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My turn to ask...when does "spirited" become special needs?

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
I've written about Ian in the past, I consider him my typical, yet "spirited" kid, and Connor my special needs kid. But I'm starting to doubt that the older he gets... I'm going to try to sum this up in a bullet list for those short on time but I'll go into more detail below the list... He will be 5 in March.

--He's often on the brink of "losing it", we have to be very careful not to push him over the edge.

--He has signs of being sensory seeking: LOVES water, is sometimes very particular about his clothing, when he's beginning to "lose it" he will start running into things, banging things, kicking things, throwing himself around (and this isn't anger, yet, this is just him seeking sensory input I really believe, the anger/violence comes later)

--He is EXTREMELY extroverted, and if he doesn't get the social input he needs each day, he has SEVERE meltdowns by evening. Definitely not the kind of kid who can just have a lazy-stay-in-your-pajamas day.

--He is very gross-motor oriented, always has been, but not fond of fine motor. He's not delayed in fine motor, but doesn't *like* it. I.e. is capable of following multi-step directions, but if they involve fine motor skills, he will suddenly be clueless. At school it's a bit of a problem, if he's supposed to color the shapes, cut them out, sort them, and glue them on the next page, he gets antzy, he becomes "forgetful", he gets overly silly, etc. Anything to avoid doing it. He can do it, but doesn't want to.

--He is extremely bright, knew all his letters by sight before he was 2 (Ian, what letter is this? Or Ian, show me the R) and knew the sounds of the letters well before 3. He starts Kindergarten in the fall, but is already reading simple words, sounding out the harder words, noticing patterns in words (Look mommy, those two words have the same ending [ing, for example]) And none of this is us working with him, truly! He's just a sponge. I remember explaining to him about how electricity goes through the lines to the outlets in our house when he was 2. Was VERY verbal very early, speaking in paragraphs understandable by strangers before age 2. But hates to color, doesn't like puzzles or any other activity that requires focus on fine motor skills.

--He had lots of reflux as an infant, but we never treated it because it didnt' seem to effect him. He gained weight, was happy, ate well, slept well (with accomodations like elevated bed) etc. I didn't know about dairy then, and suspect now that he was sensitive to dairy.

--He's only just recently beginning to have formed stool, he's always had loose stools. I've mentioned this to every dr he's ever seen, no one seems to be concerned with it. He potty trained early, though, just after his second birthday. **He does have a deep sacral dimple, it was xrayed and ultrasounded around one year old, nothing was found.

--He has chronically swollen glands in his neck, so big that you can see them when he turns his head. No signs of environmental allergies. He doesn't seem to be sick too often, did have some repeated ear infections between 6-12 months old, but those stopped completely when we moved to the United States, I think those were environmentally triggered.

**Those last three (and the next) lead me to suspect a food intolerance**

--He is very reactive to foods, if we get lazy and eat too much junk food, too much processed food, etc, then it reflects in his behavior almost immediately. I haven't been able to identify any particular ingredient, though, I don't know if it's sugar, dyes, preservatives, etc.

--I've never considered this to be associated with anything, but you never know. He was extremely bow-legged when he was born, and it lasted past his first birthday. We lived near the equator when he was born, so he got PLENTY of natural Vit D exposure. My husband was SAHD and would go for long walks with him. We didn't use sunscreen all the time, either. I have no idea why his legs were bowed... Because it didn't effect his motor skills, and because he was an otherwise healthy baby, the drs weren't worried about it at all.

--He's always required advance notice of a transition, particularly if it means the end of a gross motor period. I have to give him a minute-by-minute countdown if I have any hope of leaving the park without a huge tantrum.

So now more background...we knew at like 9 months old that Ian was going to be a challenge. He was the baby who required us to rearrange furniture because no matter what barriers we created for him, he crawled/climbed/scooted around them and got into things over and over. Very intense, very focussed. As an infant he was a breeze, I always knew what he wanted/needed and could easily provide it. But as soon as he got mobile, things got interesting!!!

Tantrums started not long after his first birthday. The "screaming, throw yourself on the ground" tantrums. By age 2 they got really severe, to the point of him self-injuring even.


**OH, this is probably important...he never seemed to feel pain normally as a toddler. I used to have to follow the trail of blood and then look him over head to toe to find an injury, he never told me about them. He also was FEARLESS, once went down a really high slide (I couldn't reach the top of it) on his BELLY and went flying off the end of it. He was probably 18 months old then.

So during a tantrum he would bang his head on the floor repeatedly until bleeding even, and because he didn't feel pain, it was no big deal to him. It meant that I coudln't ignore attention-seeking tantrums though!! His fits were so severe that I couldn't restrain him, I couldn't put him in his highchair because he'd literally tip it over. I tried putting him his room so we could both calm down, but he'd destroy it in a matter of minutes...dumping drawers, pulling clothes off hangers, ripping sheets off the bed, breaking toys, repeatedly kicking the walls, etc. For a while he was completely out of control.

During that same time, Connor was his sickest, we had just bought a house and moved, I was separating from the military and starting a new job...it was about as much stress and transition as you can have. I actually "unweaned" Ian to try to help him through that period.

My mom sent me the book Raising You Spirited Child, and I found it really helpful, and slowly the worst of his behaviors eased.

I thought we had turned the corner over the past year, but the holidays showed me that he's still very precarious. I know it's stressful for any kid, but now that he's back to his normal routine, I'm dealing with a resurgence of bad tantrums. Last night was pretty bad, and now it's not just crying, he yells at me "NO FAIR!!" and even "I HATE YOU!!" I'm shocked by that last one, he's never heard us use that word (towards a person anyway, I might say I hate pickles).

I watch him and can physically see him downspiraling and incapable of stopping himself. I try, God I try!, to not downspiral also, but it's really hard!!! He can take the whole family down with him sometiems. Last night he had pushed my last button, all my patience was gone, and I caught myself screaming right back at him. I realized what I was doing, so I walked out of his room. Then I looked at my husband and said "I can't expect him to not yell and scream when I allow myself to lose control like that!" After I cooled off, I went back in there and was able to calm him down talk to him, and then all was fine.

Two years ago a fit like that would have lasted hours, and would have basically ruined his day. So definite progress is being made. The fits are much less frequent, too.

SO...definite progress, but at this age, is this still in the realm of normal? Do "normal" almost 5 year olds still throw these kinds of tantrums? I have an exceptional amount of patience most times, and I'm very in-tune with him, which is how we got through that horrible 2-3 year old stage. I have no doubt that he could easily be labeled ADHD otherwise. I've filled out the development assessments sent home from his school, and I commented to my husband when filling out his 3 year old assessment that if they had asked me those same questions a year before--or even 6 months before--then I'd be answering very differently and he'd be flagged for evaluation. (his school, by the way, is the integrated preschool at the public school, he's one of the 8 typicals in the class). But if I hadn't learned the coping techniques from the Spirited Child book, then I would probably still be answering the questions the same, you know? So is he really "getting better", or are all the tendencies still there and we're just managing them fairly well? Does that make sense??

It's exhausting feeling like we're on egg shells with him. He is such a great kid, so loving, so much fun, and most people have no idea about these behaviors he exhibits at home. But I am constantly watching him like a hawk, watching for signs of decompensation (for lack of a better word). Always thinking three steps ahead...what's the next transition, how am I going to prep him for it, what contingencies do I have available if he tantrums?

So what are your thoughts? I don't really know what else to do, except continue to be in tune with him, watch for triggers, watch his diet, get him the social and gross motor he needs every day, etc. It's just getting hard to give him that much focus and attention when I have two other kids, you know?
post #2 of 21


He sounds, to me, like a bright, intense kid. He sounds like he does a good job of holding it together when he's away from you, but then has used up his reserves by the time he hits home. It speaks well of your attachment and his security with you, even though it's a pain. He's probably also pretty sensitive to the stress in your lives, which when combined with general development can lead to some definite behavioral flare ups.

Is it normal? I think it's within the range of normal. Our dd is like this and she's 5 1/2. She's very sensitive, very bright, very verbal, and very dramatic. We still have regular meltdowns, sometimes quite intense ones. We had one on last Saturday evening that lasted two hours (10 pm to 12 am). Complete with kicking dh, throwing things in her room and screaming at us things like "I'm losing my patience, do you hear me?!!!!" (It was really, really hard not to laugh at that one.) This meltdown was the direct result of being allowed to stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve. She was exhausted, overstimulated and completely incapable of any self-regulation. (Heck, I was like this. I have vivid memories of throwing toys across my bedroom when I was 4-5. And of throwing my keys across the room at oh, 43.)

Things are getting better with age and as she gains more skills. She learned to read this fall, and I saw a major decrease in tantrums just after that. My mom, a woman of wisdom, keeps reminding me that times before developmental leaps are often difficult for both mother and child.

Several book suggestions:
The Explosive Child - a good book for kids who have trouble transitioning and tend to blow up.
Living with your active alert child I found Raising Your Spirited Child more helpful, but other people like this one better
The Challenging Child He's a little young for some of the ideas in here, but a lot of the ideas are really good

Having said all that, it might worth having him assessed for sensory issues, just to see where he falls. The sensory seeking behavior, the fearlessness, the lack of feeling pain and the avoidance of fine motor skills are all things that say "Sensory Issues" to me. If an OT eval is not possible, then I'd get a copy of Sensational Kids and the Out of Sync Child has Fun and set up a good sensory routine with him. (I swear the best thing we've done recently for our kids is to get them loft beds. Dd has a low loft with a slide and ds has one about 5 ft tall. The amount of jumping and climbing they do is amazing. Clearly they meet some definite sensory needs for my kids.)

I know you've got a lot going on with him, but could you keep a food-behavior diary for him for a couple of weeks? I wonder how much of this with him is due to food intolerances/sensitivities. Have you seen an allergist? I would think that the swollen glands would warrant an investigation. The swollen glands, the changes in behavior, the reflux and the loose stools suggest something dietary, as you noted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
I thought we had turned the corner over the past year, but the holidays showed me that he's still very precarious.I know it's stressful for any kid, but now that he's back to his normal routine, I'm dealing with a resurgence of bad tantrums.
Remember that he's barely 5 (almost 5? sorry I forget). Most 5 year olds have a hard time holding it together during the holidays. It's also normal for the tantrums to resurge once the routine is back - he's still out of sync a bit, and is feeling the leftover disequilibrium from the holidays.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
Last night was pretty bad, and now it's not just crying, he yells at me "NO FAIR!!" and even "I HATE YOU!!" I'm shocked by that last one, he's never heard us use that word (towards a person anyway, I might say I hate pickles).
Very, very age appropriate. The wonderful (and terrible) thing about the creative use of language is that kids can create sentences that they've never heard before. 4-5 year olds are playing with the power of language, and "I HATE YOU" is really, really powerful. (As is "You can't come to my birthday party!" to other kids.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
I watch him and can physically see him downspiraling and incapable of stopping himself. I try, God I try!, to not downspiral also, but it's really hard!!!
It's hard, really hard not to get sucked into their emotional vortex. I'm not sure it's even possible not to. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your son needs to see that you too lose it, and that you can recover from it. I'm not sure it's good for parents to never lose it. I can't imagine what life would be like with parents who never lose it. You can teach your kids good skills in how to recover as well, you know!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
Two years ago a fit like that would have lasted hours, and would have basically ruined his day. So definite progress is being made. The fits are much less frequent, too.
Hold on to this! He's getting better. Development isn't speedy for any child and it's hard work for everyone.
post #3 of 21
Thread Starter 
Thank you very much, Lynn!!! It helps me to have perspective!!

We had a great day, everything was going so well. Then he had a meltdown at the YMCA when it was time to leave. I managed to get all of us (the three boys and myself) into one of the handicapped bathrooms. There I could strap the baby onto the changing table, Connor was confined, and I could get face to face with Ian and get him calmed down. Surprisingly it only lasted about 5-10 minutes, then he was fine and I was able to get them all into jackets, into the car, and home. At home he easily and willingly put on his pajamas and is now having his bedtime snack. I hoping he goes to bed smoothly, I think he will.

I think you're right that he keeps it together while away from me and then just runs out of reserves. He has NEVER shown this kind of behavior at school. Twice I dropped him off in mid-tantrum (he missed the bus because of his tantrum). I literally dragged him into the office, and one of his class aides came to get him. I talked to his teacher about it later. She handled it perfectly, took him out to the hall and they "walked the line" (a line painted on the floors) over and over until he was ready to talk about why he was so upset, and once he calmed down he went into his room and that was it. She knew that he needed gross motor activity in order to work through whatever emotional turmoil was going on. And both times it was something trivial...which shoes to wear or which shirt to wear kind of thing. We allow him to make his own choices when it's appropriate (i.e. he has to wear closed-toe shoes in cold or wet weather, for example, but I don't care if he chooses cowboy boots over tennis shoes).

I might talk to his teacher about an eval. She might think I'm nuts at first, because she doesn't see his behaviors at all. But she also knows me well (this is Ian's second year in her room, she teaches 3 and 4 year old preschool) so if I ask for something, she'll probably agree to it.

He hasn't seen an allergist, and I wonder if it would even be helpful. I doubt that anything is Ig mediated, I'm assuming if anything it's just an intolerance or sensitivity, which won't show up on any of their testing, right? Connor is very obviously reactive to dairy, but his reactions are all gastro, so testing doesn't show it. It might be worth a try anyway. Ian has his 5 year well-kid coming up, I'll ask about it then. Maybe I'll bring this list in with me.
post #4 of 21
He sounds very much like my 13 yo at that age except for the tantruming until he hurts himself, he would definitely throw himself on the floor at the store and scream for no obvious (to us) reason at 2. He was very (and still is) a sensory seeking kid and has the scars on his face to prove it. He is very bright but does not like to do anything that he percieves as hard, which most definitely fine motor tasks are. I know you have your hands full but what has helped us the most is sports. He likes competetive, but non competetive activities like indoor rock climbing would help too. We also severly limit the amount of artificial dyes, preservatives, suger and caffeine he ingests. Your guy limits himself much better than my guy did. I thought his elementary prinicipal had me on speed dial.
post #5 of 21
Ian sounds a lot like my youngest. We started him in OT in the fall (he's 4 1/2) and they are working on the sensory seeking and on the fine motor stuff. Our psychologist says we could probably get an ADHD diagnosis for him, but for now, the OT work seems to be what he needs. I would definitely check into OT. I don't think it can hurt and it might help a lot.
post #6 of 21
My 1st answer would have been that the only way I see to really be sure anymore is to have a child evaluated. We spent years thinking she was just spirited and in the end I think that I wasted time, even though I was getting her help for developmental delays I wasnt getting her help for the underlying problems. But that is also easier said than done as some days I wonder if there is more to my speech delayed 3 yr old and worry he has issues like his sister and others it just seems OK so I dont have him evaluated. I think what I need to do, and probably would be good advice for most people is to set a date, an age, something. To say if I am not assured this is normal spirited behavior by the age of ... than I will get them evaluated. B/c I am now doing the same thing with my son that I did with my daughter. B/c she would have good times and I would think things were going to be OK and then she'd have her bad days and I knew they werent but then a good day came again and I pushed it aside, just wasting time.

My 2nd thought though lands in the very end of your post, if the strategies for a spirited child are working that I would call him a spirited child. They do not fully work and never have on my daughter. That said the key is "fully" do they work some on your son, enough for you to just get by or do they fully work for you?
post #7 of 21
I don't think there is any magical age when spirited becomes special needs but I do know what you mean. I have two on the spectrum. One was very obvious early on. My other son didn't get diagnosed until 5. I just thought he was sensitive and cranky. I am NOT saying this is your son. I am just saying, I feel what you are saying because when they start hitting that 5 year old range it seems like you start wondering. For me it seemed ok at 3 but as he hit 5 I questioned why he wasn't responding to discipline etc like other kids his age. He is very mildly on the spectrum but it is there.

Outside of even special needs, have you thought about taking dairy out for a bit and seeing if it helps? This same son that I am talking about, used to get chronic sinus infections, loose stools and the exact same swollen glands you are talking about. Once we took the dairy out the swollen glands and sinus problems cleared up a lot! Don't get me wrong, he still has some issues with both but it went from 104 fevers every couple months to now frequent colds. Then we took gluten out, not for "autism" this was actually before his dx. But we took it out of his twin's diet because he was having tummy issues so I thought it would be easier to feed them the same. And within a month he had formed stools. Just an idea although an overwhelming one I know.

I wonder too, are you sure his fine motor skills are where they should be. Just asking because my son also could do the cutting, coloring etc but never really did that willingly. I thought his fine motor skills were fine. Once I had a really good OT take a look at him, she showed me how he was actually using four fingers to hold the pencil and some other slight things that showed he actually had weakness in his hands (even though he could grab me full force). Well, this of course is uncomfortable for him so he tends to stay away from those things if he can.

Just some ideas!
post #8 of 21
No expert, but I am the mother of a REALLY intense 6 year old. Except for the sensory seeking stuff, he does everything that you describe here. It goes in phases and we are in an easier phase right now (knock on wood!). The "bad" phases are exhausting. If you've only lost it with him and yelled that one time, give yourself an enormous pat on the back because that is truly incredible. I have yelled numerous times but luckily I am good at apologizing.

The walking on eggshells business is exhausting. We have a two year old and we always say, two kids is SO much easier than DS was as a baby. He is still much more likely to cry and need parental attention than DD though as she comes into her two-ness, she may catch up to him.
post #9 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by logan&jordansmommy View Post
Outside of even special needs, have you thought about taking dairy out for a bit and seeing if it helps?

*****

I wonder too, are you sure his fine motor skills are where they should be.
We have never cut dairy FULLY with him, but we did have to cut it very strictly for my middle son, so our whole house was on decreased dairy. I have tossed around the idea of going fully off dairy, and have also been considering gluten free. But you're right, it does seem overwhelming to do that! I actually was just researching Feingold...not sure if I want to do single ingredient removal (remove dairy or gluten) or if I want to something like Feingold.

And his fine motor skills...I guess I'll have to ask his teacher, but so far she has conveyed to me that she has no concern with his fine motor skills, he just obviously doesn't like them. I did ask her to allow him to incorporate some gross motor into his fine motor, for example if he wants to stand to color, and if it's not a disruption to the class, then let him.

[QUOTE=Girlprof;14891393]The "bad" phases are exhausting. If you've only lost it with him and yelled that one time, give yourself an enormous pat on the back because that is truly incredible. I have yelled numerous times but luckily I am good at apologizing.

The walking on eggshells business is exhausting. QUOTE]
Oh no, there's been many more times where I lost my temper But I am very careful to apologize to him later, and explain that even mommy sometimes gets angry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2emnbec View Post
My 2nd thought though lands in the very end of your post, if the strategies for a spirited child are working that I would call him a spirited child. They do not fully work and never have on my daughter. That said the key is "fully" do they work some on your son, enough for you to just get by or do they fully work for you?
This is where it gets hard to differentiate...the strategies to deal with him work fairly well, but are exhausting, and really hard to implement on anything other than a "normal" routine (i.e. holidays, vacation, any type of change). And I do still wonder if our strategies are only hiding his symptoms, not really dealing with them, you know? But I suppose that if his symptoms are "hidden" until he's more capable of dealing with them himself, then it works.

Sigh...I don't know.
post #10 of 21
He sound very much like Alex at that age - we have been making steady progress with him in the last 3 years (he is 6 now) but this fall the school wanted an OT/PT assesment on him and a trip to a Pead to see about SPD and ADHD - they pretty much had this figured out already but wanted to see if we could get a firm diagnosis to get him into the OT at school and get more EA time for him. The pead thinks that he may well out grow most of the issues (and the progress in the last 2 years is fantastic even without the OT or Sensory modifications) so we think that by grade 4 or so he may not have any of the bigger issues we are seeing now.
If you have concerns - then have him evauated by and OT, it can't hurt at all and as you know the soner you get some early intervention the better they respond. Good luck and hugs to you BTDT. The scary part is the Megan is like a clone of her brother in regards to the ADHD and sensory issues.
post #11 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by logan&jordansmommy View Post
I
I wonder too, are you sure his fine motor skills are where they should be. Just asking because my son also could do the cutting, coloring etc but never really did that willingly. I thought his fine motor skills were fine. Once I had a really good OT take a look at him, she showed me how he was actually using four fingers to hold the pencil and some other slight things that showed he actually had weakness in his hands (even though he could grab me full force). Well, this of course is uncomfortable for him so he tends to stay away from those things if he can.
I wonder the same thing. I knew that ds didn't like fine motor activities, but I didn't really see how far behind he was until we had him assessed. Not only were his basic fine motor skills very weak, but his visual motor integration was off. No wonder the kid didn't like coloring and working with scissors! (OK, his fine motor skills are still iffy, but he can write legibly. Now if I can just teach him to tie shoes.....)


Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
This is where it gets hard to differentiate...the strategies to deal with him work fairly well, but are exhausting, and really hard to implement on anything other than a "normal" routine (i.e. holidays, vacation, any type of change). And I do still wonder if our strategies are only hiding his symptoms, not really dealing with them, you know? But I suppose that if his symptoms are "hidden" until he's more capable of dealing with them himself, then it works.

Sigh...I don't know.

It's a difficult boundary -- I think the things to pay attention to are whether the issues are getting better with development or not. With ds, certain things were getting better as he developed but other things were either not getting better or they were getting worse (increasing refusal to change clothes, increasing fear of loud noises). With dd, things are improving when I think of them over the long haul. But in the middle of a meltdown, it's hard to think about what things were like 3 months ago.
post #12 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
But in the middle of a meltdown, it's hard to think about what things were like 3 months ago.
YES!! Today was a great day, as few "reminders", a few "Ian, LOOK at me, LISTEN to me" but really that was it. He responded really well to all the strategies in the Spirited Child book, even when I set the timer for bedtime, he pretty much went to bed with little/no fuss! (he tried to negotiate first, then he tried to smooch up to me by saying he wanted to snuggle by the fire...I didn't buy it, and he went to bed)

I know that he's making steady positive progress, I just wonder when the progress isn't enough and we cross the line to needing therapies. I'm not even sure what therapies he might benefit from, I've been reading more into OT and sensory and fine motor stuff.

I have to be home tomorrow afternoon (hubby has a dental appt) so I'm going to talk to his teacher and see what she thinks.
post #13 of 21
Cannot remember, but have you had a sleep study done on him.

We had excessive meltdowns with DS1, and and the more tired he got, the worse it got. He would also get hyper and defiant.
post #14 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by khaoskat View Post
Cannot remember, but have you had a sleep study done on him.

We had excessive meltdowns with DS1, and and the more tired he got, the worse it got. He would also get hyper and defiant.
no, we haven't had any tests on him basically. i do see him struggle when he's tired.
post #15 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
no, we haven't had any tests on him basically. i do see him struggle when he's tired.
Here were some things we noticed with DS1:

1) When he started giving up naps, we would end up with an almost cyclical behavior. We would have good behavior as expected for a four year for about 2-3 weeks. Then we would have a downward spiral for about 2 weeks. Lastly we had a few days, almost week where he would come back from pre-school and crash for 3-4 hours, get up, eat and go right back to bed for the night. Then we would restart the cycle.

2) He has enlarged adnoids and tonsils

3) He snored (always has) like a freight train.

4) His behavior would be almost ADHD like, would be extremely hyper, and would also be a bit on the oppositional defiance side.

5) When I had DD2, which ended in emergency c/s, he stayed with a friend of ours one night, and our friend could tell he would stop breathing several times through the night, as it would wake him (as in our friend) up.

6) When we put him down to bed, it would be one of two things - He would either be so tired that once we got him calmed down he would be asleep in about 5 minutes; or two he would be so hyper we would spend upwards of an hour or sometimes more before bedtime trying to unwind him.

7) His tantrums for being told no on things would be so horrible. I mean we are talking melt downs with almost kicking, hitting, head banging, etc, behaviors. And those got worse the closer we got to his almost week of crashing.

Another thing we notice is his eyes always look like he has been in a fight. He has black/red circles almost always under his eyes.

Right now, since we have not had the surgery (long story on why not), we still have an almost 7 year old sleeping for upwards of 12 hours a night.
post #16 of 21
Your Ian sounds almost exactly like my 3 yo DS, who has a tentative diagnosis of SPD - Sensory seeking. Reading your list was like deja'vu for me...
post #17 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post

It's hard, really hard not to get sucked into their emotional vortex. I'm not sure it's even possible not to. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your son needs to see that you too lose it, and that you can recover from it. I'm not sure it's good for parents to never lose it. I can't imagine what life would be like with parents who never lose it. You can teach your kids good skills in how to recover as well, you know!
Thanks for posting this. Probably my biggest issue is letting anger get the better of me when DS looses it.
post #18 of 21
To be honest I would start with an OT/sensory profile being done on him and go from there. Is he in preschool, if so can you have an OT eval done through them (EI) or have on done at home. The OT eval really isn't that bad - and the sensory is a booklet that you fill out and talk to the OT about - then the work on/suggest modifications.
Even if he is making progress - know exactly what you are dealing with and what can help may make the progress faster.
post #19 of 21
Dd is insensitive to pain as well - the naturopath we are seeing said it can be a symptom of food intolerance. There is a test that can be done, I can't think of it's name, I think they scratch the arm with different allergens? We're trying the gluten free casein free diet - those are the most common triggers.
post #20 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbringer View Post
Dd is insensitive to pain as well - the naturopath we are seeing said it can be a symptom of food intolerance. There is a test that can be done, I can't think of it's name, I think they scratch the arm with different allergens? We're trying the gluten free casein free diet - those are the most common triggers.
I think you are talking about a RAST test maybe.
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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Special Needs Parenting › My turn to ask...when does "spirited" become special needs?