Weaning Regret?

[cdmommie]

If you weaned early (before your LO was ready) did you regret it?

I was getting overwhelmed with my 2 year old nursing and I gradually reduced nursing her 2-3 times a day. Then day before yesterday I told her we were done. She had a hard time yesterday since her 9 month old sister still nurses constantly. But she hasn't asked since yesterday afternoon! I just really didn't believe it would work so fast so I kind of feel bad. She is 28 months old so I know she got lots of goodness....but still I feel bad for forcing her to stop.

[DeerMother]

I did mlw and we were totally done when dc were 22 months. I had regrets and guilt for a few days or a week. But it was pretty much a non-issue for them. But then things started happening that reaffirmed my decision -
-I was able to rock my dc to sleep for the first time
-I can sit down w/o lifting my shirt up
-They want to cuddle more, which I love
-I have an increased feeling of independence - not that I do leave dc much, but if I wanted to go out for the evening, I could

So. . . . . . since it has just been a day or so you could probably reinitiate if you wanted. If you want to stick to your decision you may find some positive things come out of it.

[cdmommie]

I don't want to go back on what I told her was happening because she needs to understand that I mean what I say. I want to send clear messages. It is just a tough transition for both of us.

[bronxmom]

Originally Posted by cdmommie

I don't want to go back on what I told her was happening because she needs to understand that I mean what I say. I want to send clear messages. It is just a tough transition for both of us.

I think it's okay to tell a child sometimes that you've reconsidered something and changed your mind and explain why. I actually think that's a healthy thing to model for children. I'm not saying you should go back to nursing; that's much more about how you feel and what's best for you. But if you really did regret it, you might think through your motivations and needs more and see if there's a compromise. For ex, if it was just too draining you could decide that you'll nurse at set times or a certain number of times/day. Then you could say to your child "I said we would stop because it was too hard for mommy. But I realized that we're really not ready yet and would like to keep going, but we have to change things so it's not so hard. From now on, we'll only nurse XXXX (whatever you decide)."

Good luck on whatever you decide.

[TiredX2]

ITA with bronxmom. Parents are stuck so often with wanting to be consistent versus wanting to do what is best, it can be really tricky. But I really firmly believe that "when you know better, you do better." If something is not working, don't stick with it because that was what you had decided.

I, personally, would encourage you to really consider what you hope to gain out of weaning DD and then think about if weaning is the only way to meet your goals as well. For example, some women wean because they really want to sleep through the night. But they could just night wean. And then their are the children that continue to wake all night but don't have nursing to put them back to sleep

At one point with DS I decided that I just *needed* some extended sleep so we partially nightweaned for a couple days. You know what? He did fine. (He was also a much older nursling--- almost 3 at that point). But after a couple days I also felt better and realized that I could go back to nursing. Those couple days of better sleep were enough to revive me and allow him to continue night nursing until he night weaned himself later. And you know what, I NEVER regretted going back to nursing him. Not. One. Time. Because having him decide to wean on his own was amazing and not something I would give up easily.

When I was tandeming, something I found to be really helpful to DD *and* me was to have one nursing a day that was hers. Other nursings I could put off, or say "I just can't nurse you and DS at the same time" or whatever, but that one nursing was hers. DP would take DS during that time and DD could nurse as long as she wanted (and, honestly, she understood if DS couldn't calm down that I needed to help the baby). But it really lessened her asking knowing that she was going to get one loooooong nurse just her and me later in the day. So, that worked for us. Something else might work for you.

Either way, feel proud of the gift you have given your DD.

[D_McG]

I weaned DS earlier than he would have liked (22 mos) with no regrets. I was done so WE were done.