At a loss and feeling awful.

[dexlor]

Had a great dinner after dh got 21 month old DD home from daycare. Fun hanging out and playing and singing. Then it was bathtime. DD screamed her head off because I was giving her a bath and not daddy. She screamed, hit me, ran to him when I took her out of the tub. He gives her her bath a majority of the time since I am home with her more often but she has never done this. I told him he could put her to bed too as I wanted nothing to do with her. I told him I'd have milk ready since I did not want to nurse her. I feel like a jerk. I feel like I should talk to her now that she is calm and taking a bath and after tell her something. But I don't know what. What will sink in after the fact? I am hurt. I don't know why she would react like this. But I feel like I could for the first time, not kiss her good night. I feel like I could be as toddlery tantrumy as her and do just that. What a brat I am. I don't see right now how I let her know I was hurt and that that behavior is what? Not acceptable? Is it? I don't know. Okay, so I have some pneumonia and my period and am reeling a lot from a bunch of things at once. Help. I don't want to be the mom who pulls silent treatments like my mom used to but I feel I'm leaning towards that.

A failure for the evening.

[LindsayK]

Aww.... I am so sorry you are feeling like this tonight. Toddlers can push our buttons, and really get us going. The nice thing is that they forget stuff really quickly and don't tend to hold grudges. So, chances are, if you can just take a deep breath, decide to be over this, and go give her some hugs and kisses, she's going to be a happy little critter and make you feel better.

I totally understand where you are coming from though.... I'm dealing with morning sickness and a toddler who has decided to start pushing limits. All. The. Time. I really feel like chucking her out the window, and I feel like I am tending towards some of the very behaviors I never wanted to exhibit toward my daughter. It happens to all of us!

Hugs, mama. Tomorrow will be better!

[Umpqua]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I've been having some hormonal problems for several months and know how frustrating things can get. My DS has done stuff like this and I know he doesn't mean it. They're just testing and trying out different things right now. Please don't feel like a failure, it's not you mama.

[JAZE MOMMIE]

tomorrow is another day!

At least you are seeing the pattern now -
it took me till child #4 till I saw my patterns from my mom/parenting !!

Common for that age to favor one over the other but it WILL CHANGE!!

[StrawberryFields]

I am sorry you are having such a rough time!! We all have those days. FWIW I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and the two year old ESPECIALLY has little "tantrums" like this all the time. I don't let it get to me, she doesn't mean to be hurtful. It's just a toddler thing, you know? She likes routine, she likes things to be the way she expected them to be. It doesn't mean she doesn't love me or want to be with me and the same goes for your little one. It seems like everything these days ends up with a "Noooo, DADDY DO IT." My response? HAVE AT IT, DADDY!! I'll be on the couch with my feet up and a magazine.

Tomorrow is another day. Give your little one some hugs and kisses for the night and make a fresh start.

Best of luck, I hope you are feeling better soon.

[pbjmama]

I understand why you feel bad but give yourself a break this time - you are sick and that makes things 100x harder and being a mom is pretty hard in the first place. My guess is your dc won't even remember it in the morning. Feel better soon mama!

[dexlor]

Thanks for all the warm words and support. It is 11:09 and I can't sleep because I didn't wise up soon enough to hug and kiss her goodnight. I've never done this before and just feel terrible. I must admit too that I am dreading the next three nights. It is unusual that DH has three nights of work related things to do so I will be alone with her and doing bath time. I hate even saying that I dread it but...I do. Normally, for bath dh takes her in but she would find me and take me by the hand to the bathroom. I had to sneak out after he got her started or she would fret. Tonight, it was as if I was beating her up and she wanted daddy to save her. I honestly have no idea what triggered this but her routine was upset tonight. We started dinner late and felt rushed to get her to her bath. And I know that toddlers do this sometimes. DH said he feels like that a lot when she asks for mommy so often.

Sigh. Tomorrow is another day. I need to just go to sleep and hug her and kiss her in the morn.

Thanks again.

[Tjej]

HUGS. You can always go to her and pet her little head and tell her you love her while she is sleeping. Then rest your weary head too.

And for the next few days - there is no rule that kids must have a daily bath. It'll be okay if you skip a day or two (or three ) when your DH is gone if it is that trying. Just wipe her with a warm, soapy washcloth if she is dirty at all, and pick a couple of fun things to do that are different when Daddy isn't home.

Tjej