How can I help a friend

[2boyzmama]

My husband's high school friend had PROM at 22 weeks, and was inpatient for 8 days before delivering. Her baby boy, Evan, was born at 23 weeks (5 days, I believe) on Christmas day. What a miracle!!!

Evan is doing really really well, I mean really well, he's on room air, they already transitioned him from a jet vent to a regular vent, and are talking about pulling the vent and putting him on CPAP today or tomorrow. His brain looks normal, his PDA is closing on its own (which is good, because the ibuprofen they gave him to try to get it to close caused his kidneys to shut down, and his pH got all messed up) He's taking feeds and digesting them well (she's already gotten to change a poopy diaper!!)

She's pumping around the clock, I don't know how much milk she's getting, but I know that she's pumping. She was just allowed to do kangaroo care last night (with a 24 week baby, can you imagine???? Maybe some of you can...)

ANYWAY...I don't know her, she's an old friend of my husband's. We don't live in the same state. I read her carepage and send her prayers and encouragement. I offered to send her some of my pumped milk if she needed it and was open to private donation (or if private donation is even safe for a preemie, I don't know, but I offered it up anyway).

What else can I do? I don't know her, I don't live nearby. But she still needs help/support, and I want to give it if I can.

She has no other kids at home. She has lots of nearby family. Her husband sounds like a true gem. She herself is an OB nurse, so she has her whole OB staff of coworkers helping out.

I was thinking of sending her a gift card for some take-out, or something like that?? She's in the Ronald McDonald House right now, but is going to be moving into a different long-term-stay house attached to the hospital soon.

[WaitingForKiddos]

You are so sweet to think of her.

I'd say that a nice card just telling her and her DH that they are being thought of/prayed for would be nice. I'd add gift cards for food...a restraunt or grocery store. Make a donation in the baby's name to March of Dimes (they do GREAT research for pPROM). Most of all.....keep in contact with them. They prolly' wont call back, they aren't going to remember much of what's happening right now. Just remember to send out another card in a month or so and keep doing that until that little guy is home.



If the baby happens to not make it...PLEASE keep sending her the cards through her due date.

IT's nice of you to be thoughtful.

[alternamama82]

When our daughter was in the NICU, life was chaotic to say the least. It is kind of you to want to help them out in some way. I think that gift certificates for food/coffee would be awesome. Are there any restaurants in the hospital cafeteria that you could buy gift certs for? I know for us we never strayed too far away from the NICU, and we spent almost all our time in the hospital - I imagine they will be doing the same, at least for a while until their son is more stable (though it sounds like he's doing very good!)

Eating out every day gets very, very expensive. I think this would be a really kind and much appreciated gesture!

[2boyzmama]

Thanks! We sent some gift cards for restaurants, and in her latest Carepages update she said she went out to dinner last night, so maybe she used one of them!

Evan is doing well still. He did have to have surgery on his PDA, that was yesterday, and at first after surgery he was doing REALLY well and they were talking about pulling the vent, but then he suddenly had some resp distress and they actually put him back on the jet vent. He also isn't peeing yet after surgery. The Neonatologists are saying that this is all to be expected after the stress of surgery, is just a minor set back, and shouldn't be a worry yet. The parents are staying optimistic.

She has a big support structure around here, so that's a good thing.

[sbrinton]

With babies that early, it's totally normal to have a lot of ups and downs. It will be a long, bumpy road. I guess my only advice would be don't forget them in a few weeks or months. Chances are, if baby survives, he'll be in the hospital at least 3-4 months, maybe longer. So keep praying and writing notes...