep on her own as long as I am beside her, I 'm hoping by 2 I can kiss her goodnight and leave the room!

[Maluhia]

just before 4 for us, but that is not to say there are a lot of regressions over things large and small when it comes to that.

[almadianna]

Mine was around 2 and a half, she is 3 now and it is really quite easy most of the time. We had a baby when she was almost two and she did regress quite a bit so I am sure it took longer than it needed to.

[mommy2two babes]

Originally Posted by chirp

But at some point, it will just be like, "Good night, Son." Flip the switch. And it's over. When does that happen, usually??

I am not sure this ever happens
Then its Mom I need a drink, go to the bathroom, I need a snack ...............

Around 3 my older 2 started falling asleep without nursing.

[guestmama9972]

I'm glad to read this thread. I have a 22 mo who shows absolutely no sign of EVER going to sleep on her own, or at least it seems that way most nights. She still has to be nursed to sleep or worn in the mai tai for about an hour.

My older girls were doing it by about 3ish, maybe before.

[StrawberryFields]

I agree that all kids are different and there is really no one size fits all. My 24 month old daughter has been doing it for months now, while my 4 year old ds isn't anywhere close to being able to do it any time soon. Likewise, my 2 year old sleeps in her own bed all night in her own room without waking, but my ds is still in our bed and totally freaks if he wakes up to find himself alone in a room. Crazy kids!

[glitterdaisymom]

Originally Posted by chirp

perhaps in the next couple of weeks i'll have dh do it 1-2 times per week. ds can be so DAMNED STUBBORN though. he may well just cry for hours, knowing that i'm in the house and not putting him down. hearing it would break my heart and frustrate DH. I guess we gotta go through it sometime though!!

I agree to start letting DH do bedtime before the new babe get here. Maybe to help transition your DS into letting daddy do bedtime, you and daddy can both do bedtime together for a couple of weeks. Then slip out of the room and let your hubby do bedtime alone with DS.

[First Time Mama]

My son is 2 and doesn't seem to be anywhere near ready to do that. He is very dependant on me laying with him and nursing until he is alseep. Lately, it's been taking two hours. He cries if DH tries and he knows I'm in the house. Some nights I dream of that day, when I can read him a few bedtime stories, kiss him and leave the room. Ah, well.