MIL secondary cardholder racked up huge bill!

[Mommy2Teagan]

My MIL strikes again. In 2000 my MIL opened up a credit card for my husband when he went off to college. She made him primary cardholder and she made herself secondary cardholder. This card was meant to be for my husband to use just in case of an emergency. Well, my husband never ever used it and basically forgot about it being opened. Yesterday he gets a call saying that his account is delinquent. Well, he of course was shocked because he didn't even know that this card was still in existence. It turns out that his mom has been using this card for several several SEVERAL cash advances and she racked up a 5,000 bill. She hasn't made a payment since August and she has been dodging phone calls from the credit card company this whole time. The one time that the credit company did catch her on the phone she lied to them and told them that my husband was a soldier fighting in Iraq! I guess she told them this to get sympathy and maybe an extension??? I don't know! Anyway, When my husband confronted her about it she was not apologetic at all and kept saying how she didn't want to talk about it. She didn't even try to make up a good excuse. She just said that the finance charges got to be too high and so she stopped paying on it. She knows that she is messing up my husbands credit (our future) but she doesn't seem to care. She kept mumbling "I'll pay it" (with an attitude, by the way). But we know that she isn't really going to pay it. She obviously has no money to pay it! So what are our options? We are lost on what to do next and we will not be stuck with this bill in the end. This saddens me. My husband is such a sweet man and he is so hurt that his own mother has done this to him. She's done selfish things before but not on this scale. She's really ruined her and her son's relationship. And that's what hurts most of all. That relationship will take a while to heal but in the meanwhile what can we do about this bill! I want to cry...

[philomom]

Judge Judy? small claims court?

I'd start by writing the credit card company yourself.

[Leta]

Many hugs, mama.

If your MIL initially opened the card in your DH's name, and he was unaware- which is to say, he didn't sign anything- technically, that is fraud. You would have to contact all the credit bureaus and the creditor, and tell them that it's fraud. Then you'd need to see a lawyer about pressing civil and possibly criminal charges against your MIL so that it doesn't affect your DH's credit or force him into bankruptcy.

However, if your DH knowingly opened this card, you are screwed. This same thing happened to my neighbor (tho' the other way around- the son was the secondary on his mom's card, racked up a huge bill buying TVs and going on vacation, and his mom is stuck paying it off) and the CC company doesn't care if it's the primary or the secondary who made the charges, the primary is responsible. The end. He'll have to settle the debt or file for bankruptcy to avoid paying it.

I so hope that your MIL fraudulently opened this card. I'll be her attitude is gone by your court date.

[Catubodua]

you're probably going to have to report her for credit card theft / fraud in order to get it taken care of where you don't owe anything and where it doesn't affect your credit.

make sure DH thinks about this before you do anything - did he sign anything when it was opened? if he did, you guys are most likely screwed.

but, if not, and if you are willing to report her, do it TODAY. start calling the credit card company and all the credit reporting agencies and put a flag on the card and tell the credit card company that the card was opened in his name fraudulantly and he won't be paying for the charges. follow this up in writing immediately.


either way, get the card canceled.

[Caneel]

I worked at a bank that issued credit cards (but in a different department) and I agree with what Leta posted.

Further, going the fraud route is often far more emotionally difficult than just sucking it up and paying off the debt. Not saying you shouldn't, just saying I would hear about plenty of cases where the damaged party felt they couldn't go down that path due to family relationship.

[mtm]

If he's primary, he needs to close the card today and to flag his name with teh credit bureaus so she doesn't open up any more accounts. That just sucks.

[Denvergirlie]

Originally Posted by Mommy2Teagan

We are lost on what to do next and we will not be stuck with this bill in the end.

As others have already mentioned, yes you very well might be stuck with the bill. Your options will depend on if your partner opened this account. Did he sign anything saying he was responsible for the charges when the account was opened orginally? Or did your MIL do it without his constent?

If yes, then yes, you are responsible for the bill.

If no, then you can choose to file fraud charges against your MIL.

Neither ways are very pretty, but perhaps it's also time to pull your DH's credit reports and see what all is open in his files.

best of luck

[annekevdbroek]

Can your DH close the account? It seems to me this is the first step, to be done in writing, immediately. Agree with PP that you need to pull his credit report and write and clsoe any open accounts he has that he shares with her.

[lilyka]

obviously close the account (you can't close it till its paid but you can make it so she can't cause anymore damage. I can't remember how I did it when I got divorced.....just call the company. they have a plan for this sort of thing...)

unfortunately unless she opened the account fraudulently he is responsible for the debt and will need to settle up with his mom. this may or may not be worth the family drama it will cause. only you guys will be able to decide this.

Just a note to everyone reading this, please please check your credit regularly. you can get free credit reports online (freecreditreport.com ironically is not free). and start calling everyone immediately. find out what those accounts are and if you can cancle them. I was shocked to see mine was 5 pages long!! and even more shocked to see how much debt my husband had run up behind my back. fortunately since he did it behind my back and my name was not on all of it (although he did put my name on some of it) it made it is easy to put that on his list during the divorce....