DDC, hope that's ok-PP has it right on. There's so much focus on baby from everyone-because that's just how it is, and should be
Try to focus on big sibling as much as possible. Here's my couple of tips:
~Big sibling presents from baby.-and from anyone else if you can manage (ie: ask your parents to get a big sibling gift if they are bringing baby gifts)
~Plan some time each day (even 10 minutes does wonders) to just marvel on your older child. Listen to their stories, talk about what's important to them and try not to discuss baby.
~Allow something that you previously didn't because "you are a big sis/brother now" (bump bedtime back 10 min or something of the like and make it known how special that is-only for big brothers etc)
~Most important for me, was letting big sibling warm up to baby at their own pace. I never make them hold baby-even for a picture- sometimes they just kind of stare for a day or two and then bring me a blanket for baby or all of a sudden kiss baby on forehead. I kind of laugh that it's like when I brought home "step dad" for the older kids...don't force anything and it will happen naturally.
~Expect some backlash. No matter how I cut it, one of my kids didn't talk to me for two weeks after he realized "we are keeping it?!!" DH had to dress him and all because he wouldn't let me touch him. It broke my heart then, but we laugh about it now.
-I guess what I'm saying is your experience may not be so extreme, but don't expect perfect bliss either -There will be days when your older is frustrated and whiny, the baby is screaming, you are sore and hormonal...but it will pass! Try and be gentle to yourself on those days and ask for help!
-in relation to asking for help-it reminds me-it never hurts to let an outside family member spoil your older kid a bit too. Special dates with grandma were awesome for me. I could lavish on baby without any guilt of an older sib getting jealous and the older sib was in heaven getting spoiled by gma...just a thought if you have that kind of support system-perhaps talk to them now about this and they can remember it was requested and step in after baby is born for a couple dates.
I think underneath it all, most kids just want to know they are still loved and important and doted on-but in ways appropriate to them. By the time baby is a couple months, you'll be a pro!