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~*Biblical Marriage with Wifely Submission #14 2010*~ - Page 6

post #101 of 139
I don't know if any of you have struggled with this, but I thought I might just share that with you.
I'm a cradle Catholic and for some reason I got a bit fed up with my church and decided to become a Lutheran. I was quite happy with that for the last few weeks, but I noticed that my (catholic) husband, who at first didn't mind which denomination I choose, was very unhappy with my decision.
Well, I thought this is all up to me and he has to respect my decision. Then, a few days ago, I started reading about submission and how to be the wife God inteded me to be. I realised it's not enough to read about it - I have to live it. I prayed a lot and decided it was probably God's will for me to be catholic again - so yesterday I took the dive and (submitting to my husband) became catholic again.
To be honest, I get feelings of "What does it matter which denomination you have?", on the other hand now I know that my husband is really happy about what I did and we have a feeling of closeness that was missing for a long time now.
I guess it was the Lord who helped me to submit (because I'm really stubborn).
post #102 of 139
That is an issue I am thankful we have never dealt with and, Lord willing, never will. DH and I met at church and are committed to our faith. We know a couple who attends two different congregations. We just couldn't think of doing that!

I'm glad you found peace.
post #103 of 139
Yes, that was really awfull, especially since we have two children - both catholic. And it was kind of sad not attending the same church with my husband and my parents in law (also our neighbours go to "our" church). No, I'm glad that I did some thinking .
post #104 of 139
Welcome back to the Church drindl!!! I am just learning about biblical marriage. Can anyone recommend any books on this?
post #105 of 139
Well, at the moment I'm reading a book I find very inspiring: "Created to be his help meet" by Debi Pearl. I really enjoy the book because it's not full with boring theory.
A magazine I'd also like to recommend is "Above Rubies" (free subscription, but happy if you donate a little something).
post #106 of 139
I just started reading that book and I am finding it really interesting. I'll look into that magazine too. I'm also curious about how this type of marriage works with women who WOH, which is my situation because of our financial situation but also becuase it feels more fair to my dh for me to have a job too.
post #107 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by dirndl View Post
Well, at the moment I'm reading a book I find very inspiring: "Created to be his help meet" by Debi Pearl. I really enjoy the book because it's not full with boring theory.
A magazine I'd also like to recommend is "Above Rubies" (free subscription, but happy if you donate a little something).
I also enjoy both of those. And the Pearl's magazine, No Greater Joy. I don't agree with EVERYTHING they say, but it has some inspirational stories and advice on marriage and family dynamics as well.
post #108 of 139

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Edited by ltlmrs - 7/2/11 at 8:13pm
post #109 of 139
~~~~A Moderator Reminder~~~~

As some long time members of this thread may know, discussion of books by authors like Debbi Pearl fall into a sort of "gray area". The MDC user agreement is clear that:

Quote:
We are not interested, however, in hosting discussions on the merits of crying it out, harsh sleep training, physical punishment, formula feeding, elective cesarean section, routine infant medical circumcision, or mandatory vaccinations.
We have found that conversations that mention authors like the Pearls very frequently drift into discussions of topics that fall outside the MDC User Agreement portion highlighted above. However, we also realize that Debbi Pearl is considered an important source of information for women in biblical marriages. If you would like to share detailed comments regarding the Pearls, please consider sending a PM and holding that conversation off the boards. While "on the board" please confine any mention of Debbi Pearl to the specific aspects of her writing that fall inside the MDC User Agreement (ie "the information on modest dress in Pearl's book was helpful" or "I found her suggestion about scheduling bible reading helpful").

I appreciate your help in keeping MDC a safe, informative, and, above all, gentle community. Please report any posts that you feel faal outside the MDC User Agreement, and please feel free to PM a moderator with any questions or concerns!

~~~now back to your regularly scheduled thread~~~
post #110 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by justKate View Post
Hi ladies

I know this isn't a super active thread, but thought you all could give me some perspective, maybe. Huz is active duty military, and we're coming up on the time when we'll be putting in our "dream sheet" of where we want to move next. It will be prettly short this time, and we're torn between coasts. He wants to go anywhere except the DC area, where my parents live. I want to go anywhere except the west coast (where his family lives). He also would like to go to Alaska.

We both have good, vaild reasons. I know my place is with him, but I'm struggling with the uncertainty of not knowing where we'll go and, well, questioning his judgment. I'm alos getting a lot of pressure from my mom to move closer to her. Please reassure me.
JustKate, do you have any updates?
post #111 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by ltlmrs View Post
JustKate, do you have any updates?
Wish I did. I'm working really hard at being at peace with wherever we end up. It will still be a few weeks before we submit our preferences, so new locations could open up. Huz does a lot of talking about it, which is a source of stress for me. I tell him so--I try to be open about it--but he really needs to talk through things while I need to work through them emotionally, to myself. I researched VBACs in the cities that are up for consideration at this point, and we talked about that, and he actually brought up the idea of a homebirth if we end up in a VBAC-unfriendly place, which made me and then !

As far as my mom goes, I'm trying not to talk about it with her, because she isn't able to see that the things she says hurt me (and my relationship with my husband). Trying to remember that these are her issues, not mine, and that I need to let Him guide me....

ETA: The more I learn about Alaska, the more I think it would be really fun, but it is hard to even enjoy that thought knowing that my mother would be hurt by it.

Jacksonville would be great! Florida is the "home" we've chosen...wish we could get back there.
post #112 of 139
I haven't read on here in a while, and although I'm not Catholic I still deeply believe in this approach to marriage. I have read the above mentioned book (should I not name it?), but the advice given helped me immensely.

My marriage was better for a while, but to be honest, we had a rough time this summer and to make a long story short, after all has been done, I just don't feel like my heart is very open in this relationship anymore.

I know that dh has been making strides to improve some issues that were deeply hurtful to our relationship, but at the same time I still feel resentment and hurt. I know right now I'm just waiting for my heart to change, but at the same time, I don't feel the deep desire to submit to him like I did in the past.

I was really having a hard time the other day when a Jehovah's witness knocked on my door and read me this passage:

http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Philippians+4%3A6-7

Sorry, I don't know if that's Catholic as well, but I nearly cried its so beautiful.

Anyways, I'm sorry to come off as heavy here, but I don't know who else to ask for good advice right now. (most people in my life are single or have not-so-great relationship advice).
Any advice is much appreciated..
post #113 of 139
PPK - I think there are several of us on this thread that aren't Catholic, myself included.

Also, my best advice is to recommend this incredible three part marriage class my church taught. I can't say enough how much I highly recommend listening to it. It really changed the way I'm able to view my husband and our marriage. It sounds like it would be really helpful for where you are right now.
post #114 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evie's Mama View Post
PPK - I think there are several of us on this thread that aren't Catholic, myself included.

Also, my best advice is to recommend this incredible three part marriage class my church taught. I can't say enough how much I highly recommend listening to it. It really changed the way I'm able to view my husband and our marriage. It sounds like it would be really helpful for where you are right now.
PPK, No adivce, but just wanted to let you know that I don't think it's a necessarily Catholic-only concept. I was raised Catholic and never heard of such a thing; now as a non-practicing Catholic I find a lot of the study on biblical marriage comforting for my life.

Evie's Mama, thanks for the link. I'm going to listen to it at work.
post #115 of 139
thanks for the help, things seem to be moving these last few days, I'm going with it all and hoping for the best!
post #116 of 139
Sounds fair. For the record, I do tend to lean towards wifely submission. I even wear a head covering because the Bible says that to pray without one would dishonor my husband. However, I admit that do have concerns about the Pearls.
post #117 of 139
BFandHS, Many of us here on MDC have very grave concerns about the Pearls. I have not personally read the book in question, but I have read some other materials, and what I have read has made me sick. However, the Spirituality forum is a place for support, not debate. If another woman here has found support by reading something by Debbie Pearl, we really can't argue except to suggest that anyone considering reading the book read with care. I'm sure anyone interested in their controversy could do a quick google search and find more than they ever wanted to know. If you would like to take issue with any of the ideas in the book, I recommend you start a thread in the Religious Studies forum.
post #118 of 139
Thank you, JMJ. I did not mean to start a debate. You are right, of course, Google is very helpful.
post #119 of 139
To get back on topic, about a week ago dh expressed once again his desire for me to clean more and use the computer less. I purposed in my heart to really work on that and I'm happy to report that I'm doing way better. I make a list every day and cross things off. The house is not perfect, but it's way, way better than it was and it has only been a week. That said, I really should be getting off the computer.
post #120 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by BFandHS View Post
To get back on topic, about a week ago dh expressed once again his desire for me to clean more and use the computer less. I purposed in my heart to really work on that and I'm happy to report that I'm doing way better. I make a list every day and cross things off. The house is not perfect, but it's way, way better than it was and it has only been a week. That said, I really should be getting off the computer.
My DH and I had that conversation a while back too. It wasn't so much just about cleaning, he just felt that I spent too much time on the computer. I've reigned it in a bit. It helped when I explained to him that this is my way of getting community (which I so desperately need) when I'm stuck in the house most of the week due to nap schedules and other moms being busy with their kids as well. That being said though, I did respect his wishes for me to not be on the computer when he's home and the girls aren't in bed.
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